A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey, wonder if you can give me some advice. I've known this guy for about two years, and we've been going out for a few months. Anyway we've always been pretty good together but there's one thing that bugs me a lot about him, he smokes weed. He doesn't drink so he says that the weed helps him relax and calm down instead, otherwise he is a bit moody and angry. Anyway he has told me he loves me, but the other day I was waiting for him in a busy park when this other guy started trying to get my number etc. My boyfriend saw the other guy and blew off the handle. So on the one hand i'm thinking the weed might be helping him but I want him to stop. How can i approach him about it without making him angry with me especially so early on in our relationship??
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female
reader, confusd31  +, writes (10 August 2007):
 hello
it must be really hard for you as you sound like you really like this guy, the problem is this drug causes a range of physchiatric conditions in young males and this has been proven. The more he smokes this stuff the bigger risk he takes. There is no point giving an ultimatum unless you are willing to follow it through. So try talking to him first and figure out why he thinks he needs why does he need to relax whats winding him up.
If he is adamant that he is going to carry on smoking it and the mood swings are caused by the weed let me assure you of that then you need to move on. If you are truly opposed to this then this relationship wont work. Imagine what would happen if you went on to have children with him and he still wouldnt stop. More lives Ruined.
Be strong and good luck
A
female
reader, dont_worry  +, writes (10 August 2007):
 its hard, but weed is not helping your bf, you got to understand that, he needs to leave that habit
i know your starting with him and you are afraid to lose him, but try to give him some indirects that you dont like the fact that he smokes.
so he can understand that, and if he loves you i promise he will try to do something about this.
its not good for his health so please help him before its too late,
and if things get worse and he starts to get a little violent
then leave him, that means he doesnt deserve you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2007): I don't think you can or should want to change people your "in love" with. And if you do, then maybe he's not "the one." Why waste any more time?
BUT... if you want to give it a go. Don't be scared of him! BE SASSY. Tell him that if he wants to be with you he's got to quit smoking pot. AND stick by your guns. And mean what you say. And follow through. Be firm about it.
If he says no. Just be like, "Oh well", and leave him. Don't call him.
Guys love girls who are determined. and fearless. Trust me. He'll have so much respect for you. He'll send you flowers and beg for you back. It's your call.
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A
female
reader, Ileana +, writes (10 August 2007):
 Get rid of him darlin' if hes not willing to give up Pot for you, you shouldnt be willing to give up your freedom for him.
Love
Ileana
xxxxx
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A
male
reader, leonard j.Douglas  +, writes (10 August 2007):
The best advice anyone can give you is to dump your bf, as there really isn't any future for you staying in a losing ,Go-no-anywhere, wasting your time relationship. You would be a fool to see that he is going to give up his first love "Weed". And if you think he's bad now, you just hang around. You already know what you shoud be doing. So why don't you get out?
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A
female
reader, redcurls1982 +, writes (10 August 2007):
move on. guys who think it's ok to smoke pot now will just keep doing it later, even if they quit. people stop smoking pot when they want to... i.e., they want a better job and have to have a drug test. most of the guys i knew from high school still smoke pot and the few who have quit smoking have done so for major life changes and even then will still smoke every once in awhile.
it's hard to change someone and it's best that he quit on his own terms. you could always help him quit if he wants to but the mood swing excuse is a bit of a deal breaker, he can try meds to help stabilize his moods that are not illegal too.
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (9 August 2007):
 Hi
I would be the same as you, not happy.
Weed/skunk etc causes paranoia & mood swings so i think you will find that might be whats causing those, not the other way round. But it wouldnt be unusual for someone that smokes a lot of it to think it does them good.
It screws brain cells & thats non reversable.At least where alcohols concerned the liver can repair itself to a certain extent!
I would think twice about dating someone that takes drugs but thats just me.
I think you could approach him, but is it likely to do any good? It might be something you just have to accept he does, or find someone that doesnt.
All the best.
C xxxxxx
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