A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:This guy that I'm dating has dated a much older woman in the past. I don't usually bring up past relationships for this very reason but it somehow came out and never did I think he would have dated 25 years older than him.(he's 25).I tried to maintain my composure but I was shocked by the information. I instantly found myself less attracted to him but I don't want to be. He was embarrassed after telling me, which then made me feel bad about reacting almost negatively. I didn't say anything about it I just shut down, couldn't think of what to say...should I be concerned? I don't know what to think of a guy who has been with someone my mother's age... Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2011): So what!
Most of my men friends have been much younger. If someone is attracted to someone the so be it regardless of their age
many older woemn are more attractive than many younger girls
as long as no one gets hurt live and let live
A
female
reader, TEM +, writes (2 February 2011):
 What's a big deal to some is nothing to others. I have to say 25 years is a big age difference, so I don't think it is odd that this shocked you. You are in the "getting to know him" stage of a relationship. This is a period where we evaluate. You may be wondering what he could possibly have in common with someone so much older.
You were immediately less attracted to him. You shut down. Do you know what bothers you about this? Do you know why you think less of him for having had such a relationship? That's really all that matters. It doesn't matter if 10 people think it's the greatest thing ever, and another 10 think it's disgusting. It only matters what you think.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (2 February 2011):
 So he messed around with a cougar. She probably trained him better than any of his younger gals. My fella also had a few brief trysts with older women and liked their sexual and emotional confidence.
It's okay to feel a little icky about it, but it's perfectly normal that he dated someone older. Good luck, sweet!
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A
male
reader, Patriot +, writes (2 February 2011):
Yeah, I dunno why "MILF" has become a part of our culture. I blame an aging group of baby boomers who want something young and fresh. But who knows? In any case, it is pretty yucky.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2011): That would bother me too but on the other hand why not. It happens. we are all human,he might have just needed that mother figure at that time.He is with you now so forget it if you can.
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A
male
reader, thruxton +, writes (2 February 2011):
 Talking about past relationships is a dangerous thing. Our egos are very sensitive, apparently. Obviously, if you think about it, what he told you is no big deal. If he likes you and is faithful to the relationship then that is all that matters. It's not as if you have never dated men either, right, so take a deep breath and let it go =)
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A
male
reader, kenny  +, writes (2 February 2011):
 At the end of the day you would be hard pushed to date anyone that does not come with some sort of past, infact unless someone has been living under a rock for the last 10 years i would say its unavoidable. So his last partner was 25 years his senior, that is now in the past, finished, water under the bridge. If you want this relationship to work out you have got to consentrate on the now, not the was. So there was abit of an age gap, so what, let it go and get on with your lives.
Good luck
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (2 February 2011):
I'm dating a woman older than me. It's not done me any harm at all. In fact, it's made me a better guy. It's probably done the same for the guy you're dating.
I don't see any reason to be concerned at all about his behaviour. But if this is something you can't deal with, set him free now and let him find someone who can deal with it.
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A
female
reader, Blonde68 +, writes (2 February 2011):
I think it was just a phase he was going through. Some guys, for one reason or another, have this fantasy about dating an older woman... so what, he tried it! He isn't the first guy to try it out and most certainly won't be the last.
That is the past now hun, and he has chosen to be with you.... surely that is all that matters. Please try not to think any less of him.
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A
female
reader, viccra78 +, writes (2 February 2011):
Hate to say it but that is YOUR problem. Would it make you feel better if he said that he slept with 30 different women?
It's in the past and what's done is done. He can't change it.
You need to decide if this is really going to be an issue for you and if it is then you need to move on.
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