A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've got a long story to tell I want people's ideas. My current boyfriend has told me of his porn habits that seem a little strange. He claims when we were connecting by email (we knew each other from the pub but I found him on a dating site.) that he looked through his porn collection to look for women that looked like me, this is most probably true he knows the name of the woman, and basically did the business thinking of me. We ended up going on a date it went wrong then he started wanking off to any old porn, this is the confusing part......he then stopped for a week after we got a little bit physical, I gave him a hug, we nearly kissed. He stopped because I was creeping into his head but he didn't want the intimacy incase the relationship went wrong and he claims he didn't feel right looking at other people. We then started doing sexual things, and about 2 days later he began wanking again this time.... he claims he puts his pictures on manual slideshow, looks for the ones who look like me closes his eyes thinks of me. He said he looks at sex videos to remind him of the night before. He said he closes his eyes and thinks of something we've done. He claims to do this sometimes three times a week. Is this the biggest load of bs you've ever heard. Does anyone else do this?
View related questions:
porn Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe isn't one to lie, white lies perhaps but that is when he has absolutely has to. If he is telling the truth he is nearly perfect but the arguments we had after would say other. I did hear him say I obviously didn't feel like i was cheating on you because i was thinking of you.
A reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2012):
That was amazing what you said.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2012): I think it's normal... Well, I hope it is, because I've done it as well. I know my girlfriend is a drop dead babe, but man, she's the greatest girl out there for me.
I've got a couple reasons why I do this though. One, although my better half isn't a playboy model, she is beautiful to me because of our relationship (and she is rather pretty aside from that as well; not porn pretty, but bring her home to the parents pretty). She's beautiful because I love her, and she's sexy because I can relate my thoughts to the things we've done, and that can make it a lot more real.
Then secondly, I kind of feel wrong looking at other naked women. Honestly, it makes me feel wrong. And a lot of guys can agree with me with this, after you finish, you can just be flooded with all sorts of self loathing. In this case, it's being upset with yourself for thinking of another woman, while if you were thinking of your girlfriend you don't feel bad at all.
Long story short, no, I think he could be honest with that story. However, I don't know him or you, and I don't know the whole story. I'm just going say, it is very possible he is telling you the whole truth.
And lastly, both of your female answers said he was a liar, but the men who should hopefully understand men, both agree that it is a normal thing.
Hope it helps.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2012): "Is this the biggest load of bs you've ever heard"
Yes, that does sound like bs. I think a lot of men tell their girlfriends and wives this so they won't hurt their feelings. They think if they tell their women "I was only looking at women who look like you", their women will feel much better about them watching porn. But the way I see it, it is what it is. Meaning, they're still viewing other naked women to get off. It doesn't matter why they're doing it, and I don't believe for one second they really are viewing it to fantasize about their girlfriends or wives. After all, why would they fantasize about what they already have? People don't tend to fantasize about reality. So believe what you like, but I think he's telling you this so you won't be upset about his porn.
...............................
A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (26 June 2012):
 I think he's a porn addict who has a creative imagination when it comes to explanations. Seriously, you're in front of him, willing and eager, and he's in the process of growing a healthy relationship with you, and porn is *this* important to him so as to cause him to interrupt the growing of a healthy relationship, not to mention talk about it in such meticulous detail with you??
He talks about porn like many guys talk about their girlfriends. He sounds socially awkward, and it reminded me of these guys who have a collection of life dolls they treat like sex mates/girlfriends so as to avoid the performance anxiety and effort to connect with real women.
Sorry, but your boyfriend sounds a bit creepy, as in the "he sits and likes to watch through a peephole" creepy.
...............................
|
