A
male
age
41-50,
*eal Love 32
writes:Hi everyone I am looking for someone to help me out. I am a gay man and I was in a relationship. The guy I was with was a good guy and he did so much for me. We broke up as I was going thru a tough time. I did him wrong in so many ways. I know I loved him when we were together its just I missed all the signs. I believe he loves me still. To tell you the truth I had a substance abuse problem which made me appear to not care about him. The truth is is that I really did and still do. I believe that he would have held on but there was so many people telling him stuff. He is with a new guy right now and has met up with me on two occasions. I dnt knw. I really just want to let him go and I find myself blaming, and feeling lots of guilt. I have prayed to God and asked for forgiveness. I just want to let go and move on. I hurt when I think about him and to be honest I am a little envious because this new guy have someone that is really loyal. Its sad that I didnt realize that I had something good until its gone.How do you let go of someone you Love?????Help please!!!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2010): Hi thereI was so touched when I read your post. For someone to be sincerely sorry about hurt they have caused to someone else is one of the most precious things in the world imo.I don't know how much you have really talked with him or sorted things out since you split up but I think if you both really care about each other you should not drop it that easily.I know it's not quite the same but my dad used to be an alcoholic and he was very cruel to me, my little sis and my mum.I had no place to go then since I was too young to move out and there were times when I was so desperate I just wanted him to be dead so he would stop hurting me.A lot of time has past since then and he has had a few enlightnings. I know he is very sorry for what he did and he keeps showing it. Not just talking about it but really show it through his actions. He has never pressured me in any way to forgive him and has always waited for me to get in touch he has just let me know how sorry he is and that it would break his heart to know he could never make it up to me.Like I said he never pressured me but kept showing me in a very subtle way that he regretted what he had done and that he was truly hoping but not EXPECTING that one day I could forgive him.It has been some time since I have moved out and my feelings for him have really changed since then.So from your ex's perspective I can tell you that not all is lost if you do the right thing and if you let him know that you feel sorry and don't try to run from the responsibility. Believe me that will leave a big impression with him.I wish you all the best and let us know how it turns out.
A
male
reader, Real Love 32 +, writes (5 November 2010):
Real Love 32 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Hey thanks so much I really appreciate your feedback. Its a working progress and I am confident that I will get thru it. Thanks again.
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A
male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify  +, writes (4 November 2010):
 your drug habit shut him out and he left. you can blame yourself all you want but it wont put things back to the way they were. he has probably had enough of the way you behaved. your only option is to focus on making yourself more well rounded and hoping for someone new. because if you really become happy in yourself (easy ways to acheive this are exercise, eating healthy and new hobbies) someone new WILL come along, and you can make up for your mistakes with them.
good luck, put that past behind you and stop blaming yourself for things that cannot change
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A
male
reader, Welsh Uncle Dave +, writes (4 November 2010):
Hindsight is a wonderful, but exceptionally frustrating thing that you can do little about.
If he still loves you, talk to him, tell him what you are feeling. If the love is still there from both sides, then who knows what can happen.
If he says he has moved on, it will really hurt, but it's the kick you need if you do want to move on as you know he has gone in one direction and you have to go in the other.
Time is a healer even though it doesn't feel like it now, but you have to remain positive and learn the lessons from the past. He is not the only good guy out there, there are plenty of others.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2010): TOUCHED ~ I can't help but to want to be in your physical presence right now to wipe the tears from your cheek and embrace you.
You say that the guy loved you. Please be contact him, and just be honest with him about what you've shared here. He wants to be there for You.
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