A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm 14 and my bf is 15 and we have been having sex and i got worried that i was pregnant then i got my period. And now i want to have a baby! Is there something wrong with that? And how would i tell my mum? She would go crazy. I really Luv my bf and he Luv's me and i want a baby but i don't know how i would tell my mum? Can anyone give me advice? Is there something wrong with wanting to have a baby at this age?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2007): I feel exactly the same im 15 and i want a baby!!! i knw its not normal and it would be wrong but I WANT a baby...i was taken out of my mother's care when i was 5 (molestation and other stuff) i had a little brother of about 6months now i dnt know if that has something to do with me wanting a baby soooo bad...im a white female from S.Africa,homeschool and in matric(grade12)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2007): no nothing is wrong with u wanting a baby speaking from experice i wouldnt do it if i were u i had a baby gurl isabella when i was 14 and it is so hard as soon as i got pregnent my 18 year old bf broke up with me and denies the child test results r coming in but i no its his its hard cause u think he loves u but when u tell him he wont and also changing dipers late night wake ups and feedings u also need to give a lot of money towards it so i dont recmend it use protection oh and if u do get pregnent the do what i did i came right out i said mm i want to talk t u in private dont freak out but i am pregnent and i cant do this alone explain your situation and she will learn to understand it takes a while
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2007): no there really isnt, but speakin from experience. i am from a group of eight girls, n i am the only one who has not had either a miscarriage or a baby. everyone wanted kids, so they all had one. it isnt what any of them dreamed-only one of the fathers stuck around, 2 of them are in grotty one bed flats on minimum money or leave the parents to the late night feeds, and nappy changes whilst they go out! its not all walks in the park, and dressin the dolly up! please think about it-i love each and every one of those babies- i really do, but i feel like my friends are missin out on their whole lifes! what life experiences can they tell their children when they are older? and i mean they were 16, 2 yrs older than u! wait until u are stable and most importantly of all, do it when ur kids will be able to honestly say 'mum im proud of u, and what u ave done' set an example to ur kids. im sorry if u think i seem harsh, i hope it all works out babe xx
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female
reader, penta  +, writes (1 August 2007):
 First find a baby that you can babysit -- you'll see exactly how very HARD it is to care for one.
I have 2 (ages 2 and 3) and they're expensive (daycare, and classes, and clothes, and trips, and college someday, and diapers, etc.) and they're demanding (24/7 care) and you don't get to do anything in your life anymore. You can't put them down and walk away for a while when you're tired. It's been ages since my husband and I were able to even go to the movies. If you have them now you will be giving up so very much!
Now don't get me wrong, we love our sons very much. But we waited until we had a stable marriage (so that there were TWO of us to do all the work) and enough money and maturity.
I was 37 when I had my first baby. You're so very young and you have A LOT of time! Enjoy the freedom you have right now and postpone having children until you've gotten to do the other things with your life!
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A
female
reader, Beckto +, writes (1 August 2007):
 As the others have said, there is nothing wrong with "wanting" a baby. But there's everything wrong with actually having a baby at your age.
I'm 28 years old and I WANT a baby, too. But, I also know I'm not at the point in my life and career where I know I can do a good job of it. There are a number of reasons why someone might wait: money, time, school, having the right partner, maturity.
You can't help what you want, but you can help what you do about it.
Why not try babysitting? The reality of childcare might snap you out of this fantasy of yours.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2007): You are not wrong, most people feel like having them later if life but that is not for everyone. honestly there are so many great things that life has to offer, and you should get to experience them a little before kids. learn, love, travel, then once you feel as though you have a good idea about what life it about, you can raise a beautiful baby and teach them about it. my friends that have children early wished that they would have waited. i'm 25 and love life, and i can say without hesitation that children would be so lovely, however there is too much out there to experience before i want to dedicate my entire being to raising a child
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female
reader, PoSiOnKiSS  +, writes (1 August 2007):
 Your young and your hormones are flying everywhere. Best thing you can do is sign yourself up for one of them robotic babies that are incredibly similar to a real one. There was a programme on it and it was amazing to find that young teenagers who wanted babies couldnt even look after a robotic doll! If you dont want to tell your mother then why not ask your doctor or nurse for some confidential help on the matter. Have you got a full time job? can you pay for nappies, food, clothing, a cot, a pram, and everyhting else a baby needs? and i think its reallu unfair when people say that there parents will help because you should only have a baby if you yourself can support the baby, and at 14yrs of age you most definatly cannot. And about the father staying, okay hes 15 years old right? well how about when hes 18, 21, and all his mates are going out on the lash, you think hes guna wanna stay in and look after a baby? Its okay to want one, but actually having one is a different matter. Dont waste your life away. Your still a child yourself and having underage sex! And where were you thinking of living? you and your 15yr old boyfriend? at your parents, dont you think thats abit unfair? landing your parents in such a situation? so if you really are thinking about getting pregnant id tell your mother because it will be ten times worse telling her your having a baby instead of telling her you want a baby. Think it through hun. x
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male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (1 August 2007):
 I'm not sure whether there is something wrong about wanting a baby. I am sure you should not have one now. You're so, so young. Your life is barely starting and you're not even physiologically ready, let alone economically or psychologically, for such a big step.
You should use contraception. Believe me, it would be no good for anyone if you had a baby at this age.
I'm telling you this in this manner as I could be your father and I would hate it if you made such a mistake at this moment.
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female
reader, aphexinfinite +, writes (1 August 2007):
 ok first off youre under age and should not be having sex. second you are too young to resposibily take on a child since you are one youre self i dont want to seem mean hunnie but its only the truth their are other children throwing away their lives struggling to bring up a child with their family support and the father doesnt want to know after its born majority young boys say i wanna have a kid then turn round after its born and say its youre problem, please dont waste youre life away finish school and see how you feel after youre 16, talk to youre mum she may seem a little mad but she is the best person to talk hunnie hope this helps xxx A
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female
reader, Sweet-thing +, writes (1 August 2007):
 It's okay to "want" a baby, but by all means, WAIT until you're older. Having a baby is a huge, huge responsibility. You are only 14 and it will change your world in ways you can't even imagine right now! You have your whole life ahead of you. Don't rush. There will be plenty of time to have babies when you've finished school, earned a degree, landed a great paying job (with maternity leave and benefits) and have a wonderful husband to help with the 3:00 AM feedings. You have fallen in love with the idea of having a baby because it signifies some kind of arrival into adulthood. You will get there soon enough. Just enjoy your life exactly the way it is right now and know that if you wait, you'll be so glad you did! And you will be in a better place to provide for you child when you do have one.
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female
reader, lovehate +, writes (1 August 2007):
 Everyone is different but it might not necessarily be the right choice. Babies are hard work and your education will suffer. You must think about everything and some people don't respect young mothers. The fact that your underage will also cause for concern. I do not think it is a very good idea at this age as no one is ready. Have fun with your boyfriend now because if you have a child you won't. Ask your parents what they think. They won't be angry with you for asking. Put it in a different context if your frightened about asking. Good Luck and make the right choice! X
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female
reader, Rymo +, writes (1 August 2007):
well, you going to feel all over the place for a while, your young - (as much as you hate hearing it, YOU ARE!)
so your hormons will get you wanting all kinds of things. what you want one day you may not the next.
if your only consern is to have a baby or not have one then YEP your not ready. my guess is your own mum still looks after you! pays for you ect, you cant be a mum when your still a baby yourself, it wouldnt be fair. and hopefuly you would only want the best for your own baby.
i think the best thing you can do is talk to your mum, if you havent already. tell her your serious and want an adult conversation so she doesnt just call you stupid and leave it at that, then exsplain things to her.
shes a mum, your mum, and she wants whats best for you so shes the best mum to speak to.
good luck!
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