A
female
age
30-35,
*ijackedheart
writes:I've just broke up from a short relationship problem is i lost my virginity to him im 17 and i thought he was special we broke up on monday and it was last night (saturday) and hese already found someone. I keep crying and i don;t know wether its because i gavehim my virginity , or i feel used or if i did love him and im hurt. help asap :).
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2009): You know what's funny? A girl lost her virginity to me and cheated on me. Sometimes it isn't easy as people think in such different ways. You just have to be careful. He isn't worth to think about.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (21 September 2009):
Oh dear. I am sorry. There's onyl one thing I can say and that is there are other guys who aren't so rubbish and they'll treat you with far more respect. You can't undo the past, but you can make sure you don't let this happen again. Go and find a nice guy instead.
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A
female
reader, Rose_red_09 +, writes (20 September 2009):
Yep - unfortunately, guys of a certain age just want one thing - as as we have to deal with so much emotion, it's so unfair how some guys can just move on without a care in the world. It's so hurtful and of course you want to cry and it's natural to feel crappy.
But as others have said - the first time is very rarely someone you are going to spend the rest of your life with and it was a choice you made. So - now take this experience and realise how you feel when you are intimate with someone - take time next time in deciding if you want to have sex or not with a guy.
Give yourself some time now - keep busy etc and use this as a learning process. He is the loser here - NOT you.
Take care
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A
male
reader, koenig +, writes (20 September 2009):
I'm sorry, on behalf of this arsehole, I'm sorry.
Unfortunately at your age, our age, a lot of guys are just looking for sex. Definitely not all guys, plenty are perfectly honourable. However, you've got to make sure that you don't fall for the arseholes.
In short, my advice for the future is to wait for a while (at least a month, maybe more) before you do anything sexual and wait even longer (at least 6 months) before you have sex with the person. That way the users will lose interest before it gets to sex.
For now though, I know it hurts. Immerse yourself in things that you love whether it's writing, running, seeing friends, cooking or watching American Pie, just do it. Keep your mind busy and you'll get over this little gobshite and move on and find a decent guy.
Good luck! :)
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A
female
reader, keepitreal03  +, writes (20 September 2009):
Things like this happen so much with young teens. At ur age these boys are just trying to have sex. There not in love or trying to make the first time special. Us girls are. That's why u wait. I waited. My friends all had this problem. Just learn from this. And next time wait until ur with him longer and make him wait. There's no rush. Its suppose to be a love thing something u share ur giving a piece of u. How can u give that if ur only with them or knowing then a month or so. Even 4 months. U need to date and save sex for later because guys at 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 want SEX not love first then sex. There are very few who want more and I bet u won't meet more then 1 in ur life time. So just learn from this and its ok.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2009): Hi sweetheart,
I am sorry you are hurting, what he did has nothing to do with how you acted. This boy had nothing on his mind but sex, unfortunately young boys are like that. They won't change for a few more years yet.
Please don't beat yourself up, you did nothing wrong. The fact that you waited until you are 17 speaks for your virtue all by itself.
You need your girlfriends and some fun right now to help put this behind you. Time will pass and you will feel better.
Be careful in the future and make sure you know a guys intentions before you have sex with him. If you are unsure, wait. Any guy that is interested in you, not just sex, will wait.
Please don't hide out and feel bad, get out of the house and do something fun. This was not your fault, he was just being driven by his hormones and never took your feelings into consideration :(
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A
female
reader, Julie D +, writes (20 September 2009):
I am sorry to hear that u have been hurt in this way by a using little cockroach. i know how deeply hurtful it is to be in love with someone and give them a special part of urself only to find out that they did not deserve u. u r worth so much more so dry ur tears and do not feel bad about urself. we all make mistakes that is part of growing up and becoming wiser. be comforted if u can by knowing what goes aroung comes around, that 1 day he will be truly sorry 4 the pain he has caused and that u can do so much better. don't be in such a hurry to give them what they want next time. a guy who truly loves u will not mind waiting untill u r ready.
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A
female
reader, obsticalfree  +, writes (20 September 2009):
Its probably BOTH! I'm sorry he was such a jerk. Look a lot of people's first time isn't with the right person . It seems like he isn't mature enough for a real realationship and is just putting notches in his belt. Hopefully he grows up soon and stops hurting people. I am sorry you are feeling bad. But I promise you will find someone who really likes you just for you :) It will happen and the next time you will chose to sleep with someone because YOU want to and not because of pressure. Also you said you 'gave him your virginity' well than it was your choice you decided it was time for you and that's okay. If you gave it to him to keep him you now know that , that isn't the way to have a 'real' relathionship and if you've learned that lesson now you are way ahead of a lot of other people. Giving someone a gift of love is precious and you can will be able to give it to someone else when you are ready. The good thing about this is he doesn't have you worrying that you did something wrong - clearly he is the user and the jerk and you are just fine - Hugz and Take Care
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