A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I caught my ex gold-digging past-lover that I work with screwing with another person in the office this morning? I caught them and now have extremely incriminating evidence against her and I would love to get her kicked out of the office for good...cause she is really intellectually indigent and can't do virtually anything right...and out of my sight and mind and life forever! What would you do? Thank you!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2011): Honestly, it would really depend on why the relationshit had ended between us. And it would also depend on how badly I was treated. If she had cheated on me, abandoned me or screwed me over financially or something, then yes, I would take advantage of an opportunity to rid my workplace of her presence! But if we broke up because we just wanted different things or she wasn't ready to commit...Then no, I wouldn't be vengeful. Not all breakups are evil. Most hurt, but not all end on horrible terms. If she really betrayed you, then make SURE that your little plan of office chess to take out the "queen" doesn't backfire! You'd be surprised to see how often people don't really have someone's job right in the palm of their hands and revenge can backfire. If you decide to get her OUT, then just make sure you know what you're doing first, or YOU might just end up on unemployment, while she is still on the payroll and still doing some office dude.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2011): you owe it to your company to TELL.
they get paid to work not screw around so if you do not tell it means you are wilfully blind to the wrong act and that perhaps you are colluding with them.
vengeful/spiteful- who cares, as long as you tell.
just be discreet and dont come across as a scorned lover. hey and if you have to stop at the coffee machine and tell a few tales , even better (hahahaha)
i my opinion i think that too many employees take advantage of their companys rules and they need to be brought to book.
LoveGirl
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A
female
reader, skoolof life  +, writes (5 May 2011):
 They will probably get caught out anyway they don't sound as though they're being very careful.
Just enjoy knowing she's not your girlfriend anymore and let it go - don't risk your reputation for an Ex - surely your better than that
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A
female
reader, oliviaclairex +, writes (5 May 2011):
 I definitely would tell!
Karma's a bitch!
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (5 May 2011):
 I wouldn't do it. You look bad. Vengeful, jealous and immature.
And I agree with CindyCares, the opposite of love is not hate. the OPPOSITE of love is ambivalence.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (5 May 2011):
 It's unprofessional I admit but it's not a crime to shag someone in the office. If it were, there would not be millions of Christmas office party liasons.
Your angry and bitter towards this woman and your not thinking of telling because it's for the good of the office, your doing it for pure revenge. I presume most people know she's your ex so if you squeal...believe me everyone is going to see you as an embittered asshole who ratted on her. It may provide you with temporary vindication but it will be short lived when nobody trusts you anymore or is scared you might rat on them for any misdemeanour you see.
Ignore it, ignore her and move on...you will be a better man for it!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2011): I would do it, of course. But provide the evidence anonymously just to be safe. Definitely don't reveal that you are the snitch to anyone.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2011): Of course you must tell HR. For one it's unprofessional and two, where were they screwing? Imagine if it was on someone's desk - uuuuggghhhh! Oddly enough, we had an HR lady at a place where I used to work and despite her being married with twin boys, she was screwing anything that moved at work and they were in fact caught in the photocopying room - instant dismissal for professional misconduct. Imagine if a customer caught them at it - they would assume I guess that the whole company is not professional and they would not want to do business with them. This needs to be stopped - go ahead. Remember, revenge is a dish best served cold!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2011): I would do nothing at all. Look you may not like your ex but you'd be far worse than her for doing something so spiteful and snidey. Don't use this as leverage against them either. Just let it go. It's none of your business.
Look OP she's a bit of a fool really, people like her always get caught, you don't need to be the one that starts all this crap.
Do you really want to get caught up in a crazy office feud that may even cost you your job. It's two against one, they may well deny everything, if she's that much of a bitch then she may say you tried it on, or you're making up lies, or she may even do something crazy like say you're sexually harassing her.
Just be glad she's your ex and have fun knowing what you do. It's much better to keep things like to yourself, it means you hold all the power. But just don't turn into a slimy little worm that goes around ratting on people. No one will trust you with anything in work ever again.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (5 May 2011):
 And what would you accomplish ? You would not change the past, you would not cancel the harm she has done to you , and you would not get back the " gold " she has digged .
You'd kick her out of your workplace, true- but as for kicking her out of your mind and life, that you could do it / should have done it anytime, wherever she is, because it's only up to you chosing how much space you want to give her in your thoughts.
It seems to me that she must still have quite a bit of it, since you are plotting such an extreme retaliation , and carrying it through will only confirm and reinforce the hold she has on you.
If you were totally over her- she could be working inside your kitchen at your home, and you would not care.
Of course not caring is a natural process and may take some time, but if you keep nursing revenge plots you'll just lenghten the process.
The best revenge is... not giving a f**k.
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A
female
reader, Aunty Susie  +, writes (5 May 2011):
 As good as it would feel for the moment, it would surely back fire on you. You would be seen as the bad guy I'm afraid. Maybe you should be looking for a new job. Remove yourself from this very unhealthy environment.
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj +, writes (5 May 2011):
 Won't look good on you from anyone's perspective at your work. Nobody likes a snitch. Would you say she's a vindictive or horrible person to work with? Does she make your work day hell? Cos that's the only justifiable reason I can think for doing this. You may not like her, but other work colleagues might... You could be shooting yourself in the foot.
Do you not get enough satisfaction just by knowing that you're taking the high road and no longer have to worry about her being a problem for you again with this ace in your sleeve..?
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (5 May 2011):
 You're thinking about possibly ruining someone's life completely or at least, severely wounding it. If she really is as helpless as you say she is, not being able to do anything right, isn't she lucky to still have this job? Surely if not for her skill than simple good fortune. What that tells me is that it might be hard for her to seek out another job. This seems a cruel punishment.
Whatever she did to you, let it go. You don't need me to tell you that this vengeance you seek will only bring you down to lowly heights. Right now you are seen as the victim and it is natural for you to feel so angry and vengeful. You have power over her now. Show her that you are a decent human being and just let it go, surely she would be grateful and whatever she's been doing, she will cease troubling you. Learn to forgive and forget.
I hope that helps.
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A
male
reader, Crabman  +, writes (5 May 2011):
 go for it !
BUT be tactful , you dont want to seem petty & end up loosing support for your cause
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