A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I are very much in love. We have been dating for 2 years and we are both 17. But there is one problem. He likes another girl. It's been about three weeks since I found out, and I was hesitant to stay in the relationship but there is so much love and he is absolutely torn apart by the fact that he could even feel that way about someone else while we are so in love. He is freaked out and I am trying to be patient. He says that the crush going away, and I believe him, but it still isn't gone. I know he has never cheated and I absolutely trust that he has not. I know that he hasn't. He's torn apart enough just by liking someone else. He would never do that.My question is: what should I do? Give him more space? more time? How long should I wait? It's not fun for me, either... I don't think I could break it off. Any suggestions other than that?
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female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (12 September 2010):
 Yes your a brilliant girlfriend, and you and your boyfriend have a strong relationship that allows a level of honesty few people have.
Sigh..
He doesn't know how long this crush will last, if he did he would be able to stop it now.
1. Break up to give him space and time to miss you. I like this idea, but it also leaves him lonely and he might be tempted to cheat.
2. Continue as you are, but what if it doesn't change, what if he starts to feel trapped and starts to want her more..
Sorry babes, I don't know. Do your best, you love him and he loves you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2010): That is certainly not an easy truth to bear. I hope that he is really trying his best to forget about the girl. You should try your best to do something creative for him again in order to pull him back. Couples should try new things together after being together for a long time in order to keep the fire burning
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A
female
reader, hayhay +, writes (30 December 2008):
I am in the same boat, in the same sea... Rough waters...
I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years, I found texts and e-mails between him and another girl... being sappy. I quickly asked what was going on, and he confessed that he liked another girl. My heart was broken, but I can't blame him for having feelings.
I am sticking with him though, just like you are with your boyfriend... I am giving him the chance to let the crush fade, and for him to find that feeling in me again.
I hope everything works out for the best...
:) good luck to you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2008): You're probably feeling hurt right now.
Leave him...
He should only have eyes for you.
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A
female
reader, GothicPorcelainDoll  +, writes (9 May 2008):
Im in a similar situation at the mo. and I'm findin it tough too. U are great for stayin so postitive!I hope everythin works out for you!
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A
female
reader, Chrissi[[HURRICANE]] +, writes (22 September 2007):
the same exact thing is happening to me now. It was alittle weird, him telling me that he had a crush on another girl, and he was angry at himself for even having that feeling in the first place. I wasn't angry or anything, I was just speechless after he told me, because I don't want anything to happen to him, I don't want to lose him to some other girl.
I think that many people just get these feelings once in awhile. Like, the feeling of something new to them that they havent felt in awhile, since they had not been single or anything.. that might have sounded confusing.. well what im trying to get at is that im sure that the crush will fade away, in time, and you just have to be patient and let this run its course. 333 I hope I helped.
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A
female
reader, lah mouw +, writes (2 September 2007):
 I've been in the same situation. I know, it's hard to just sit there and watch it happen. And although it may be going away it feels horrible that it's even there in the first place. I think you're doing great though. Just keep doing what you're doing just be patient and most of all help him through it especially when he needs you. You might even want to talk about the situtation. You can do it. And, I'm sure it'll go away...He's in love with you. Things will come together. But also take good thought about what you want to do.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much for the input. All of it was very helpful, I mean it. I was expecting everyone to be totally against me staying with him but the responses were really positive.
I really hope that it goes away, because we have too much to lose. I am proud of the way that I have handled this and I am glad that you all approve.
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A
male
reader, duce00 +, writes (30 August 2007):
 I think the fact that he is young and inexperienced has led to his crush/curiosity. While you may even be the great love of his life Im sure subconsiously hes wondering if he has missed somthing before settling down. This tends to fade I think once younger folks realise that the grass isnt actuly greener on the other side. I know for my self and many others on this site that having love and happy monogamy IS the greener pasture we are seeking. Youth is a time for making mistakes and learning from them. If what you 2 have is truly golden then I really hope he can fast forward through this little phase because it really leads nowhere.
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A
male
reader, daglish  +, writes (30 August 2007):
 I think if you trust him the that crush will surely fade
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (29 August 2007):
 Hi
He sounds either extremely honest or looking for an escape???
Hats off to you though. I think you're brave! My pride would have me running as fast as my legs would carry me! But i expect there are plenty of guys and gals that are attracted to others at some point. Only dont mention it!
If you can stand it, give him some time.
You will be taking a gamble but maybe you can handle it and it will be worth it.
Good luck.
C xxxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2007): Wow, congratulations for being such an emotionally mature your lady! Not many people could ever handle a situation like this with as much grace. He is a lucky man to have you and he knows it :-) Hang in there, give him space and help him to work through this. This will take your relationship to a new level.
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A
female
reader, artistical_bumblebee +, writes (29 August 2007):
 o gosh honey my girlfriend is in the same situation with her boyfriend she fancies another guy and has done things with him occasionally she reassures me and her boyfriend that she loves him and only him that this feeling for this other guy will fade that it is rather curiousity than love but it has been going on for three months her bf trusts her completey and they have had *space* three times for her to figure out what she wants to do but it has been three months now and she is still confused my advice for you is to take this into account remain open with your bf i am not saying that this will happen to you but it is a possibility and if your bf discovers he likes this person more than you or is still attracted to her talk to him about it and see what he wants to do but whatever you do honey do not be a pushover you may love him but at the same time you do not deserve to played , you could also just accept that it is healthy to like other people but darling your only real problem is if he likes her more than you hope this helps you xlove x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2007): well if you feel so strongly about eachother just get over it. if you don't want to break up, be patient. he's oviously trying his hardest to get past this. he's being honest. it's completely up to you how you deal with this. you say you trust him, then what would your reason be for leaving him? Think about it.
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