A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Im still a virgin at 14 but recently, all my friends have been losing it and I'm beginning to feel left out.I know you shouldn't give in to peer pressure but they go as far as to say "Put your hand up if your a virgin" and I find only I raise my hand.The problem is, I'm so nervous about it, I flinch when people touch me in a sexual way.Do guys get nervous too?thanks
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2008): wow, thats amazing. 14 year olds having sex? thats horrible. too manty people see sex as fun and not loving. im 16 anf a guy, and ive only began to be sexual with my second gf. we havnt had sex, and yes im nervous about it. i want it to be special and out of love, not just for the heck of it. please, please wait until your at least 15 and ur ready.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2007): just because they say they are doing it, doesn't mean they really are. I think it's smart waiting. When you fall inlove with a person, it feels 100 times better! I remember in highschool, lots of kids were having sex but the relationships didn't even last longer than 3 months. I waited until I was 21 and I knew i was ready emotionally, physically, and mentally.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2007): I agree I think you shouldnt lose your virginity because everyone else is .I lost my virginity my Junior year in High School because the rest of the guys on the football team were "Doing it".And though it seemed kinda cool I regret it and i'm still disapointed in myself for pressuring myself and my girlfriend Katie into losing our virginity.It shouldnt be lost because of lust or pressure but to real love,trust,and commitment to another.After I had sex with my girlfriend she felt very akward for the rest of the time we were together(2 more months).I later found out that most of the guys on the team were lying ,and that only me and two other players truely were not virgins.I'm married now but with 3 children and I still feel guilt after 5 years.(I married Katie when I finished college)
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2007): hello, im a virgin at 14 years of age, personally i dont realy care about what my fireds say. allmost everyone that says "ive lost my virginity" lies, most of the people who actualy have, never talk about it. in our generation alot of teenagers lose their virginity at the age of 16-19, but personaly i would wait for "the one" before i lose my virginity. i think you should choose yourself.Be strong and dont givein because of the preasure. it may be hard. but you will regret it.ThanksMichael
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A
female
reader, Straight Up +, writes (9 July 2007):
 yes love of course they do. now just because everyone say they've had sex doesn't mean they have they could just be lying to fit in to. you should be proud 2 still be pure because once it's gone you can never get it back. so enjoy being untouched. and do please remeber that you are only 14 years old your even legal to have sex yet so stay smart
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2007): Take no notice of these girls who are probably not being totally truthful. I'd be horrified if my daughter was having sex at 14. OK , peer pressure is there and we've all been in similar situations. Better for you to tell a few lies (if it keeps them happy) than to start having sex for all the wrong reasons.
Imagine in ten years time , for instance ,you meet your future husband. Are you going to lose your virginity to him , or is he going to have to settle for a second hand girl, just so that you could please these friends of yours. This is a guy you want to spend the rest of your life with. He's not going to be happy that your not a virgin for him. So why not save yourself for the one you love.
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A
male
reader, Damo +, writes (29 June 2007):
firstly, i agree, peer pressure is one of the biggest hurdles teenagers like yourself have to overcome, but, with a bit of sense about yourself and a bit of guts, you can do it no problem. to be able to stand up and say "i am a virgin, and proud to be a virgin" to all those putting pressure on you to lose it will be hard, but i can promise you that you will feel alot better for it.another thing to think about is that people lie. for whatever reason, people do lie. i have done it, you probably have done it. sometimes it is to try and look cool in front of your mates, sometimes it is for other reasons but i can guarantee that roughly about 70% to 80% of your friends are still virgins, i would put alot of money on it! this happens even more so within friendship groups of guys around your age, so don't feel alone.one final thing to think about is how having sexual relationships at such a young age can affect your thought processes later in life. i myself lost my virginity far too young and even though i lied about it too when i was even younger, saying that i had lost it when i hadn't. the whole thing still affects me today. i still sometimes look back and think to myself "why didn't i wait?" i do wish i had waited for the right person and that i hadn't felt pressured into having sex, even though the base for all of that pressure was mostly bravado and lies. trust me, you will appriciate things alot more when the time is right for YOU, and when you are in no way being reluctantly pushed into doing something that you just dont feel comfortable doing.good luck with things and i hope that in time, you meet the right guy. for the moment though, dont rush, and dont be pressured!at your age, you should definately be proud to be a virgin!best wishes,damoxXxoh, and by the way, yes, guys do get nervous too! lol
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (25 June 2007):
 A few things:
- I'd bet money that a few of your friends are lying about it and pretending to have had sex, so that they 'look cool' (which they don't by the way).
- You'll be glad you waited. 14 is too young, not for physical reasons, but for emotional ones.
- A lot of girls who lose their virginity early pretend they thought it was a good idea, but inside really wish they hadn't. They'll not admit that 'til years later, but it's true. You only have to look on this site to see that: it comes up a lot (ie: 'i lost my virginity and now I wish i hadn't)
- Although to you now it seems that having sex is really 'cool' and whatever else, it's really not like that in the bigger picture. I know now that the opinions of your friends seems like the most important thing in the world. But, as you get a bit older that changes (thankfully!), and you'll become more independent and less worried about what others think. It's at that point that most people start wishing they'd waited to have sex with someone they cared about, and most importantly, someone who cared about them.
The average age that someone loses their virginity is around 16 or 17. Don't think that you're 'late' at 14. Maybe a bunch of your 14 year old friends have, but that just makes them early as a group, and a lot earlier than others.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2007): Dont give in wait it is better in the long run you will be more grateful. Also many girls actually lie about having sex around that age when they havent. Wait, be proud i know that sounds hard but you will get use to it. Yes guys do get nervous some show it more then others.
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A
female
reader, myp  +, writes (25 June 2007):
 Wait to lose it to someone you care about. Wait for that person your totally crazy about who doesnt make you flinch, matter of fact you should want them to touch you. And yes boys do get nervous, sometimes more than girls. As for the peer pressure, be proud that youre a virgin. Dont feel left out, feel special, instead of following the crowd your holding onto something precious and waiting to give that gift to the right person not just some random fling.best of luckmessage me if you want to talk =)-Myesha
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A
male
reader, GreenTea +, writes (25 June 2007):
Well if you had sex because of peer pressure, then thats no different then someone forcing you to have sex. Which is no different than rape. And you will regret it.And yes guys get nervous. Wait till you find someone worth giving it too. You will know who that person is when you find them.
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A
male
reader, Jamer70 +, writes (25 June 2007):
 Its good that you arent letting peer pressure get to you.Give it 10 years and all these girls will be regreting it, bar you. Waiting until you are ready is one o the smartest decisions you can make because at 14 you cant ully comprehends the risks i.e STDs, Pregnacy.At 14 your still young and should be enjoying life at your own pace. You will know when the time is right.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2007): yes guys get nervous very nervous but your friends need to shut up it is your body and you do not feel safe having sex right now then tell them to shut up or do not pay attion to what they say
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A
female
reader, bubbloo24  +, writes (24 June 2007):
 Be proud of it sweetheart!! Save it for someone you truely love. Don't give a toss about what anyone else does or what they say. It's your life and if they're gonna make you feel so left out like that then they're not good friends. They should respect your wishes.
14 is quite young lovely, and I know, a lot of girls and guys do that at their age, but find someone you truely care about, not just a random guy who has the hots for you. Honestly, from hearing a lot of my mates and a lot of ppl on this site, a few of them lost their virginity to some one they didn't have feelings for at all and regret it.
I promise you, its best to wait. Then you are ready and happy to give it away, but don't lower your standards because your mates have lost their virginities. Be smart - as sbrwneyes says.
Do what you want, WHEN YOU want to do it.
xxx Take care! xxx
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A
female
reader, sarahbeth101 +, writes (24 June 2007):
i had a boyfriend that pressured me into haveing sex with him. And i din't do it cause i didn't want to take the risk of getting aids or gettting pregnant. So if you do be carefull! don't get presured into doing anything you don't want to do!if you get pressured into having sex you will regret it!!! So the best thing to do is wait untill you get older and you know for sure that you are with the right person!
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A
female
reader, Sbrwneyes +, writes (24 June 2007):
 I think it's smart that you're waiting. Don't let peer pressure get to you...I know it's hard to deal with, but please don't let it get to you..it can ruin your life..really. Wait until you're ready, it's smarter, and a much better decision. It's something that you will never get back if you give it away. Wait until you want to, and don't care about what people think about it. They don't know you...only you do.
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