A
female
age
30-35,
*totasoccergirl1
writes:Hi. my names lindsay and im going out with a 25 year old. im only 14... but i love him and he loves me...what do u think? but if anyone finds out like in my school he could like lose everything cause hes a teacher...what do u think? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2007): I hate to put a damper on things but as a young teacher I can tell you that you would have to be at least 18 before any relationship would be considered leagal in a court of law as teachers we are subject to stricter laws, we are put in a position of trust and any relationship other than a bog standard teacher/pupil could get him registered as a paedophile.
But we are all human and it is quite possible that he does love you, but by returning his love you could land him in a lot of trouble that has the potential to ruin him..... If you really love him see if you can put it aside untill you are 18....If he really loves you the relationship should stand.... If not you might find he loses interest quickly which will only mean that you have dodged a bullet.
If you love him leave it for his sake and if he moves on to someone else report his sorry ass.
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female
reader, Memorial_Address  +, writes (12 August 2007):
 fight for your love men! If he truly proves he loves you then don't back off... As they say, age doesn't matter in love... Well,good for you since you got what you want... I'm also 14 and I love a teacher in school aged 26... Hit me back! Can you pls. how the two of you got together and who did the first move?tnx! I also need advice!
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female
reader, Love_is_all_youu_need  +, writes (5 August 2007):
 I know since you're underage for a relationship with an older man - i shouldn't be of any encouragement to you, but i can't help but be so! And at the same time, a little jealous! I am soooo mad about a drop-dead gawjus teacher, i'm gonna tell him before i leave school - Though I have my doubts that he'll feel the same way!
But Hun, it is illegal and he could lose everything as you say! Insisting that the pair of you break up, in your situation... is probably not the response you want, is it? Some people just don't fully understand! I reckon you should keep on this relationship but be extremely careful and save your snogs and other doings, for OUT OF school premises where no-one is around - Somewhere you can have some privacy! Don't make it obvious at school, maybe have slight eye contact but no more, otherwise this could end up in a seriously risky situation! There are other methods, such as; to prospone your relationship for two years as then you'll be 16 and therefore it will be legal. But still, you'll need to disguise this as, if found out people may judge you for it, most likely have disapproval from parents and if he's got a gf or wife then she may get hurt! So hun, whatever you both decide - please just be careful! Gud luck xx
P.s. Could you message me back please and tell me how you got with him? And who made the first move? - I really need some guidance on how to get my hands on the teacher who i need in my life! xx Thank youu xx
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female
reader, lovehate +, writes (1 August 2007):
 Sweetie what a young teenage girl and a 25 yr old man wants is COMPLETELY different. Too be honest it is hard to love someone that much older at such a young age. I hope NOTHING sexual is going on between you because that is against the law and is disgusting. NO SECRETS-AT ALL HUNNI, SECRETS IN A RELATIONSHIP LIKE THIS IS PEDOPHILIA IF NO ONE ELSE KNOWS. Get out now, i know you may be heartbroken later but it's SO for the best. Go out with someone your age.
I hope this helped, and i know it's harsh, sorry. X
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male
reader, Uncle Trev +, writes (29 July 2007):
This is a crazy situation. Firstly if you are sure this is more than a schoolgirl fantasy and this relationship is actually happening it is highly dangerous. Something like this cannot be kept a secret forever and when somebody finds out about it there will be trouble all around.
He will be instantly dismissed and probably sent to prison, and you will most probably be sent to another school.
This relationship assuming it is one is highly immoral, un-professional, a betrayal of trust, and in this country it is considered statutary rape.
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female
reader, angel-kate +, writes (29 July 2007):
 i hate to tell you this as you both love eachother, but what a teenage girl wants and want a 25 yr old man wants is to completely different things! 9yrs is a very very big age gap when so young. my advise is to split up before anything happens. what if he wants to have sex or somehting? can u see where im going with this?
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reader, Butterflyfly +, writes (28 July 2007):
 How do you know he loves you.. this is such a dangerous situation for noth of you and it will end up ungly... if he really loved you he would have thought at the consequences and advised you to cool off or something and meet up when you're older.. but has he done that? there is no space for ifs and buts here.. he is a pedophile
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2007): Stop this relationship. It was so dangerous to start anyway due to the circumstances of him being a teacher in your school but it seems as if you knew that already. You might say that you love him but it's probably just a crush. Also i doubt that he loves you. If you end up getting sexually involved with him it could get him into more trouble. Just stop seeing him and move on. Find someone your own age.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2007): No, no, no, no, no - a thousand times NO! When this gets out - and it will - he'll lose his job and the two of you will end up in court, you as a witness, him as the accused in the dock. Do you really want all the publicity this will attract? The papers won't name you but everyone at school will know. Could you put up with all the gossip?
This has absolute Disaster - with a capital 'D' - written all over it for both of you.
Phil
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female
reader, AskingCupid  +, writes (28 July 2007):
Firstly, you are very sensible to ask for further opinion regarding your current relationship situation. I can assure you that this is NOT fine. I absolutely agree with Frank Kermit. When teachers are admitted into the profession they understand that they will be in a position of authority of over young people like yourself, and they agree to NOT take advantage of this position. The man you love is doing something VERY wrong. It is ok to love him, but it needs to be a love from afar, a crush. I am hoping that this is in no way a sexual relationship. IF it is then you need to stand up from your computer RIGHT NOW and tell someone older that you trust. If you can talk to your parents then please tell them, otherwise a trusted family member or another teacher at the school, a female teacher. If the relationship is more of a friendship, then it is still wrong, not as seriously wrong but you STILL need to confide in someone as soon as possible. For your own sake, please tell him that even though you are in love, you cannot see him anymore in a relationship sense. He may then form a 'relationship' with another child at your school. Do you understand why you need to tell someone? That is because what this man is doing is very wrong and he needs to stop doing this to ANY child. When you are older, you will look back on this and understand what I am saying. I care about you and the children at your school, so PLEASE tell someone. All you need to do is tell the truth and trust that whatever happens to his career etc will be decided upon by adults who want you and other children to be safe. IF you are indeed just 'friends' then it will all just blow over with defining some boundaries etc, but if this is sexual then he is committing a crime and it is up to you to be the brave hero in this story. I know you will do the right thing. Take care.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2007): keep it a secret if u love him... k????
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2007): stay away for this man. he s not acting normal given 1) the age difference (25 does not go with a 14y old) 2) his duties as a teacher to you, his pupil. he does not seem sound in his mind because he s breaching moral, legal and professional barriers. I understand you like him, but my advice is really to stay away from him as he may abuse you in the sense of getting you to do things which are not of your age, or not at least with a man 11years older than you. Sorry to speak bluntly but I indeed believe he is a pedophile or very close therto.
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reader, Andy00 +, writes (28 July 2007):
 I'd say you are on shaky ground. Dating this guy just isn't worth it, because to the outside world, the idea of this 25 year old TEACHER dating a 14 year old is pretty horrifying. While you may think that you love him and he loves you, you're just a child. It could be that you think you are grown up enough to know what love is and that you're able to trust a man like that, but from the perspective of people on the outside, it is something that you should get out of right away.It doesn't matter how get out, just do it. Have you tried talking to your parents about this? If you ask me, if possible, these are the ones to talk to, and will probably help do what's best for you. If this man is serious about you two being together, he can surely wait until such time where you're old enough and there's no risk of him losing his job or being put in jail.
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reader, tweetytoby11  +, writes (28 July 2007):
 First,I wouldnt be to sure if he really loves you i mean what would a 25 grown man want with a child? You are to young to be bothering with such an older man anyway. Be a child and if you do want a boyfriend try someone your age you dont know what love really is i barly know and im way older. Second you should never mess with a teacher that is just trouble all over it. but if you want to talk about anyting else you can just write me im here to help..one love
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reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (28 July 2007):
 I think he is a pheophile, and that you are too young to understand why that is such a bad thing. I wonder how many other students of his he plans to risk his entire career on...do you think you are the first? Do you think you will be the last. He should be arrested.
-FBK
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reader, i might be a girl but i can help +, writes (28 July 2007):
 as long as nothing sexual has happened you are fine, something like that won't be able to be kept secret. and why can't he wait till when you are sixteen and when you have finished at that school. it just doesn't seem right but if u r happy with him just be careful please
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reader, Michelley-ox +, writes (28 July 2007):
 if he means that much to you why wont he wait until you are at the legal age of sixteen. if it is true love then you should both be able to wait. age difference doesnt really make any difference to how you feel about each other. but as you arent sixteen it is more of a problem people may tell you that you shouldnt be with him and it is wrong. thats just their opinions most of them probably havent ever been in your possition and dont understand how you feel. if you are in love with this man then that fine but dont do anything with him until you are legally 16 and ready. it is not worth sending him to jail. x
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