A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I was with a guy on and off for three years, I went away for school and we broke up because we couldnt really deal with long distance, however in the past week we were planning on trying again, then this weekend I find out he had sex with another girl, I love him and want to forgive him but how can I, and should I?
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broke up, long distance, sex with another Reply to this Question
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female
reader, TinaImaguire  +, writes (16 March 2011):
This happened to me, but my partner was the one away and cheated on me...He was sure I was going to break up with him, but because I loved him I told the truth: that I was really hurt but wanted to give it a go...He was so ashamed that he didn't cheat ever again. We are still together, almost 13 years. I think is important for you to really follow your guts (not your heart...).If you see a future with him and really have a good relationship, tell him how you feel about the cheating and see how he reacts: if he acts like: "phew, that was close, she doesn't care if I cheat, who's next?" then he doesn't love you. But if he is ashamed and really wants to be with you then maybe you could give it another go...do YOU want to?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2011): Decide if you are together exclusively, if you are from now on set boundaries. If things are vague it is easy for him to stray. So forgive him if you feel it right but make sure you know where you stand from here on in.
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A
female
reader, Mona Hunter  +, writes (16 March 2011):
If you love him, forgive him. If he cheats on you again, I dont think he is right for you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2011): You need to sit down with him and clarify all the facts. When did he have sex with this girl, and was it a one-off thing or is he genuinely interested in her?
If you're sure that you're going to take back this boy after what he's done, you have to be prepared that it might not be a monogamous relationship. Make sure that the two of you have the same objectives and want the same things for this relationship first before the forgiving comes along.
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