A
female
age
30-35,
*rittanyat2
writes:Well for starters, this isn't an easy topic to discuss. I've had so much guilt, and frustration built in that I don't think I can do it anymore. My mom's boyfriend has been living with us now for almost 2 years. At first he seemed really cool, and really nice. He would buy me alcohol, and ciggerates, and basically anything I wanted he would get it for me. At the time, that's all I really cared about, was partying and getting drunk every weekend. So, I thought that he was just being a "cool guy" by buying all of that stuff. My nickname is "Big Titt Britt" (BTB)It's not meant to be nasty, or to be rude or anything, it's just something my friends have always called me just because my boobs have always been really big.Well, one day my moms boyfriend asked me, he was like " I over heard you and you're friends talking, and I can see why you're nickname is BTB." And I was just like what do you mean? And he said " Well, you do have really perky, pretty titties." And I was just like um, wow, ew! And ever since that moment, I tried to avoid him and not be around him as much because that really grossed me out! Well one day, he brought me home a case of beer, and he said "You can have this case of bud light, if you show me you're boobs" and I was just like NO! That's disgusting, why would you even want to do something like that! Well, he pushed me against the wall, and lifted up my shirt and started feeling on my boobs, he had me pushed up against the wall where I couldn't move or try to push him away. I was screaming and yelling and crying, and he told me to be quiet, and he told me that it was okay. He said he wasn't going to hurt me and that it would be over in a second. After he caressed my boobs he took his tongue and started licking my boobs, and that's when i kicked him. I think when I did that it startled him, and he automatically got scared, and he said I'm sorry, I'm about to leave, please don't tell you're mom! And that's when I just ran into my room, locked the door, and started crying. That's the last thing anything like that ever happened. But he would always make really bad gestures to me, telling me what he wanted to do to me. And all this other stuff. I'm so scared, and I don't know what to do! My mom needs to know what kind of man he is, but I'm so scared to tell her. She will be devastated. How do I do this!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2009): i am glad you told your mom even though it was a year later. better late than never.this man violated you. your mom needs to understand that it took guts to tell her everything and i am glad that she also believes you.
in time your mom will heal. yes her heart may be broken but she had a sex pest in her home. at least he is gone now and both you and your mom can heal together and bond as a family,
good luck
A
female
reader, TheAgonyAunt  +, writes (26 June 2009):
 This is totally wrong, you really need to tell your mum even if she will be devestated.. its better than hiding it from her and you shouldn't have to put up with that.
I think you should talk to your mum as soon as you can (when he's not around) and tell her the whole story. I'm sure she would rather know than not know.
Hope this helps =)
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A
female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries +, writes (24 June 2009):
 hun she's as you said in shock with the whole thing the man she was living with or is living with and in love with her done stuff to her young daughter!!! she just needs time and space to herself to figure out what to do and figure out why he did this to you!!
you're her daughter it's a big shock she just wished you told her sooner rather than later and fair enough it was really tough for you but it's also tough for her the man she loves has molestered her 16 year old daughter. the man she THOUGHT she knew like.
you just need to give her time and space see what happens.
i'm glad you told her sweetypie :) best of luck honey bun
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A
female
reader, brittanyat2 +, writes (24 June 2009):
brittanyat2 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell, thank you so much for all of your support and suggestions! I told my mom about everything, and she is in complete shock, and she's depressed, and so upset. She hasn't ate anything, and she will barely even say anything else to me! This happened a while ago, last summer. She made him leave, and she says she beleives me. But she keeps asking me why I waited a year later to tell her. Everyone keeps asking me that! It was so hard for me to say something to her, and no one understands that! I really don't know what to do. I'm trying to help her, and I'm trying to stay strong about all of this for my moms sake, but she feels as if I'm trying to ruin her life. My boyfriend is the person that I told all of this too first. I told him back in January that all of this happened to me, and that it was hard for me to tell my mom that this happened, because I didn't want her to be heartbroken. My mom has been divorced twice, and both of those men broke her heart terribly. She hasn't been that happy in so long, and she finally was happy! But only because she didn't know the truth, and she didn't know what kind of man she was really with. But for some reason, she just doesn't see that! I really don't know what to do. I regret not telling her sooner, but I can't take that back now, I told her to get it off of my chest, and to help her because she deserves to know what kind of man she was with! But she's just so upset, and she doesn't know what to do or beleive. PLEASE HELP!
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A
female
reader, hijacked_dignity +, writes (24 June 2009):
 Of course you should tell your mom. Find some one on one time with her and just come out with it. The longer you wait, the worse of a chance you have against anything happening. Another factor (and a rather sad one) is that after you tell your mom, she might not do anything about it. If that is the case, you need to tell the authorities. This is not something that should slide. Ever. Don't feel guilty, because you did absolutely nothing wrong. You are brave to even be talking about this incident, because most girls just can't face the truth when things like this happens. So act now. As soon as you can. This guy does not deserve to be living in your home, or anyone's for that matter.
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A
female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries +, writes (24 June 2009):
you just need to sit down with her and make sure she knows it's not your fault because it isn't and make sure she knows what kind of evil disgusting "boyfriend" she has hitting on a young girl and doing stuff to her!
making her do stuff really.
you need to tell her right away! make sure he is away from the house and you don't know what he's said to her already, you need to do it quickly before it gets even more out of hand.
you're definately not at fault here hun!!!
it's got to be tough but you need to tell your mum,
Hope this helps sugar let me know how it goes :) x x x
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A
male
reader, Moviefan +, writes (24 June 2009):
 Some one was in a similar situation near where i live and it ended badly for her because things escalated, her mothers boyfriend had been doing things like this and it only got worse with time. She ended up doing suicide because her mom didn't believe her.
Dont stop where she did put your foot down and tell you mom what he did and don't take "he wouldn't do that" as an answer, be strong about it.
Worst case scenario if she doesn't listen, bring in a 3rd party, being it family or the authorities. Dont be ashamed it wasn't your fault, you didn't do anything wrong it was all him. If you need any more advice or help feel free to private message me , ill be one everyday off and on.
I hope everything works out for you, im sorry that this all had to happen to you. Ive had some rough stuff happen to me with my moms boyfriend even as a male so i sort of know how it feels to be betrayed by someone your sort of stuck with unless you do something about.
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A
female
reader, laura585 +, writes (24 June 2009):
I'm so sorry that this happened to you! But indeed, you HAVE to tell your Mom. I have a daughter myself and I pray all the time that if anything like this ever happens to her that she won't be afraid to tell me. Your mom will have mixed emotions about this, she will be hurt and angry, also she may feel like it's all her fault for letting a man like that into her home with her daughter. It's not her fault, it's not your fault - it's all on him. Be brave when you tell her, it will be hard but it's something that NEEDS TO BE DONE.
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A
female
reader, Heartbroken-xx  +, writes (24 June 2009):
It's going to hurt your mom, no matter what. There is not a right or wrong way to put it, and theres definetly not an easy way.
I hope that you will tell your mom, and she will believe you, and be relieved that she didn't pursue her relationship with this man any further.
There is a chance he will deny it, but you have to be firm and put your foot down and plead that you would not lie about this.
I'm sorry that he did this to you, and it's not your fault at all. Some men are just perverts, and never grow up!
You HAVE to tell your mom, your mom is going to be hurt, at first, but me there for her, spend time with her, and help her through it, and I hope she will help you through it. Lean on eachothers shoulder and look within eachother for the proper guidence and care.
There is a light at the end of this tunnel.. If this becomes a major issue for both of you, I would suggest therapy, because this could lead to trust and commitment issues in the future..
Take care of yourself and your mom
xxxxxx
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