A
female
age
30-35,
*ulu55
writes:My boyfriend feels uncomfortable seeing videos and just a handful of pics on my Facebook page of my ex boyfriend, it's vids and pictures of him and a few if my friends hanging out and normal pictures of me and him.. He's asked me previous times to delete it but I never did. It got to the point where we were in a fight one day and he brought it up and said delete it all and him as a friend if you want to be with me. Either choose your last or go with the future. I was stubborn and held my ground because u hate threats and wen people boss me around. We havent been talkjng for a day now. I can't tell if he's bluffing or not and I'm not sure if I should listen to him or not. Is he just Being controlling or...?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2012): Oh wow, these people are really insecure :(
If my boyfriend told me to delete a picture of my ex boyfriend in a normal setting with friends and I, as you said, I would tell him to go and do it!
Is your time with him and devoted to him not enough?
Ugh, that is selfish if anything.
Stand your ground and keep your head up girl!
A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (13 March 2012):
I'd get upset too if my bf would keep pictures of him and his ex on public display. Their relationship is simply not relevant anymore and making a big fuss about keeping those pics online would make me wonder if he was really over his ex at all.
OP, when embarking on a relationship with someone, the last thing you want is be with one who has pics of their ex around for everyone to see. It's an insult to the current relationship. That's why he makes a big deal about it. He's obviously crazy about you, but he doesn't know if you're serious with him. Why is it so important to have pics of you and your ex online?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2012): No you shouldn't, it's like asking you to delete part of your history. Past relationships shape who we are today...
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A
female
reader, jinxx  +, writes (13 March 2012):
 It's a reasonable request. It makes your new partner uncomfortable, and rightly so, to see pictures of your ex around... especially with you two as a couple.
If they're something you feel you absolutely NEED to keep, save them and delete them from your facebook page. There's nothing like starting a relationship with a new person who seems to be stuck in the past. Believe me, I know. If you're serious about this guy, and care about his comfort and his happiness, just get rid of the pictures. It's not about being bossed around, it's about doing something that's really common courtesy, anyway.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2012): No one can control someone else, but no one has to stay in a relationship if there is something bothering them either.
One way to think about this is that he probably has real feelings for you. A guy who was just in it for sex wouldn't care. If you decide you will only stay in a relationship with a guy who doesn't care about this type of thing, you can guess what kind of a guy you're likely to end up with.
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A
female
reader, PatientlyWaiting1 +, writes (13 March 2012):
Are you kidding? Print them, and put them away in a box. He will leave you if you don't get rid of them. It is COMPLETELY embarrassing for him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2012): My ex had pictures of his previous girlfriend still on his Facebook site while we were dating. But he had only one picture of me and that was only because we were tagged in another friend's picture together. One night he even called me by his ex's name. I know now that he was still thinking about her, still wishing he could be with her. Why else would all of that happen? If you're serious about the guy you're with, you'll lose these other pics and post a few more with your current guy in them. Otherwise I'm tempted to believe that you're not over the ex. And how does that work when trying to build a mutual, respectful, trusting relationship with your current boyfriend?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (12 March 2012):
 I don't think Facebook is the place to display your past relationships to be totally honest.
I agree with saving them to a flash drive or upload to photobucket/flickr and removing them from FB.
I don't think he is being controlling, though I don't respond well to ultimatums myself, so I get why you dug your heals in, but you need to think whether this is worth breaking up over or not.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2012): Its a reasonable request.
If it was you and you saw him with an Ex he loved and cared for and he had videos and photos of her and Him all in his FB- sending out the message he wasn't in another committed relationship with you- I'm sure you would have something to say.
Do what is right and fair AND LOVING and SUPPORTIVE and get rid of them.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (12 March 2012):
 I have to agree he’s not being controlling… He’s asking you to move on from an ex and focus on the present. Is making a point worth losing a relationship???
Put them on a flash drive and label it. Put it in the memory box of stuff you have… in a few years they won’t matter to you much anyway….
My fiancé just asked me the other day to get rid of all ties to prior relationships (except my children of course) this means I am having a TATTOO re-worked and covered to please him…. Way more painful and permanent than what your partner is asking of you? Mine is worth it… is yours?
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A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (12 March 2012):
 No he is not controlling, he is being perfectly reasonable. When you move on from an ex you shouldnt have pictures of you two on Facebook for the world to see, that is rubbing it in your boyfriend's face and will make him feel like you are holiding onto those memories because you have feelings for your ex still.
You are sharing your memories of you and your ex for the world to see, showing the world how happy you were and what a great relationship it was. Parading your ex around in front of your boyfriend and everyone else is insulting, and if I were your boyfriend I would be pretty sure you still had feelings for your ex.
Like all the other answers have said, you dont have to delete them permanently if you dont want - keep them stored on your computer if you must. But if you really love and care about your boyfriend then take them down from Facebook and show your boyfriend he means more to you than your ex does. If you still wont take them down, well you are showing your boyfriend where your loyalty lies - with your ex.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2012): Why do you still have these photo's anyway? I don't know if it's just me, but I've never understood why people keep photos of their ex on social networking sites. Fair enough, if it was in your emails or somewhere private (and even that I find a bit strange), but not where everyone can see. He isn't being controlling and I can understand why he wants you to delete them. I would certainly ask my boyfriend to delete them if he had photos with his ex. If my boyfriend didn't do it himself, I'd probably have asked him to delete his ex as a friend too, as I don't see the point in having them if you're not their 'friend'.If you love your current boyfriend, I think you should delete the photos and respect/understand why he wasn't comfortable with them. Because seriously, no one wants to see photos of their girlfriend and their ex, especially when it's public, it isn't worth the arguing about too.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (12 March 2012):
 No, he is not being controlling.
It's one thing to have in your personal possession pictures of your ex. If they were on a personal computer or external hard drive or flash drive, they would be your memories and perfectly okay. That has always been an option to you, and I'm guessing that you already have these pictures and videos stored on your computer in your possession.
So this isn't about trying to erase the memories of your ex. This is about taking them down in public, which quite honestly is a very reasonable request. Like it was suggested, how would you feel if you went to his house and saw framed pictures of he and his girlfriend all over? How would you feel if he had a video of a happy time with his ex in his video player?
On facebook, these are public adornments, and I think you should take them down. I'm not saying that you should delete them from existence, but rather your Facebook public like no longer reflect a happy life with your ex. That's the same as having the reminders up in your house for you and everyone else to see.
Your stubbornness will cost you your boyfriend. Entrenching just because you don't want someone to "boss you around" and the fact that you're thinking that he's "controlling" you is going to lose you someone important. Your actions are showing him that you aren't over your ex, especially if you're willing to get into a huge fight over keeping his mark on your public Facebook.
If I were you, I'd do the right thing, because it might almost already be too late.
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A
female
reader, Fate100percent +, writes (12 March 2012):
That's quite a hard question, because I can see both yours and your boyfs point!Are you still in contact with the ex? (I mean does he need to still be on your fb?) Does your boyf have pics of ex's on his fb?It sounds like your boyf is feeling insecure, but your pictures are YOUR past/history and we all have one. (We can't pretend we have never dated anyone else or change the past can we!)Maybe you could comprise, and ask him to delete any of his pictures you don't like if he has them too? Just where does it stop though? Do you delete friends he doesn't like of fb? Do you not talk to any ex's ever again because he doesn't like it, etc etc.I would explain he is your future and (I'm presuming you are still on good terms with your ex if he's still on your fb friends), that you don't feel it's necessary to pretend you never had a relationship with your ex. Also I'm assuming your relationship status is set to with your new boyf, so the ex knows the score. One other thought is you could hide your photos from certain people (like the current or ex boyfriend!)x
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A
male
reader, IHateWomanBeaters +, writes (12 March 2012):
 I would end it. Why can't you have pics of your ex on your facebook? lol
If you haven't actually done anything against him, there should be no reason for you to delete the facebook.
He is being controlling.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2012): I personally have no pics of any ex's on my facebook, nor am I friends with any of them. I feel that's the tactful thing to do. However, I know not everyone feels the same way as several people I know have pics with ex's in various albums.
The bottom line, though, is that you should do what you feel is right. Forget your boyfriend's request for a moment and consider this - what's the point of having those pics and videos there?
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