A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello friends. I am a 29 year old unmarried, virgin girl from India. I would like to discuss one of my beliefs with all of you. Hope you don't call me a psycho as all others call me.I have been a very outstanding student, always a topper. I am working as a lecturer. When i was in school, university I always had crushes over guys like a normal girl.But I never found any right guy whom with I could fall in love. It became my belief that i will save myself for the one who will love me equally and will be with me throughout my life. I never liked the idea of making boyfriends, just to pass the time as my friends used to do. I had many offers from boys side to enjoy with them , but i never allowed anyone to even hold my hand. Because i thought that if he is not loving me, i am not a timepass. I always believe in true love till eternity.I am open to accept love but till now I never came across any guy who told me that he loves me, so I didn't make available to any boy just for enjoying.In India you all know there is a system of arranged marriages. My parents know that I don't have anyone in my life whom I love, so they are searching groom for me through matrimony. According to Indian culture they say me that marriages are made in heaven and you will definately get a good husband after such a long wait.My friends call me a psycho. They say that you are wasting your youth in wait of someone. You should enjoy and should make timepass relations. Though i have many boys as friends. I used to go for movies, dinners, tours with them in university days. But I don't believe in getting intimate with any boy just to satisfy physical needs. I want a partner with whom I can share my feelings, emotions, friendship and of course sex
View related questions:
crush, university Reply to this Article
Share |
You can add your comments or thoughts to this article A
male
reader, NITRAM BLUE  +, writes (3 January 2009):
 Thats the problem with tradition and culture when it gets in the way of love. I have read some things about India's tradition and culture being the same 50 years ago. If an Indian woman marries she must have an acceptable dowry to be offered to the man's parents. Sometimes there are unfortunate cases of Indian women being burned.
Now on your "psycho thing" - its an inappropriate term to be used. A psycho is some nut who doesn't know what is right from wrong. And girl, I don't see that in you, in the way you write your case.
Your course of action are two fold - to conform with your parents' traditional wishes or to be what you wanna be. Talk to your parents if they still insist on the old ways, if they do, then you gotta make them work because you are in a hurry. If they are going to leave matters to you, then go girl, nobody aint stoppin you now. =)
A
male
reader, IndianGuide +, writes (29 December 2008):
You can take up masturbation.
Better than frustration.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2008): As far as sexual needs go, until you and your husband "need" to make children, there is no need for sex anyway, so waiting to be sexually intimate until marriage is a good, wise choice.
When you are married, your husband will need to feel he is important to you, and only being sexually intimate with your husband will make him feel important.
I think waiting for the one is a good thing.
Be sure he is a man of good character also waiting for the one. I hope you are able to find a good Christian Indian man.
...............................
A
male
reader, Phsyciatrist-to-be  +, writes (10 December 2008):
 I agree, though I have nothing against casual relationships.
Speaking as someone who has never been ina relationship, I think it's a good idea to wait for "the one," but personally, I think refusing to have any casual relationship is not a great idea. Whilst that one person in your life will be infinately more important than anyone else, it's good to socialise a bit, even if you never end up in a serious relationship.
If I were here to advise you, I would suggest you let go of this regiem just a little. But I'm not, and so I will simply say: good for you, though there's only so much waiting one person can do.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2008): Dear Poster,
I don't know how many of the posts are yours.I can bet that a few of them are.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/help-me-choose-the-right-path-should-i.html
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-married-boss-suggested-no-strings-sex-should.html
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/what-do-i-do-with-my-married-doctor.html
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/after-listening-to-my-managers-confession-im-so.html
I understand that the people who are reading this don't know about our culture.But you should definitely know.
For the rest of the world who are reading this,
80% of the Indian Girls who are born and brought up in India never have sex before marriage.They may have boyfriends but they don't cross the line.We go out on coffee dates.Most of the time we never go to movies or discos with boyfriends.Reason being they are closed spaces.Something doesn't add up here with this post..
Yesterday there was a post ,"has his touch made me impure?".It also spoke of timepass relations.Now I am not able to find it.Its been deleted.
All marriages in India are not made in heaven.Please check the stats for in-law sexual abuse,mother-in-law torture,murder due to dowry.If you are lucky,you find a good guy.I hope you do.I am not even sure you are going to keep this question open after you read my answer.
Did you know in one of the top cities of India the stats of divorce was more than 200 per month?Please come out of your small shell of the world you are living in.
When we are writing something that the entire world reads,lets give facts.
P.S:Diovan I am just leaving...Hee Hee
...............................
A
female
reader, littlemissalf123  +, writes (10 December 2008):
 I think your one of the most honorable young women whose ever posted on this site. I'm 15 years old and I respond to so many times to girls, even young women (12-21) who don't know the value or worth of there body. They put them selves out there for anything and anyone to take hold of and use, and just having you post this makes me feel like the things I say are not in vain. You go ahead and wait. You tell your friends "I could at anytime become like you, but never again can you be like me." And take your time in making such large decisions in your life. Your a really smart Woman.
...............................
A
male
reader, Neeraj060 +, writes (8 December 2008):
 Salute to you for coming out so openly.As you know times are changing and even if you are waiting for the right Guy there is a slim change the Prince that comes by would be the one you are looking for.May be you fall in love with him and move on in life,however there is a slim chance that both of you like each other.As you already told your parents are looking for some one and it won't be too long before they find some one and you would have to get married sooner or later and I know there is a tremendous family pressure.What I can best advice you is keep looking and try to mingle with stranges a bit because you still haven't found the guys in your frinds circle.
...............................
A
female
reader, vamp-gal +, writes (8 December 2008):
 Heyy,
I agree with you, you shouldn't just be with someone because you can, you should love them, and they should love you, and it should be the best thing in the world, not just something, where you can say 'I have a boyfriend'.
I think I have the same opinions as you. I'm 15 and I've never had a boyfriend. Though I have never had any offers, I'm still waiting for the 'right guy' and hoping I'll know who that is :).
I agree with you though, I would never, in a million years, sleep with someone, just to let the time go by. I also want my first time to be with someone I love, and someone who loves me, and with someone I won't regret it being with.
It may seem weird, a 15 year old thinking about this, but it's true, these are my beliefs, and I wouldn't change them, no matter what.
This is just my opinion, if you ask me, your right, and your friends are wrong, don't listen to your mates, listen to yourself, your opinion is what truely matters.
...............................
|
