A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My birthday was two days ago, and for my present I found out that I am pregnant. For many people this would be fabulous news! And I really do want children, however due to finances, we really cannot afford to have a baby just yet. We were using protection: spermicide, condoms, the pill, but as fate would have it they failed to do their job this time. My boyfriend and I are just at a loss as to whether to abort the baby or give it up for adoption. I'm about 5 weeks along. I know its a very personal choice, but we are open to everyones opinion, it would really helpout, thanks so much.
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condom, sperm, the pill, want children Reply to this Question
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female
reader, samantha00 +, writes (17 May 2009):
I would definitely adopt your baby. If you don't want him, I do. Even if you do decide on an abortion, won't you let me know? There are so many people who would want to be his parents. It makes me sad that you would just throw away such a great possibility for-just a wonderful life. Write me. Either way.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2009): Hi I read your post about giving your baby up for adoption. I want to let you know I was born with Turner Syndrome and cant have kids without IVF and donor egg even if it would take. It is going to cost so much for that, and adoption even more. You are so lucky you have a perfect bundle growing inside you. I would so love to be a mother so badly, you are truely blessed. Adoption would give someone a chance of a life time they may never get otherwise. I know the agony of a decision that must have to be. I hope you make the right decision for you. Please remember my story, and that might make your decision a little easyier.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2009): Hi,
I would strongly suggest adoption - however, you're right, it is a personal choice but at the end, you'll feel so much better.
At the age of 1 or 2, my brother and I were both adopted by a wonderful and loving family. I am now married and have been, for the past six years. My husband and I have two dogs but no children yet. Not because we can't conceive, but because we've decided to wait on having any children yet. However, I know in my heart, that I am going to want to adopt a child.
Giving the gift of a child to a loving family is very rewarding!
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, lala marie +, writes (16 February 2009):
Well if you didn't want kids you should have been more responsible but don't abort, that's like murder to something you made... If anything adopt it out but I hate that idea too... I'm 16 and pregnant for my 2nd time so I say man up and take care of business and keep it and take care of it.. after all it is your child you know!
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female
reader, wonderingcat  +, writes (12 February 2009):
 Please see another posting today http://www.dearcupid.org/question/pros---cons-for-adoption--.html (Pros and Cons of adoption)Cat
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2009): ADOPTION.... you seem like a very loving and caring couple making a decision to give a child the best life possible. Take Care... i have no doubt the one day you will make fabulous parentsxx
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A
female
reader, wonderingcat +, writes (12 February 2009):
Adoption please. I was adopted. My birth parents were poor and could not raise another child, so they gave me up. I still feel so in awe over them for giving me up, because it must have been very hard for them. And I now feel I am most fortunate to have been raised (as an only child) by two wonderful parents who adopted me. They are not rich, but through their upbringing, I had access to good education and now I live quite comfortably. I am also in touch with my older birth siblings (my birth parents have since passed away), and am actually voluntarily helping one of them financially.
Please give your unborn child a chance to do good in this world!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2009): I DO WANT kids the mods make the titles not me, but we just arent in the position to have kids, financially we need a good 5 to ten years, we want our children to have the best life they can and want to be able to provide for them. I'm simply asking what should i do, abort or adopt? its not the babys fault i never sad it was. I feel bad as it is. I hate that we have to choose I hate that we cant just keep it but we really cant. I lost my job due to the economy and the store my boyfriend works at could close this year, im just trying to do the best i can for both us and our child... ( im not trying to kill it, but someone once told me that souls migrate, and maybe it can come back when we are ready.) I cry over this decision often, its hard no matter what we decide. Thanks
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A
female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (12 February 2009):
 I think that whichever choice you make you will have regrets. The final choice will be yours to live with for the rest of your life. If I was in your position and there was no possible way I could suggest adoption. You also mentioned that you were using the Pill, condom and spermicide.... I do suggest that if you continue to be sexually active [after whichever choice you make] you go to your healthcare worker for advice as I suspect that you were not using the contraceptives correctly.
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A
female
reader, kathy255 +, writes (12 February 2009):
Give the baby to a happy home please. You said that fate is the reason you are pregnant so why would you kill a baby it did nothing to anyone. Maybe your pregnancy is someone elses fate that baby will be blessed with a wonderful family. Start searching for an adoption agency or maybe find a lawyer to help you. You may be able to find someone that is willing to do an open adoption. I believe everything happens for a reason whether you want it to happen or not destiny has decided you need this life lesson. Abortion is not a form of birth control it is murder. I have read statistics that say more than 90% of women who abort regret it later and some suffer from severe depression. Are you willing to live for the rest of your life knowing that you could have had a child out there but you made the decision to end a life before it began. I don't believe man should be able to make that choice. Our society is so messed up kill a pregnant mother it's double murder, abort a baby it's a womans choice. How does anybody have the right to take a life. I don't even believe in the death penalty. Abortion is murder and you will never feel the same again. On a personal note my sister has had four miscarriages and still has not had a successful pregnancy and she desperately wants a child now can you really in good conscience kill your child knowing that there are people out ther that want one one can't have one. Please just give the baby to a loving family. If you don't want to go through the process of adoption most states now have laws that allow you to drop the baby off at hospitals, police stations, fire department,and churches without any kind of abandonment charges. There are other options that do not involve killing a baby. Sorry to be so harsh, but please don't do anything crazy.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2009): Definitely put it up for adoption. I don't want kids and I understand you. I would give it up for adoption if I were you. Eventually you'll feel much better you chose adoption. I know the pregnancy has it's complications and costs but keeping the pregnancy and finding a good loving couple to give it to will make you both feel like a million dollars. If you believe in God please think this baby has a purpose already and you should let it fulfill that purpose with another family. -Blesings
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2009): i agree with Plexi. people dont think there is anything wrong with abortion.. and i know i am soo very against it, but when your in that position it is different... however, i truly dont think you need to kill the baby because a mistake happened... these things happen, and i think you should put the child up for adoption.... There are so many family's out there that want a baby so badly and cant have one.. either because the women cant get pregnant, the man has weak sperm, or they are a gay couple or whatever the reasons..... Its not a choice anyone on here can make for you, its a choice you have to make on your own, so maybe get information about adoption, and information about abortion... best of luck hun and keep us postedxoxo
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female
reader, Plexi  +, writes (12 February 2009):
 PLEASE DONT KILL YOUR CHILD! please give him/her up to a good family who cant have children and will take good care of your child. I understand you guys got pregnant by mistake and accidents do happen but there is no need to kill the child who has done no wrong. It's very responsible of you to realize that you are not emotionally and financially ready to bring up a child so please continue that by making the right decision and letting someone who can provide those things take over :)
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male
reader, Jager +, writes (12 February 2009):
You want to have children. However you prepared to kill this one because you don't think its the right time. Alright well maybe thats thr right choice. Im guessing you havn't done this before i mean had an abortion. What you want to consider is the emotional pain you will put yourself through if you do get rid of it. You talk of fate something that was planned to happen by a greater force than yourself from the single paragraph than you wrote i would say your having thought as to whether you should keep it. It says your 18 - 21 do you have a job does your boyfriend? Do you have a stable relationship a home if so have your thought you might just be frigntened to have a baby and you creating excuses to protect yourself. Bottom line is im not against abortion and if it happened to me i would more than likely do the same thing abort. But think about whether you could actually keep it. Could you family support you or will the goverment will? Adoption should not be an option. Please don't do it either abort or keep it if you put it into the system the kind ain't going to have half the life you could give it even on the little money you have. Hope i haven't been harsh or upset you in this time where you are fragile. Good luck to you both
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female
reader, Quiet.Kisses +, writes (12 February 2009):
 There are many people out there who would love to adopt your baby and it also gives you plenty of time to decide if its something you want to go through with, unfortunately with abortion thats not a luxury you'd be given. Adoption can also be extremely hard on you emotionally because you'll have 9 months to get attached to this life growing inside you which can make it all that much harder when it comes to give that life to someone else. You need to look into all your options and talk to different consultants, the best choice you can make is an informed one. Professionals who deal with both adoption and abortion can give you better advice then anyone on here could. Best of luck, i really hope things work out for you.
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A
female
reader, amyrechel +, writes (12 February 2009):
No abortion, there are so many couples out there wanting children. Of course you have to weed out the ones that really may not have the best intentions of your child. I know alot of people that can't have children and they are great people. Abortion is not the way to go, I'm not even saying that because of religious views. I'm saying if you used all that protection then this baby was meant to be. Accidents happen, but going on with an abortion is just something you need to think about how it will affect you years down the road. Your right, its a very personal choice and no one can make the decision but you because your the one carrying it. I pray that you will come to terms that it happened for a reason, the baby you carry already has a heart beat. My prayers are with you.....
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A
female
reader, lightningrod247 +, writes (12 February 2009):
adoption.
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