A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Do I tell my new boyfriend im not a virgin anymore? I told him that I am but I want us to be honest to each other. So what do I do now? Do I tell him i'm not a virgin or do I let him think that I still am? Im 17. He is 21. Im not planning on having sex with him. Just want honesty. Xxx. Reply to this Question Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2008): It's better to tell him in the big picture. Better for you and better for him. (If your virgin status is making a big impression on him, them PLEASE, PLEASE don't let this lie go on any longer. It may literally torture him when the truth comes out. If keeping quiet about this bothers you a little now, it'll bother you a whole lot the longer this goes on.)
But at the same time, it takes a hell of a guy to know you've slept with other guys but you won't sleep with him in the forseeable future. I know I wouldn't be thrilled.
It's not about being ANGRY at the girl or anything. More like just feeling like I'm getting the short end of the stick.
It's a little too much like saying "I already gave away the milk for free to that other guy, and now I want you to pay the full bill for the empty cow to balance my situation out." What you want is totally understandable, but don't expect the second guy to be too thrilled about his end of the deal.
A
female
reader, Loz_7 +, writes (7 December 2008):
Well you must of had a reason to lie to him in the first place, so just explain to him that, that is the reason why you lied. If he loves you then he will understand and forgive you. Tell him you want there to be honesty in the relationship then any secrets he may have, he can tell you. Hope this helps! Good Luck!
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A
female
reader, TMar +, writes (7 December 2008):
I'm a virgin and my boyfriend is not. I let him know up front when the topic of sex came up that I was not a virgin. You should let your boyfriend know because honisty is key to a good relationship.
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A
female
reader, MuffinGirl +, writes (7 December 2008):
Hey, I think you should tell him. It's not shame that you're not virgin. Don't feel embarras about that. You want honest relationship, so start working on that. If he loves you, he would except you and your past sex life.
Good luck!
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