A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Um ...I am writing this because I am not sure if it's normal. I am a young female (22 years old), kind of tall, OK-looking .. and I've never been asked out. Like .. ever. I was recently having a casual conversation w/ some of my peers and this came up, and I just don't have any romantic / sexual experience at all. I know that I should put myself out there more, but I'm not sure how. What if I am just unattractive? Most of my friends are a good deal shorter than me, and I don't think that I could go out alone and just "hook up" with someone. I went to a very large university, and it was the same. I am shy around guys, and I don't think they find it attractive if you approach them. Is there something that I could do to make myself more attractive? Like change in dress / style, etc? Also, is it normal to still be a virgin? I'm sure that I'm not gay or asexual. Thanks for reading ...
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (5 October 2011):
 It's perfectly normal for YOU. It's harder to meet folks when you are shy.
If you don't meet folks, you don't date and you need to date and have relationships in order to have social and sexual intercourse...
Are there any hobbies you have that you could attend club meetings for? Take more classes at night to meet folks?
Do you have a religious affiliation where you could attend worship services and maybe get involved there and meet someone???
Being a virgin at 22 is a perfectly OK and fine thing. and I doubt you are ugly.. and I wish I was taller...
A
male
reader, ironman777  +, writes (5 October 2011):
Hi there, I was a virgin until I was 23 and thought the same as you, but I was just shy. It will happen for you, I started working and moved out of home after university and suddenly you have money and you go out more and then someone nice moved in next door and boom. It happened.
After you've had sex a few times, you realise its absolutely awesome and it should be special not just given away to some person you dont know or respect!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2011): I just turned 23 and I am still a virgin myself and just like you I have never had a relationship or have been intimate with anyone before. I spent too much time worrying about my status last year to the point of driving myself insane and often got teased by most of the 40+ year old guys that I worked with. The best advice that I can give you is that I have learned that a positive mentality always wins out over insecruity, no matter how valid your insecruities may seem at the time they never are. Rather than being concerned about Who others want you to be, you need To become a more enhancemed version of the individual that you already are. If you become an empowered woman who highly respects herself and loves the company of men then we will come running to you. Don't worry about if it is normal to be a virgin at our age or not. If you learn to have a sense of confIdence, security and respect for yourself then you already would have what Many lack.
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A
female
reader, Claraw1  +, writes (5 October 2011):
 I was a virgin until I was 24,nothing wrong with it at all. As for guys not liking a girl approaching them or asking them out, In my exoerience, I asked my boyfriend out and made the first initial move to take our friendship into relationship and he loves the fact that I did. Apparently guys like woman who are not afraid to make the move to initiate, and my boyfriend has told me that he finds it extremely attractive that I feel so comfortable with him that I could make the move. I was shy too, but now with the right guy, i don't feel shy at all, just have patience and you will meet the right guy when the time is right and when yoour not looking or expecting it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2011): girl im 25 and i am a virgin plus i look good so you are fine!
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A
male
reader, Guitarist  +, writes (5 October 2011):
 First of all, there's nothing wrong with being a virgin at 22 (so was I), a lot of people out there are even older and are still virgins so don't think it's not normal.
Meeting the right guy will happen on it's own, you just have to be patient and give it a bit of time.
As for guys 'not liking' a girl approach them, damn I'd love it for a girl to approach me and ask me out lol. Seems you just need a bit of confidence around guys, try not to see them as potential dates or start worrying about how you look etc, just be yourself and MAKE FRIENDS with them. See what happens from there, and remember, friends talk....If that guy only sees you as a friend, his mate might tell him he likes you...
Another thing you COULD look into to build up your confidence...online dating sites...that way you can chat first without feeling tense or whatever and hopefully eventually meet up and take it from there...that's what I did and it worked lol.
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A
female
reader, HoneyComb +, writes (5 October 2011):
There is nothing wrong with being a virgin at 22. Kudos to you for making it all the way through college without giving it up! Please respect your body and value your chastity. Don't have sex with just anyone...chances are you will regret it. Believe me, there are a million women out there that would take it back if they could.Work on cultivating friendships with both sexes...and get involved. Hang out in groups and join co-ed teams in your community like bowling, volleyball, and softball. Shy people are often misunderstood, so when you're at the gym, store, work, church, etc. look people in the eye and smile!!! If you can, do some volunteer work and ask for a leadership role ...these are just a few things you can do to overcome being shy and build confindence.
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A
male
reader, Jjang19  +, writes (5 October 2011):
Yepp, its fine. Im 19, still have my v-card, and planning to hold onto it until i find someone special to lose it to.
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