A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm an 18 year old and a porn model. Most people look down on me. Why is that? What is so wrong about it? What is everyone's opinion on me?
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female
reader, Gingerly +, writes (7 November 2010):
In this life we have to work, ideally a job that you enjoy. If you love dancing, dance. If you love cooking, cook. If you love stacking shelves, stack... you get my point. So if you love sex then why not have sex for money. The great thing with porn is that the guys are usually really hot! unlike escorting. Why spend hours in nightclubs looking for a really fit guy, only to discover he can't get it up or its all over with in 30 seconds. You get to have the fit guy handed to you on a plate, and you're paid for the privalige, its like being a footballers wife without the agro. But darling, if it is doing your head in, than take a break, gather your thoughts and figure out what it is you want to do next. There's no harm in trying something else just to see what its like. As for what everyone else thinks, it doesn't matter what you do or what you say there is ALWAYS going to be someone that doesn't like it, so don't beat yourself up. Sticks and stones ay luv x
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female
reader, zoeycee  +, writes (15 January 2010):
I'm a model as well and I've realized it comes with the territory. If you aren't ready to come to terms with some people taking issue with the profession, you're not mature enough to be doing it.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2008): Nothing wrong with what you do. If that is what you interested in then do it.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2007): Nothing is wrong, boy.Im thinking about being a porn star too, but I dont know what I am supposed to deal with.Im straight, could you tell me if I should to shot gay porn movies ?And how much is paid for each movie?Please reply to [email address blocked] with subject: porn Star.Thanks a lot, and do not worry about it.See you guy.---Which company may I apply ?.
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female
reader, Emmajane +, writes (23 September 2007):
 Well, I wouldn't look down on you. In the UK at least we seem to be getting rid of the idea that sex is bad, 'cos it isn't bad, it's fun! As long as you enjoy being a model and like the type of videos you make that's cool. Good luck.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2007): Alot of people are taught that it's their job to fix all of the problems in the world, and often choose to start with other people rather than themselves.
Maybe instead of looking down on you they should try to offer you some alternative gratification and/or a better job. Chances are those same people that look down on you are the ones paying to watch you, and looking down on you is another part of THEIR sick fantasy. Get a degree, and people will still try to screw you.
Just don't negate yourself to their interpretation. Do you look down on yourself because of it? If so, then change it.
"There is none without sin, no not one...."
~ Jesus Christ
Cowboy Dan
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2007): Well I would only like to say u must avoid coming n porn industry and should find other ways of living as porn will make you lose your self respect n ego.Your well wisher,Anonymous.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2007): Hi i am 18 too maybe some poeple think you are making a wrong choice on being a porn model or maybe they think you they just think that you could have been something better.But i think it is just fine to be a porn model.We do what we want with our lifes and everyone just lives to die.So you can do whatever you think is best for you!So have a nice day.=-)
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2007): the kind of people looking down on you love are the sort that are still living in the dark ages. comeon people this is the 20th century and erotica has been around since victorian times. I bet your grandads and grandmothers viewed this sort of material. So why people have this bad conception of erotica is down to their parents being so introverted and hence is carried on through generations. These days Erotica is a Part Of Life that effects everybody (although some wont admit that they actually enjoy it).We are What we are and we do what we like. Its your choice after all and for those that feel insecure about their own bodies often look down on others.
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male
reader, daglish  +, writes (18 August 2007):
 I must confess that sometimes m tempted to look down on porn superstars but when i come th think of it more deeply, i just appreciate what they do. Its not the best thing you can do for a living coz you are still only 18 .But if its waht you like to do then simply ignore the on lookers and do your thing. They will understand with time.
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female
reader, hugs4u002 +, writes (16 August 2007):
You are so young to make a decision that affects the rest of your life, and this will. Can you imagine seeing your mum in a porn film? Well, someday your children, or the man of your dreams, or your father, or brother, or sister will see you. How will you feel when this happens? The things you do now will follow you through your life. I for one think that is the very reason most porn features young women, because when women 'grow up' they would not make the decision to let the world see them in this unfavorable light. You don't own the porn, it owns you.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2007): nothing at all. its the british curse to be proodish. carry on enjoy what your doing
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2007): Why do most people look down on you? There's a number of reasons, some are moral in nature, some are marketing driven and some are health related while others are unclassifiable. In a nutshell there is no simple answer to your question.Firstly lets look at the moral side of the issue. Pornography is viewed by the God Botherers as being against the law of God, an affront to the concept that man and women should be married to have sex. In this respect pornography breaks the mould and threatens the God Botherers no end, as suddenly you have people who are not under the Church's control, thus you are a Godless person. This is very bad for business when you are dealing with Judaeo/Christian or Muslim based religious businesses as they share several things in common. Firstly they all control via fear (going to Hell, or in otherwords not going to heaven), and secondly they all have a common background and God. (Yes Christians it's true, you worship the same God as the Muslims and Jews).Next there is marketing. Pornographers have since the 1960s been working hard to legitimise the concept of people performing sexual acts on film for public consumption. In order to achieve this goal the industry uses a variety of promotional tactics including glamour, seemingly good rates of scale for various scenes performed and glossy packaging designed to entice. One only has to take a look at the tone of the language on most porn sites to see the real face of pornography, where the women are being portrayed as "sluts" "whores" "dumb bimbos" and so on. The constant repition of such terms produces in most people a view that the women involved in pornography are indeed as described.Hand in hand with marketing is exploitation. Both men and women porn actors are exploited big time by the companies that produce porn. Assume you do a 1 day shoot for a film, it's worth what perhaps a couple of thousand dollars. Compare that to the average website takings and you'll find that you're being paid a fraction of a percent of the gross takings. That makes porn actually a worse paying job on a percentage of profit than working at Wal-Mart, and that's not saying much!Porn is also not good for ones health, according to the latest statistics some 17% of porn actors have an STD at any one time. This figure is also reflected in general society as well. However the US porn industry in particuilar is very resistant to condom useage and so women in the industry are far more vunerable to major STD's than women who use safe sex practices in their encounters in private life.Then there's the intimacy factor, in most cultures sex is viewed as being equated with love and the giving of the ultimate gift, namely oneself. In the final take, porn is prostitution, that is selling ones body for money for sexual purposes. While this has been quite acceptable in previous time periods it is not viewed as being an acceptable career choice by the vast majority of people in the modern world. Guys in particular might want to have sex with you because they think they can, but long term relationships with men of any real substance will be almost impossible because of the stigma society attaches to those engaged in the oldest profession.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2007): I think people look down on you because you don't respect yourself showing off your body like it is just another thing in the world, but your body is something you shouldn't take forgranted but if you don't mind people using your body for an entertainment then go ahead and keep being what you are but that is why people look down on you because you don't respect your body.
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male
reader, eddie  +, writes (11 August 2007):
 There are many types of dead end forms of employment. People work for years doing jobs that pay minimum wage and have no benefits. Many people find themselves in the position of sink or swim. Many people have many hurdles to overcome. Some succeed others don't. Those who sauced choose to improve their surroundings. Some are so far gone they can't so it on their own. some never find the ability to lift themselves above the problem.
It's unfortunate but true. I'm sure the 68 year old working at Denny's would rather be enjoying retirement. I'm sure the single mother at Mc Donald's would rather be t home with her kids. I'd also bet most women would choose something other than porn. We have to take charge of our lives. It's not easy. There is no other choice though. The single mother working the night shift could also choose porn. She didn't though. There are choices. The biggest hurdle is to see what you particular problem is, then deal with it. Perhaps those in porn haven't realized yet that they have issues.
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male
reader, Yos  +, writes (11 August 2007):
 A quote from a former porn actress, Shelley Lubben:
"It’s safe to say most women who turn to porn acting as a money-making enterprise, probably didn’t grow up in healthy childhoods either. Indeed, many actresses admit they’ve experienced sexual abuse, physical abuse, verbal abuse and neglect by parents. Some were raped by relatives and molested by neighbors. When we were little girls we wanted to play with dollies and be mommies, not have big scary men get on top of us. The same horrible violations we experienced then, we relive through as we perform our tricks for you in front of the camera. And we hate every minute of it. We’re traumatized little girls living on anti-depressants, drugs and alcohol acting out our pain in front of YOU who continue to abuse us."
I guess it depends what you mean by 'choice'. :(
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male
reader, eddie +, writes (11 August 2007):
I disagree Yos. I think porn has changed. I don't think it's a great job but I'd bet most people who do it now, choose to do it. There are many terrible jobs out there. Porn is one of them. There are terrible instances of people who have had terrible lives, across the board. Some choose alcohol, drugs and many other avenues to vent. Some may choose a bad life style leading to porn. Others might be thieves. In the end it's choice. I stand by my statement, if women don't participate in porn, it dies. If people don't try to loose so much weight, weight loss products won't sell, if people stop buying big cars, they'll make small ones.
Are fast food restaurants abusing us because they pay low wages and sell fattening food? People make bad choices for many reasons. They need to figure out why. If some guy offers $1000 to some woman to have sex on film or she can go and work three weeks at a Mc Donalds to earn that, she has to decide. If she'd rather make the movie, that's a choice, no matter what made her lean that way.
One last thing. The people who labor like slaves do control the industries they're in. They just don't know it yet or have the power to control their destiny. Most people in porn do have the potential power to choose what they do. The people who labor 80 hours a week are taken advantage of, they have no where to turn. WE have options in this part of the world.
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male
reader, eddie +, writes (11 August 2007):
I disagree Yos. I think porn has changed. I don't think it's a great job but I'd bet most people who do it now, choose to do it. There are many terrible jobs out there. Porn is one of them. There are terrible instances of people who have had terrible lives, across the board. Some choose alcohol, drugs and many other avenues to vent. Some may choose a bad life style leading to porn. Others might be thieves. In the end it's choice. I stand by my statement, if women don't participate in porn, it dies. If people don't try to loose so much weight, weight loss products won't sell, if people stop buying big cars, they'll make small ones.
Are fast food restaurants abusing us because they pay low wages and sell fattening food? People make bad choices for many reasons. They need to figure out why. If some guy offers $1000 to some woman to have sex on film or she can go and work three weeks at a Mc Donalds to earn that, she has to decide. If she'd rather make the movie, that's a choice, no matter what made her lean that way.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2007): I think Eddie has incorrectly phrased his statement that women control porn. In a more general perspective, let's say men are more sexual than women far and wide.
With the above statement established, now let's look at a few individuals that I've come across in my lifetime so far. Every high-esteemed female I've come across - friends, colleagues, etc, have one way or another styled themselves in a way to attract the opposite gender, or if they are lesbians, their own. They put on a sort of short-distance barrier where "you can flirt with me, but you can't touch me (yet)" sort of thing. When I speak with them, in various conversations and such, they know that they are in control of their situations with men. They know that the various men they keep in touch with, desire them at some level for whatever reason.
Now let's look at porn in modern times. Regardless of whether the female is being abused or is willingly participating in the industry, they are a subject of attraction and desire. Even 'before' the porn industry had its makings, women had always been a focal point of men's desires.
As much as Yos had some good points about child laborers and students and factory workers and such, those points don't quite apply to this debate/discussion. Well, maybe except the student part.
You see, there is a 'weakness' in your argument: "As long as there is demand for a product, then there will be those desperate enough to produce it under abusive circumstances."
"There will be those desperate enough" - yes, indeed. There will always be those DESPERATE ENOUGH to do something under abusive circumstances, in any industry, but to say that every single woman in porn are being abused and are being objectified is very inaccurate. As opposed to being viewed as a subject of attraction, as men see in their girlfriends, wives, partners, etc.
In a perfect world controlled by Agony Aunts and Uncles where porn does not exist, men and women do not desire anything, have no ambition and no vision, then fine, a fabulous utopia. However, to bunch everyone up as one absolute ideal is again and again, IMO, simply undebatably inaccurate. It's all about pro-choice.
Like Eddie said in his last paragraph, "I would not want my daughter doing it either. I won't judge others who choose to perform though. I do question their choice but agree they should have the freedom to do it."
Keywords being "have the freedom to do it". This has nothing to do with being abused. Being abused is a completely different matter.
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male
reader, Yos +, writes (10 August 2007):
"In the end women control porn. That can not be argued. If women don't participate in porn....it dies."
Sorry Eddie, but that's absurd. Utterly.
That's like saying the indonesian child worker controls the sneaker industry and the chinese 120 hour / week factory worker controls the consumer electronics industry. Or saying that individual troops control war, or children control school...
As long as there is demand for a product, then there will be those desperate enough to produce it under abusive circumstances.
If men stopped buying porn then no one would make it because it would have no value.
Plain and simple: porn models aren't respected because they're selling themselves as a piece of meat. It's prostitution in another form.
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male
reader, eddie +, writes (10 August 2007):
I agree with martini. I also think the anonymous female aunt is once again grinding her axe and lumping all men into a big dirty pile. It's a shame she lives life with blinders on. There is no man good enough for her. In the end women control porn. That can not be argued. If women don't participate in porn....it dies. They are also the ones who control sex. Women choose when they have sex and men hope to get sex. That is the way the cookie crumbles. We can manipulate things but that is basically natures joke on men. It's like we have the fastest car in town.......but we're missing a wheel.
As for your choice of work, it's probably not the best choice, based on what our society generally views as acceptable. It is a taboo area, dealing with sex. We like to hope/believe/expect that sex is something saved for that special person. We also should realize that usually doesn't happen in todays world. We still hold on to the hope that sex is something shared with someone we love or at least desire. Porn is also the complete opposite of what is normal. Men are usually the hunters and are quite surprised when they come across a woman as enthusiastic as a porn actress. It's just not common. Really, are aspirations are quite hypocritical, for sex and love, considering the way we live in this era.
Men ans women are different, for better or worse. We have different needs and desires. We also have many in common. Many men want a modest wife in public but a horny wife in the bedroom. That is fine and understandable. Many women want a good provider, a strong man, someone to love in the bedroom. For women, the sex is derived from love. For men, sex can be, just sex. It doesn't make us shallow or less loving, just more sexual.
When you understand how society thinks, you'll understand why many people looks down on it. Many women feel threatened because the women in porn are doing all the things their husbands would enjoy. Some women feel this puts pressure on them to perform. Some men feel all women should act like porn stars. That tends to create problems in the relationship.
Society sexualizes everything. Porn is the icing on the cake. It sets false goals for stupid people who believe it is the norm. It creates hurdles for stupid people who think they have to measure up to porn. There are stupid people everywhere. Yes, porn can have you mixing with a shady crowd. So can being a bartender. You have to be wise. Porn can have you exposed to STD's. So can sleeping with strangers you meet in a bar.
What is the good a person can get from porn. Maybe it can show someone that it is possible to spice up your sex life. Even if you just decide to wear a sexy outfit. Maybe it can provide relief to someone who is not getting any other sexual contact. I do think the negatives outweigh the positives but that can be said about many things. In general, things need to be put into perspective.
I would never want to be with a porn star. It would just feel dirty. That is my opinion for me. Other men would not care. I would want my wife to save that part of herself for me. Even though it's just acting and nobody is really horny during porn, I would not want my partner in that position. I would feel like a chump. I would not want my daughter doing it either. I won't judge others who choose to perform though. I do question their choice but agree they should have the freedom to do it.
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reader, Yos +, writes (10 August 2007):
I suggest watching the film Sexy Beast (not a porn movie, it stars Ray Winstone and Ben Kingsley). The main character's wife is a former porn-model. How they treat her past in their marriage is done very well. It's also a great film.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2007): Leave it to the men to be pro porn & say it's o.k. Would you men want a serious relationship with a porn star? Could you see yourself marrying & having a porn star's children? You're only saying it's cool because you get off on it. You don't respect the women in porn. Maybe you should think of something other than your penis's feelings & give this girl some real advice. She's only 18. How would you feel if your 18 year old daughter were a porn star? Why would you encourage this young girl to degrade herself like this? She's obviously feeling bad because she came to this site for help. Men need to put themselve's in other people's shoes. They never seem to be able to, they just think about what benefits them.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2007): Who looks down on you? I mean if your a porn model, I assume all of your friends are in the same industry so I don't know why anyone would be looking down on you.
Now, if you were at Yale, or just hanging around priviledged kids, then I would understand why they would look down on you.
If you want to know why anybody looks down on that, it's just because a lot, if not most people in our society are taught that nudity, that is not artistic, and that is purely meant for sexual arousal, is not respectable. We are a society that believes in monogamy. I don't know.
Some people find it gross. Guys are actually a lot pickier than you might think. They might watch you. But they'll never touch you. Some guys, however, will sleep with anything that crawls. Is that the kind of guy you want?
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reader, redcurls1982 +, writes (10 August 2007):
maybe some people feel sorry for you because they feel you have lost your innocense. being 18 these days is not a grown up. you are just a baby and could be making a big mistake that you will have to deal with for the rest of your life.
i just wonder what makes you want to be in porn? is porn what you have always wanted to do or are you doing it because you have other deeper issues that you have not delt with.
if you enjoy your job and never feel bad about it then by all means... have fun! also you can tell people that selling your body is one of the oldest professions for women...
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reader, Uncle Trev +, writes (10 August 2007):
There is nothing wrong with what you choose to do providing it is your choice and the choice is not being made for you. Providing you can keep a level head about everything and keep the job professional keeping yourself safe in the process and not being exploited, if this is the case then go for it.
Make yourself a lot of money and retire by the age of 30.
You will probably find then that the people out there that take the moral high ground in a crusade against what you are and what you stand for are secretly jealous of your financially secure position, and what will relatively soon be a quality of life.
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reader, myp +, writes (9 August 2007):
 somenes paying you to have sex, then horny guys watch. To the general populus thats legal prostitution. Plus, you become the object of fantasy which really pisses women off, cuz there husbands and boyfriends are imagining having sex with u, not with them. You have sex with ppl u've just met or men that u have no emotional attachments to then you broadcast it, some ppl just cant handle that.
-Myesha
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2007): I think to some people it gives the impression that the only thing to can use to make yourself a living is your body - not your brain. And it's not even as if it's just normal modelling, it's having sex with random strangers in order to earn money. It's not seen as classy and you can't really respect someone who abuses sex (something which should be kept personal and intimate) and offers their body so easily.When people think of girls in porn movies, they don't think of nice, respectable girls who would make fantasic girlfriend material do they? They think of girls who seem to get off on the wrong kind of attention from men and who don't have much respect for themselves.
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reader, howcomehoney  +, writes (9 August 2007):
 As the other posters have said, it's because you're selling your body and people equate it with prostitution. It's not even so much that people look down on you: they probably think "Why isn't she doing something better with her life?"Are you happy, doing what you do? If you have a good life and a healthy self-esteem, that's the only thing that matters in the end. We make our own choices. People are always going to have opinions, but in the end, we control our own actions.
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reader, duskyrowe +, writes (9 August 2007):
 Most people look down on porn models, because its one step down from prostitution, there is nothing wrong with you its totally your choice. Maybe people especially women feel threatened by you, and think that you are portraying womanhood in a negative, sterotypical fashion, ie coming across as a bimbo,silicone boobs and legs akimbo for all the world to see. Plus you may attract the wrong kind of attention from guys,and will treat you like a piece of meat instead of a human being and thing you are EASY. There is more than one way of expressing your beauty,which doesn't mean getting your kit off, its the way you carry yourself as a woman in a positve manner, and I think people are more likely to respect you as appose to look down their noses at you.
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reader, Basschick  +, writes (9 August 2007):
 Because there are better things you could be doing with your mind (and your body). Most people look at porn stars much like they do prostitutes. So if you want people to respect you, find another career. I'm sure you are a bright individual capable of learning how to do a multitude of other things such as nursing, accounting, or teaching and you will still be able to make good money, have insurance benefits and a pension to fall back on some day.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2007): Also like HLSKitten had commented, truly our opinions shouldn't matter. I know that it's just like high school politics all over again. It's hard to not matter when so many people make it a matter, eh? [sighs]
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2007): A lot of women are victims to having their husbands look at porn and such, and feel depressed that they are no longer the sole object of their man's fantasy. Some of those same women will go to great lengths to put down the image of porn and the people associated with it.
Men who put down women and/or men in porn usually have biased, ignorant views on what they traditionally know of people in that industry. The think people in porn are dumb, stupid, unintelligent, and taking the easy route in life, etc, etc, etc.
If you search through this site alone, you will find TONS and TONS of threads debating about porn and the people in them. I for one, was debating pro-industry against an onslaught of mothers and girlfriends and wives and even the occasional religious man. The most common theme like I mentioned is that they bunch EVERYONE up into one ideal, rather than looking at the individual aspects of it all.
Check this thread out - it's very recent:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-feel-like-hes-cheating-on-me-fantasising.html
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reader, hlskitten +, writes (9 August 2007):
 Do you really care?
people will look down on lots of professions as much as porn models. Its just the way life is.
c xxxxxxxxxx
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