Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, SayWhat?  +, writes (16 December 2008):
This question was posted quite some time ago. I was curious to see how the relationship is going.
As far as the question, I have to say that any woman who is with a guy, with or without money, expects to be treated in kind.
If he has a decent income, it is reasonable to expect him to purchase a decent ring. By that I mean, a ring that he should put some effort into the purchase and cost to him.
I personally would want to go out of my way for the one that I love. It just seems like it was not a priority for this gentleman, though I doubt that he would acknowledge my sentiment.
The thing that concerns me is that you are posting this question in a public forum, and not confident to speak directly to him about it.
I think you had a valid question, and I hope that this was just a "thing" and nothing more. Best of Luck.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2008): My fiancee makes a google and he proposed to me without a ring. He said he thought I did not like rings when I have very beautiful ones. He could have given me a pair of diamond earrings, a diamond pendant.....nothing! I'm feeling very hurt. I think your man is not cheap at all.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2007): I think people are taking this literally. He basically is telling her the he is going to get her what HE wants. Not what she likes.
What is being said is that he is SELFISH. No consideration for her thoughts on the ring and the style she likes. This will end up reflecting in regards to other situations: living style, vacations, raising children.
THIS ISN'T ABOUT THE RING. IT'S ABOUT WHAT IT "SYMBOLIZES". His SELFISHNESS and the fact that he probably won't compromise with anything else.
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female
reader, love-him  +, writes (3 October 2007):
 Just be happy with what you have got. It doesnt matter about anything, at least your man has baught you a ring costing over a grand!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYEah, I went ring shopping with him, but I didnt choose the ring he ended up getting me. He ended up saying that he knew it wasn't the one I liked but that he didn't want my friends to be jealous! PLEASE!
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female
reader, 88jane +, writes (15 September 2007):
 Just as the others have said---he is not cheap and i do think that you are being very materialistic! when did material posessions become the important thing in life?! i would just be greatful to have someone who loves me and is willing to commit his life to me just as your fiance has done for you! i couldnt care less about a ring--the love is what is important here!! the sooner you realise that the better because a marriage wont work if you are not greatful for the love he is offering you! anything else such as material possessions is just a bonus!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2007): Yeah I think he is cheap. I mean making and spending that kind of money?? pfff. I understand you because it's not like you are saying "oh he ONLY spent this much on my ring. boo hoo." That is not what you are saying. You are saying "this man makes a ton of money, spends money like it's nobody's business, lives a super fancy expensive life, buys himself the best things around and bought me the bottomest of the line ring." That is what you are saying and I agree. A $2000 ring is the utter bottom of the line. But for himself he buys things that are the TOP of the line. Yeah that's wrong. And it is cheap. A man should want for you the same things and things of the same quality or better that he would buy for himself. And he didn't do that for you.
Honey don't listen to people who say that "oh you are so concerned about money." u-huh. Whatever. I understand you and you have a VERY valid point.
Anyways, did you pick out the ring?? Maybe that is why he chose that one?? Anyways it does matter. So don't let people make you think that you are greedy. He is a cheapskate. Something to think about now, because this is going to come up again in the future.
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A
female
reader, love-him +, writes (15 September 2007):
im just reading wot u wrote on an answer to someone else, and you say he spends so much on himself (and not you) lets just read over what your question was.. 'Is my fiance cheap? He makes 2800 a month and spend 2000 on my ring.' that clearly shows he gets to spend 800 on himself and 2000 on you. You need to step down and stop thinking it is all about money. to be quite truthful, it looks to me and a lot of others that you are just in it for the money etc.. if you wernt you would certainly not question this. think carefully about your decisions and wether you realy love this guy
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female
reader, Enzian  +, writes (15 September 2007):
 Hi there
I've got a question about cultures (because I don't really understand the problem behind this question):
How much is 2800 a month? Is that all the money he earns in a month? With ore without taxes? Does he has to pay the rent for his flat from this money? And what about assurances? My question is: is that the money he has just for food and pleasure or does he has to pay everything from it?
My other question: What is the meaning of this ring and the price of it? As far a I know it is the ring a man would give a women by asking her for getting married? Is that right? But what is the meaning of the price?
The reason why I ask: In my culture we don't know this practice. By the time my boyfriend will propose marriage to me, he will not give me any ring and he won't do it later. In our culture a couple will go to look for the marriage rings before the wedding day and he will pay for her ring and she for his. And these wedding rings would have to please both and they have to be affordable for both.
So this is my background and I'm interessted in the practice of your culture.
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A
female
reader, leanne.od +, writes (15 September 2007):
 why do people always think about money? supposing you could put a price on love, how much is yours worth? because it's doubtful any amount of money spent on a ring would be considered justifiable. you're lovely fiance shouldn't have disclosed the cost and then you could walk around blissfully thinking the rock on your hand is worth a small fortune. think about the long term - is it not him who will providing i you have children? will he not be aying the mortgage on a house? will he be paying for the wedding? so stop thinking about the cost of a ring and enjoy your life with him, life's too short to worry about money. good luck.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2007): OMG! My ex spent $295.00 on mine and yes it had a lot of little diamonds and crystals on the sides, it was made of white gold. But we are not north americans and he used to make less money than your bf. So there's a little cultural and money difference. I still think a 2K ring is a very costly ring and I don't think he is being cheap.
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male
reader, Jamer70 +, writes (15 September 2007):
 are you serious. You should be happy he loves you enough to buy a ring plain and simple.Also he has to feed himself, Buy clothes, travel etc. He needs that money.You do sound greedy and need to concentrate on the fact he wants to marry you.
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male
reader, Hk45cal +, writes (15 September 2007):
If the ring is beautiful, why should it even matter. We are talking 2 grand right? When has 2k ever been considered cheap, regardless of what you make a month. If I had to make a guess we are giving the wrong person advice. I should probably be talking to him on why he is with you. I think you should probably be asking yourself why are you really with him. I give it five years tops
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2007): You sound very selfish and greedy. It is not the price of the ring, it is what the ring symbolizes. If that is what you think then maybe he is thinking of sharing the rest of his life with the wrong person. Good Luck to him!
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female
reader, L.O.S.E.R.  +, writes (15 September 2007):
 The only way I could understand your question would be if you made mistake and wrote "2000" instead of "200".Even then I wouldn't consider him cheap...which I couldn't say about you tho (consider it a joke;)I wonder what particularly made you think that way?Why evaluating him now when it came to the ring?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionim not greedy, he just spends so much on himself, and it just seems like for the amount he makes and all the stuff he buys and the places he goes, he would've spent more. He said he didn't want my girlfriends to be jealous so he didn't buy a bigger ring (it's about a 1/2 carat)
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2007): Who accused him of being cheap? If he makes only 2800 a month...and has to live off of that a month...and he spent 2000...I don't think he was cheap. How did he pay rent? Buy food???If he could have spent more on you; he would have. Be thankful.
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male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (15 September 2007):
 According to some traditions, yes he would be considered cheap as he did not spend in relation to what he makes, a standard that was set by the BUSINESS that he is buying from.Then again, according to some traditions, you would be considered unappreciative (and a few other choice names) for looking at what the ring cost, and not focusing on what the ring suppose to represent.Why are you with him, and how does how much he spends on your ring relate to why you are with him?-Frank B Kermit
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2007): Lots of women would kill for a ring, I mean any ring. That is what most women want in a relationship and you have it. The value of the ring is not important, what's important is the meaning of it. He had committed to you by giving you the ring; belive me that is a big deal for man and women too. I wish my boyfriend propose to me, even if he has no ring to offer me.
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male
reader, eddie +, writes (15 September 2007):
 I dont know if he's cheap....BUT...you sound greedy and out of focus. You have some things to learn.
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female
reader, youcant loose what you never had! +, writes (15 September 2007):
have you got your prioritys right here love.first he loves you and thats the best gift anyone could have second somepeople don't even get a ring a that price think of someone who only gets a £100 ring then you'll have something to complain about.ok i understand that maybe ur upset that he didn't spend a little more however money isnt everything maybe you should aprechiate the ring youve got a little more like i said the best gift anyone can have or receive is LOVE! X X X
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