A
female
age
30-35,
*achaparritax19
writes: Well my boyfriend and i been dateing for almost 3 months now. he tells me he loves me, and i tell him i love him back. but im not sure if i really do. i know i like him and i care about him so much, but in love with him no. or am i just confused ? ughh help me please.. Reply to this Question Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, LovelessAct1 +, writes (4 November 2010):
Love is something that definitely takes time to develop. Its been scientifically proven that for the first 8-12 months of a relationship your brain is constantly producing "feel good" chemicals, giving people all those amazing feelings towards each other. The excitement of being with someone new and learning things about them and having someone who takes interest in you kicks your body into a hormone/endorphine producing frenzy. I always called this stage the "puppy love" stage.
Chances are, your boyfriend does care about you a lot, but its the excitement of the new relationship that is driving his thoughts. I always tell friends to wait a good 6 months before dropping the L word, even if every bone of their body wants to say it before hand. Because if they say it and those chemicals in your brain stop being produced and you find out that you really didn't love them, you could be in a sticky situation.
My advice right now is to talk about it. Really tell him that you care about him a lot and you may have misconstrued the immense care you have for him as love. But tell him gently, and assure him how much he means to you. Maybe someday both of you will get their for real, maybe not. Its very early in your relationship (very early) don't ruin what could be a great time getting to know each other with crazy emotions. Just have fun :)
A
female
reader, romany +, writes (4 November 2010):
If you have to question if your in love with him, then your not in love with him.
You may just be in love with the idea of being in love.
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