A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I often hear men (and some women) claim that porn is ok for men within relationships because they are 'visual' and only seeking thrills....etcIf this is the case and these people like to stereotype then the other side of this argument is that women are romance based.So my question is this;If its ok for men to meet visual and sexual needs through porn and outside of their relationship then surely its ok for married women to date and go on romantic outings with other men to have their romance 'needs' met..To the people who will be quick to say...oh but porn is not real, YES IT IS. they are real people and porn viewing men are gettting all aroused over them, rather than their partner..Im not talking sex on these outings, just meeting a womans natural need to be desired, respected and adored...Surely no man who uses porn would have a problem with this. After all he is meeting his needs through getting off on women other than his partner, right.
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female
reader, noonespecial2 +, writes (15 July 2009):
There is some good reading on the web about porn. Doing a search on sexual addiction puts it all into perspective.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2009): Noonespecial - you rock!!!! I've read all these posts too and even some of the aunts/uncles who have been on here a long time have showed their bias towards porn and bereated the OP. I love what you have written, it makes a lot of sense to me. You are right, it is about values but always there are slanging matches on here between the males/females. I love the part too where you say about men at the start of a relationship hiding their porn and being, shall we say, less than truthful, then expecting us to embrace it when they decide to "come clean" about it. At the start of my relationship, I made it very clear of my dislike of porn. He made out he didn't like it. I argued until I was blue in the face with his porn loving friend and my bf just kept quiet, and only jumped in to tell us to shut up when I accused his friend of seeing all women as tits and fanny because of his porn viewing!! He still didn't admit to watching it at this point. It was only later when we were having sexual difficulties, that his best friend told me that my bf did indeed "love" porn and had his own collection, but binned it when we got together!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If it's so cool and normal and nice, then why the hell did he bin it??????? I didn't even know about it at that point!!! What does that say??? So, I am now into this relationship over several years and now I have to "compromise" with him because he wants to watch it and I think it's wrong. I don't want to split with him because I love everything else about him (apart from this one thing). So, if all you porn lovers want to watch porn, then be honest at the start of your relationship, find someone else who loves porn, then bobs your uncle and fanny is your aunt, you can happily spend the rest of your lives clanging one off together on the sofa watching your porn dvds and whatever else you need to awaken your libido!!! Or, if your partner at this stage says she doesn't like it, then you can go your separate ways and low and behold, we'll never have another question about porn issues on this site. If porn turns men into liars, just so they can continue to watch it, then that says it all to me really.
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female
reader, noonespecial2 +, writes (14 July 2009):
I'm not sure if I see things the same. There are some Women who dislike porn and there are some Women like it. There are also some men who are into porn and some Men who aren't. I feel sad that there seems to be such a battle of the sexes. I believe it's more about people having different values rather than any particular sex being right or wrong. Even more accurately how this issue is communicated. There seems to be a lot of put downs to one another. The Men feel put down by Women saying they need to grow up etc... and the Women feel put down by being called insecure, both comments unhelpfull and do shit all to solve any issue. Thinking that it is Men versus Women, someone being wrong or right is only going to maintain the resentment between the sexes and I find that sad as Men and Women are both valuable human beings and the truth of the matter most of us want a partner to love and respect us. I believe it is more about understanding where each other is coming from. I challenge you to do a search on pornography and read about some of the Men who have lost there wives through this. It is sad reading and a very real reality.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2009): Porn is a difference in how men and women are built, pure and simple. Men are wired more visually.
Some people (mostly women) claim that this is just a bullshit excuse and men need to grow up. But just the very fact that it has become such a sticking point should indicate what a natural difference it really is. Men and women just don't have battles this size over issues that we both feel & understand equally.
Women angry about mens porn habits will often say "Oh yeah, well let's see how you'd like it if I was ogling hot men every day!" I think it would be very interesting to see that bluff called more often. I think women would be surprised how much less of a meltdown a lot of men would have over it than they are expecting. And this is exactly the point, men and women really don't react and interpret porn the same way no matter what the circumstances.
I think women tend to make the foregone assumption that men would react just as badly (as women do on average) if they were forced to take a dose of their woman ogling other men. (Other men IN THE MEDIA, not in real life.) But women are usually so much less into porn by nature that this assumption usually doesn't get tested. My point is that I think men sometimes get convicted of a severe hypocracy about porn whether they deserve it or not.
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female
reader, noonespecial2 +, writes (13 July 2009):
I think a similar comparison would be if a wife gets another Man to buy something for her.
Objectifying Women sexually, objectifying Men financially.
I have read through all of the comments and there is some food for thought. It is sad when comments become personal attacks, it would be a better exercise to try to understand one another.
I do have a slight problem with Women being called insecure if they don't like porn. I don't believe it's accurate to call someone insecure if they have a different set of values to someone else. If my Man had a problem with me swearing, is he insecure? of course not! It's all about values. I don't believe it's helpful to judge or put down anyone's values. Wouldn't it be more about Women feeling disappointed in their Man for lowering his values when she was led to believe something opposite. There are other Women as witnessed in these responses who don't have a problem with their Man viewing porn, why not pursue someone who has the same values.
I think the porn situation should be discussed at the commencement of a relationship, yet unfortunately Men tend to hide this as they fear rejection from the potential partner. So there's not only a disappointment there's deception and manipulation also. This is what I find so disturbing, how the partner is often led to believe that their partner is more sophisticated that he made out.
Everyone has their own values and opinions and that's about being free to be yourself.
I believe that the question may have been trying to get people to understand the underlying feelings. The feelings a Man may feel in the scenario given may be similar to how a Women who's partner does hide and watch porn would feel and that being a form of betrayal and unfaithfulness.
Once again upon who's interpretation would one determine unfaithfulness and betrayal? the person themselves of course, so if a Man watches porn and his partner feels betrayed and that he is acting unfaithful, I don't see the point in him saying she shouldn't feel that way, wouldn't that be a form of control? If I give my Man a massage and he says it tickles or is too hard, do I say no it's not?
People feel what they feel, have their own meanings of betrayal, unfaithfulness and values and I don't believe it's useful to tell someone who they should be. Some people may consider kissing and fondling a form of betrayal and end the relationship over that, whereas others may not have a problem with it at all. Same could be said for swinging...
It is clear that some Women feel very hurt by this type of behaviour and the most saddest part for me is that their partner doesn't care. For example, I'm a smoker, my partner doesn't mind it, yet if he felt he was being betrayed and was hurt about it, I wouldn't say, no you don't, you don't have any right to, I wouldn't want him feeling that way and would give it up. I may not understand his feelings yet they are real to him and that's all that matters.
I get the feeling that some Men get defensive about this topic (that goes for Women too) and with sincerity, was wondering if it's because you feel put down, sleazy, superficial, that you're being controlled, or something else. I relate Men's need for sexual intimacy to Women's need for emotionally intimacy and wonder if you feel that there is some form of rejection happening when your partner feels betrayed because of your porn watching. I don't fully understand and would appreciate some clarification. Maybe it is just diffrent values!!! It would be great for Men to speak about how they feel when this happens...
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male
reader, GrimmReality  +, writes (10 July 2009):
 LMAO.......
You go Blondy!!!!!!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2009):
Porn is not interactive. Porn is not personal. It does not cause the man to feel desired or complimented. It does not open the door to weigh others against the spouse except for a 100% imaginary thing.
If you want a better comparison, then women should be allowed to eavesdrop on other strangers who are on dates.
And we do allow this. We always have. It's romantic fiction in books or on TV.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2009): I dont think its ok for women to go out with outer men if their partners watch porn, but it is ok to seek attention and flirt with other guys if your man is getting hot over women in porn....if he'd rather give his horny attention over porn then you go get some hirny attention elsewhere honey...no problem, just dont cross the line to physical...men always tell us, its only looking so they wont mind anitehr man only looking at you.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2009): I hate porn, but girl... it's just NOT the same.You know romantic comedies, romantic drama, romance novels? That's similar to porn. It doesn't give you a sexual response, but it sure gives you an emotinal one. Who hasn't watched a romantic flick and thought "I wish [partner's name] would do that every once in a while!", while you're in tears because of the emotional response! Exactly! It's not sexual, but it's emotional... it's similar honey.I'm against porn, but THIS IS NOT THE SAME. Men aren't feeling "desired", they are "desiring" other women when they watch porn, but these women don't "desire" your man. Whereas if you went on a date to feel "desired", it'd be different. You'd be the "desiree", the porn watcher would be a "desirer"... desiree IS NOT THE SAME as desirer... and now I'm making up words!Sorry, honey, but women like you make other women look like psychos, and in the battle of the sexes, we end up losing because of attitudes like this. /lol
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2009): Sounds like you need an excuse.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2009): TWO wrongs do not make it right.i know you want to justify yourself with this thinking, maybe something has really happened in your life and you want to vent or is this just a random question? either way, i don't know why this is such a big hoo ha here. if you read other posts some/most(?) of the aunts and uncles here have liberal views about 'cheating/infidelity" and mostly it is condoned. your question has opened up a can of worms. makes for very interesting reading. lots of valid points here but some emotional ones too. controversial suggestion: we always say everything in moderation. so, porn in moderation and a little bit of cheating in moderation??? ignore my suggestion, it is sick!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2009): Totally TOTALLY wrong! Men aren't going out and PHYSICALLY meeting those people, the MARRIED women would be! -That is so wrong, how can you date another person when you're married.
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male
reader, Your friend +, writes (5 July 2009):
 Why can't they hold hands while he watches porn that way they will both be happy (just thought we need to lighten this up a bit)
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female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (5 July 2009):
 A better comparison would be "if men watch porn, can women read erotica?" Certainly less chance of going on a bad date with that angle.
I am really amused by the "brainwashed by a misogynistic society" comment. There's nothing wrong with being aroused by a fantasy, whether visual, aural or literary. And really, what makes porn so different from, say, slash fanfiction (which is written and enjoyed by many women)? Not to mention it's not feminist to dismiss a woman who enjoys visual fantasies as insecure. THAT is misogynistic.
The business of porn can be very degrading...but the concept of porn is not.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2009): A comeback? Oh I'm sorry I didn't know I though was debating with an adult, not arguing with a little kid lol, coz u know I wouldn't wanna go around labeling people, insulting and imposing blind justification on people like you did. Your silent response to anything I've commented on whether to show clarification to OP or to you is probably your best response yet.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2009): well Jasonx, since the best comeback you have is pointing out a typo that pretty much say touche to me I guess ....
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2009): Yeah...it has nothing to do with the woman's body as in the woman that is being viewed on screen...which goes into the a reasons as to why men watch porn in such a marriage, reasons that myself and others have stated. Once again, my point as well as everyone else has been ignored.
Me blame the woman? Where ever once did I say that? My whole argument was based on the fact that the comparison of watching porn isn't equivalent to a woman seeking romance. But if that is indeed your equivalent then well...good luck in your relationship! If that is good for you, then good for you, so be it, but excuse you, don't come here and put words in my mouth and bend what I say (completely missing the point of what I said) in your epic battle against this "misogynistic society"...a word that you can't seem to spell but you insist that I don't know what it is. TOUCHE!
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A
male
reader, Beingblack  +, writes (5 July 2009):
 This is actually a great question, but it only highlights the massive difference in the way that most women and men perceive porn.
The sex market is generally run by men, and most porn is aimed at men. Women on the whole seem to range between hating porn, or being indifferent, while a few really enjoy it. But the reasons why men watch porn more frequently have been covered a hundred times here. Let's make it 101 for the sake of argument.
Firstly, for all the porn haters and insecure partners with fidelity issues, porn can never beat the real thing. I imagine that if you find your partner in front of a computer one night with some xxx rated site on display that divorce would be high on the agenda. After all, he's getting off over another woman, isn't he. Almost like he is being unfaithful,right? Wrong.
Women see the female pornstar body with huge fake breasts, blonde dyed hair, and long slender limbs on the screen. What they don't seem to see is that the 'actress' is having boring sex, trying to keep her hair out of her face, smiling in between the oooohhhhs and aaaahhhhs, and generally trying to get a good review for her future in the business. Oh yeah, and I forgot there is usually some supposedly well hung hunk with bulging muscles trying to look interested and remain hard while the camera rolls.
And women perceive THAT as a threat to their marriage?
Men get aroused easily. VERY easily. Porn tries to do that, and I guess has a measure of success.
Now most women on the other hand, take a little more time to become sexually aroused. The female arousal mechanism is fabulous, and complicated, and scary and powerful. That's why porn is aimed at men. Men are easy.
Now where in all of that, does a man who watches porn actually meet the pornstar? (By the way, is the pornstar the male or female?).
Men who watch porn don't do so to see the women, (or the men??). They get off on the ACTION. You know, the man on top, behind, beside, underneath or whatever doing stuff to the actress who stares at the camera and clearly feels very little if anything, despite her surround sound moaning. It's not even sexy when you think about it, is it. But it arouses men. And you know what men do when they get aroused ....
I am not a porn watcher. But I accept that many men are. Ms Anonymous needs to see that the comparison between male 'visual and sexual needs' and female 'romantic' needs is tenuous at best. Doesn't she think that females have visual and sexual needs too? Or that men have romantic needs? If the real problem is that she fears unfavourable comparison to some pornstar actress, then she has serious self esteem issues.
There must be some fantastic people who are actresses in the porn business. But like most men on the planet, I never have and never will meet them.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2009): I feel real frustration in your post. I think what you really want is for your husband to feel the pain that he is causing you, because he refuses to look at it from you view point....I am sure he probably can't.
Porn has become a very distructive force in many marriages these days. You however, cannot change your husband, only he can do that. It sounds like he does not want to give up porn, this leaves you only three choices :
1. You stay with him and the porn and you become more and more unhappy. You will probably argue with him over this and the fighting will tear the two of you apart.
2. You leave and find someone who can see what porn really does in some relationships and agrees not to use it (yes, there are men like this).
3. You stay with your husband and ignore his porn watching. You see a therapist to vent your overwhelming feelings this causes.
I'm sorry to hear of yet another relationship that porn is causing turmoil in.
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female
reader, Blondy +, writes (5 July 2009):
 Seriously, female anonymous, did you read your own comment before posting it? Are you saying that it is wrong of men to find ANYONE attractive outside of their partner? I mean, you did say:
"If our men are interested in other womens bodies we are interested in finding other men interested in ours...."
So a man being turned on by a PICTURE of a pretty naked women is the same as a woman going out and trying to find an actual human in real life to appreciate your body? Is that what you are saying? Yeah you talk about the double standard. It is human nature to be turned on by people you find attractive, just because you are in a relationship doesn't mean your eyes stop working and you will forever and always only be attracted to your one and only, right?
I don't think this falls into the category of looking outside the relationship for sexual fulfillment, it is nothing more than a movie. The double standard is you thinking men looking at porn is 'the same' as a women getting into an actual relationship with a real person they know, actual physical intimacy with a new person. Why can't a woman just go watch porn and look at the men's bodies? That, to me, would be the same and eliminate the double standard people like you create.
"one has obviously been brainwashed by our mysogynistic society and agreed with the men and the other one could clearly see that this is as simple as whats good for the goose is good for the gander..."
If you really believed this, you would say a man watching porn to look at the women is the same as a women looking at porn for the mens bodies. Right? He is watching a movie, he isn't going out and finding these women, he is simply looking. Now, if you think looking with your eyes and having actual contact with a human is the same you are...I don't even know what you are. But you're wrong.
As for saying ANY woman with a man who watches porn looks elsewhere for men to pay attention to her, that is also false. My boyfriend watches porn, and I watch it with him, I like it. I don't get all pissy and try and get other men to hit on me to make me feel better. I feel comfortable with myself and my relationship and I really don't care that he sees other women naked and he doesn't care that I see other mens penises. So again you are wrong, close-minded, and very ignorant. ANY woman? Because you know ALL women in the world don't you? But hey, what do you expect from someone who thinks the only women who find porn ok have been brainwashed by our misogynistic society?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2009): Jasonx you have completely contradicted yourself. On the one hand saying that men watch porn has nothing to do with the woman, and on the other hand accusing me and the OP of not satisfying our partners so they have to watch porn...make your mind up. If your gonna blame the woman for a man watching porn, dont come on here and say it has nothing to do with the wife....
and BTW yes we do live in a mysogynistic society , perhaosps if you spent a little time studying gender issues you'd understand that
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2009): Actually you seem to be missing the point of everything both women and men are saying here...if not, ignoring it all together. You clearly don't even understand why guys in a marriage would watch porn but you think its because of the woman's body. Hey if you or anyone don't like their spouses watching porn and you have to resort to cheating then I don't even see why you should be in a relationship with that person anyway.
I mean you or the OP obviously feel unfulfilled likewise clearly aren't satisfying the bf/husband since he has to go watch porn. Hmm sad. But I guess for you to feel like that your husband or bf watches porn and ignores you altogether. Oh well good luck trying to fight against the "misogynistic society" while ignoring the core problem.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2009): funny how all the men answered no this is not right...lol.they feel its ok for them to look outside the relationship for fulfillment but not for women to do the same...Talk about the old double standard...but hey what do you expect from guys who watch porn.
of the two women who responded one has obviously been brainwashed by our mysogynistic society and agreed with the men and the other one could clearly see that this is as simple as whats good for the goose is good for the gander...
Come on fellas , you cant expect to have it all your way...if you want to use other women for sexual fulfillment then expect your women to do exacty the same
Believe me , ANY woman who is with a porn watcher seeks attention and compliments from other men...Garanteed. It doesnt nmatter what they say. If our men are interested in other womens bodies we are interested in finding other men interested in ours....
The excitment over the novelty of an unknown womans body that you have when you look at porn is something you can no longer give us...but other men get as excited over us as you do about the women in porn...Why shouldnt we enjoy this if you do?
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female
reader, Blondy +, writes (5 July 2009):
This is so far beyond ridiculous. Watching porn is the same as dating?....I don't think so. First of all, its not just men that watch porn, women do it too! *Gasp* Shocker I know, but its true. Talk about sterotyping. Secondly, yes the people in porn are real and they are having real sex. WITH EACHOTHER! So what? THEY are having sex with EACHOTHER, not with your husband. Your husband is not having sex with anyone other than you, and his hand. So his hand is the third party where he is getting his sexual gratification from instead of you. Is that porns fault? No, that is between the two of you not having sex with eachother. He uses porn to stimulate his mind so it will make him orgasm faster when he masturbates, thats it. Pretty simple? Obviously not for you.
Believe it or not porn is a movie! It is ACTORS having sex. He is 'meeting his needs' by watching a movie. So for your comparison to make any sort of sense you would have to say "Is it ok for me to watch a movie of 2 actors on a romantic date?" That makes sense because that is what your husband is doing: watching a movie. For you to go out on a romantic date to 'meet your needs' would be like saying its ok for him to go have sex with someone else to 'meet his needs' Is that ok?
Its very obvious that your relationship is not doing so well, so I suggest you work on it instead of blaming porn and trying to justify cheating. If you can't work things out, then leave your husband and then go date other men. Don't just stay married, despise your husbands porn watching and go cheat. Also, everyone knows you wouldn't just go out on your little date, be all cuddley and cute and romantic, and then end it with absolutely nothing else happening. Its clear you want to cheat so its either you go cheat or one of 2 other options:
1. Work on your relationship with your husband and try to fix it.
2. End the relationship and find someone who will better suit your romantic needs.
Stop using porn as a scapegoat for why your relationship isn't working. Porn is a film of naked people having sex, thats it! Your husband is horny so he watches it, why is he horny? Probably because you guys aren't having sex. Why aren't you having sex? I don't know. I don't know you guys so I don't know the problem but there is obviously something going wrong. Fix that with your husband or leave. Don't go date other men while your husband sits at home and watches porn. Are you not being romantic with him? Are you being romantic with him and he's not responding? Is this nothing more than a lack of communication? Something is wrong in your relationship for you to ask a question like this, so I suggest you work on it together. Or if it is not able to be fixed, leave and start over.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2009): This is a ridiculas dilema. Watching porn and going on a date is completely different. When guys watch porn they are not interacting with the person are they, its basically just watching TV.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2009): No it's not the same thing, it's a completely irrational comparison actually.
In your hypotethical generalization then a romance movie like "Twilight" or "Titanic" would be the equivalent of porn for women.
As GinsengMeow said beautifully if you're against it then stay away from those that watch it or you could learn to accept it, easy choice.
"Porn is real" I suppose Edward Cullen is really a vampire too. Only the physical part of porn is real, believe it or not it's all scripted and acted out.
Your comparison is illogical, if you want to use porn as an excuse to emotionally cheat on your boyfriend, then it's not a very good one.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2009): As a woman, I agree completely that if a man can have his needs met through porn, then a woman should be able to have her romantic needs met through a third party as well. If your husband isn't meeting your romantic needs, then, yes... your marriage may be on the rocks.
Men just expect women to be ready whenever they are, and the fact of the matter is that women need romance and wooing in order to feel the urge to make love. You may love your husband dearly, but if he's not satisfying you romantically then take charge and go get what you need. He's doing it. If he gets upset, just make sure he understands that HE isn't meeting your needs, and that it's not just a one way street.
Emotional connections are just as important to women as sexual gratification is to men. Porn might as well just be "The Other Woman" because it accomplishes the same thing. Talk to your husband. Make sure he understands. Be tough. Try counseling. I don't want to say it, but if things don't change or you don't come to some sort of agreement, consider ending the relationship. He's not worth it if he's not making you happy.
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male
reader, rcn +, writes (5 July 2009):
 So, you're saying women can find men to agree to a romantic outing, with no present or future possibility of physical contact? I believe trust would become a big issue, if this were true. A man who watches porn, doesn't have the availability of physical contact with those on the screen. A woman being romanced and desired without physical contact, but it is available would be more tempted to cross those boundaries. If that were to happen, should her husband excuse such behavior.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2009): Men do that usually it is because their spouse is not in the mood. Its a basic instinct in men to just want sex whenever they feel like with their spouse but ofc a woman should not have to put out if she doesn't feel like. I'm pretty sure women have refused their male lover erotic pleasure at some point. Porn does involve real people but it is still only watching, not interacting and sharing an emotional connection with someone.
Sharing a romantic outing with someone else, usually implies physical contact since it is a similar act to dating. You'd find it rare for a wife to encounter a male who will share the same view as her to just fill a "romantic need"...undoubtedly the male will want some sort of sexual interaction as well. I dunno how you can rly compare this to porn...the only relation being that it is a "need" being fulfilled.
But a much better comparison would be if a woman wants to have a romantic outing to fulfill her need, then it is only fair for the male to find a partner for sex instead of porn right? That is a much better comparison.
I would wonder why would any woman want to think like this. Seems like an unsuccessful marriage, or a rocky road taking place at the moment...you shouldn't really stereotype people or deem them hypocrites just because of their choices to allow their spouse or bf to watch porn just because your relationship is having issues. I have to say though most women that can deal with their lover watching porn and accepting it, have a much smoother relationship than those you can not accept it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2009): And what are you doing to help him meet his needs?
Ultimately, you choose the battles you want, regardless of the reasons behind the paths you take. If your man is doing something that makes you uncomfortable and upset constantly and consistently, then your next most viable choice is to leave him.
If my lover does something to lower the 'standards' of our relationship, regardless of my possible emotional obligations, logic along with conviction will allows me to step away from this relationship without ever lowering my own principles. Only when we choose to continue a relationship with someone that makes us feel badly constantly, do we allow others to kill us. Key words: "allow others".
If you step away from him, you will no longer "allow him" to do anything to upset you.
If my lover cheated on me, it does not automatically dictate that I will cheat on my lover. If my lover is paranoid and checks up on me using unethical means, it does not automatically mean I will counter that with my own series of unethical means.
Some women can see pass the surface of men using porn, others like you cannot. You cannot accept this, then do not accept this behavior to happen. Therefore, do not accept men that adopt to this behavior.
We all choose our own battles. No one is to blame but ourselves. If you let others control your happiness, then you are the one that instigated the allowance.
The world's 'culture' is very broad. Traditional ideals may not necessarily hold ground over time through the future. Surely, in a population of roughly 6.8 billion humans, you can find a few hundred men that would fit your idea of a 'good' lover.
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male
reader, fergiepunk +, writes (5 July 2009):
no it's not right. For one you're completely stereotyping here. What makes men only want porn? Many females watch it too and what of the other situation for men? You're comparing something which is a slight perv like attitude in comparison to something that is the start of relationships. Yes porn actors are people but they are recordings of people.
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