A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My Girlfriend and i have been together some time now and we are engaged, we're quite young but i know i feel strong enough to make this commitment as does she, however she has cheated on me twice before but promises me that it was stupid mistakes and i believe her and i am over it. But she is also Bisexual and that really bugs me because i feel so insecure over it, like i'm going to get jibbed for a girl, however she promises me she wouldn't yet she started fancying a girl and told her she would do things with this girl, we'll call her the whore for the purposes of this i found out about this and confronted her she broke down and again promised me she would never have done anything with her again, i believed her. Admittedly she is abit of a flrt and has told me countless times that she would be heartbroken if i left her and i don't want to. She even said if she was me she would of left me by now because of what she's done, but i believe in giving chances...Also her whole Bisexual thing i don't really think is true as she said it ''would be naughtier with a girl and so much easier'' I think she's just intrigues but i don't know, Please help me. I love this girl a hell of a lot.
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female
reader, KungPow  +, writes (18 March 2011):
My advice to you is to seriously put off this engagement for now. You said you are young and engaged. I know you want her to be your wife. But you also cannot ignore her behavior. PAST IS PRELUDE. Cheated TWICE and still shows signs of questionable behavior and flirting with others? NOT GOOD. NOT GOOD! I think she will end up cheating AGAIN whether it would be emotionally or physically or both. And I think you would be the one to really suffer. She seems too immature for a commitment like marriage. Married people really should not be flirting with others. It is disrespectful and if you aren't someone who is fine with that, then I forsee a LOT of arguments in your future. You should marry someone who is on the same page as you. Someone who sees life and commitments the same way that you do. Someone who doesn't want or need to flirt or cheat or have secret interests in others behind your back. It is one thing to simply find someone attractive. We are all human. BUT it is WRONG for committed people to get close to someone else they find attractive. That just leads to trouble and temptation. Nothing good comes out of it. If she doesn't see this for herself and you constantly have to point it out, she will see you as a control freak and blame you for her actions. I would postpone this engagement until you both can sort out things better and really discuss what you both want in your future and how you feel. I would not recommend marrying someone who loves to flirt and develops crushes on people. This has a BIG red flag on it.
A
male
reader, yazanco  +, writes (17 March 2011):
Man leave her, i promise you she will keep on cheating, it is an instinct in her, she cannot stop doing it anymore, just for you. Dont take women promise seriously, when they are emotional the say things they don't mean, just to satisfy their beloved.
Take it from me, you don't need her, out there there are lots of heterosexual women who will be more faithful, honest and caring than a bisexual woman, as her care will be divided for two beloved persons you and her female partner.
Man, be a man, don't let you emotions destroy the rest of your life, until you don't mind letting her get licked and kissed by another person except you and get STD from some dildo or so, i really cannot picture your situation.
My final words, LEAVE HER, it is hard, but not impossible.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (16 March 2011):
 How many times does she need to cheat on you before you realize she's not going to be faithful to you. You're better off without her no matter what you may feel. But I know you're going to learn this lesson the hard way. Wait till she brings back an STD from one of these flings. I'll tell you from experience that's never fun.
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A
female
reader, SweetSmoochy +, writes (16 March 2011):
 Firstly, the fact that this girl is bisexual has NOTHING to do with the fact that she is unfaithful. Bisexuality does not mean a person is a cheater, promiscuous, or slutty. Case in point: myself. I'm bi, I'm NOT a cheater, nor am I promiscuous. Therefore, take her sexuality out of the equation completely.
That said, let's examine her infidelity. There is no excuse for cheating, however, there is almost always some reason behind it. Her reason appears to be that she is not ready to be engaged. She is not ready to be done dating and all set to marry someone, which is completely normal for her age. I think that if you call off the engagement and either continue as a more normal relationship for high schoolers to be in, she will stop cheating. Another option is just being friends, of course, and though painful, it may the best option for you two until you figure yourselves out a little.
Best of Luck
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A
female
reader, GeeGee255 +, writes (16 March 2011):
 To me none of these things makes her a bad person. They just make her a very young imature girl who is not ready to be engaged, or even in a committed relationship.
And I am sure she does love and doesn't know why she keeps "slipping up" with other people. Again it is a flashing neon warning sign that she is NOT ready.
You need to give her a few more years, on her own...
to finish growing up. She can't just skip this stage because you love her and don't want to lose her.
She needs time to figure out who she is now. If you can't or won't give it to her now, you will probably live to regret it.
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A
female
reader, fishdish +, writes (16 March 2011):
 I would put marriage plans on hold until you have this issue worked out. but 'worked out' will always mean, she has a curiousity or attraction to women that will not go away, even if the cheating or flirting does. Can you accept this?
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A
female
reader, Adorskable  +, writes (16 March 2011):
 Being straight, gay, or bi-sexual definds your sexuality.
Being with more than one person at a time makes you a cheater.
A committed person will not cheat on the person that she or he claims to love.
When a person is committee to the relationship he/she is going to want to be with only that person regardless of her sexuality. Being bi-sexual does not gives her the right to cheat.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (16 March 2011):
 Being bisexual is not a license to cheat on your significant other. If she weren't bisexual and told another guy that she wanted to do things to him, you'd clearly drop her.
The fact that someone's bisexual and is attracted to both genders doesn't mean that a promise of exclusivity doesn't apply. If she cheats or flirts with another woman while dating you, it's the same as cheating or flirting with another man, plain and simple.
I would break it off and save yourself a worse broken heart.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2011): My advice, you don't need her.
Simply, she cannot get what she gets from a female from you, simply you cannot satisfy her desires, bcoz she used to get it from a male and female, a male cannot give her what she gets from a female, and vice versa.
Girl's promise is fake, once you turn your head, something else happens.....i swear women are double-faced.
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