A
female
age
26-29,
*e10
writes:hi, i am 14 and want a baby..ive cared for babys all of mii life n have the money for it...i kno a baby is alot of work and its all about the baby and u come last..but i dont care.. i wanna have a baby to love me and share their feelings wit me n wen they r teenagers..give them a shoulder to cry on..im just a mom type person.i kno wut the ups and downs are but i still want one to call my baby, my best friend! i am still in school but i live with mii mom who will be more than willing to care for it during da day.n after high skool i will get a full time job to spoil my child and give it whatever it wantsi have a loving home and a great family... so plz comment me bakk on what yhu think!!!!!!!!!COMMENT BAKK!!!!
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female
reader, Ich_liebe_dich  +, writes (19 January 2010):
 Yes you are perfectly right. all of us here are just cared about you. but if you think we are wrong, and you are very very rich and able to have child then, im not sure that you need to write here and ask an advice. people here are just worried and care about you and think whats going to happen next. but if you think its ok for you to have a baby, then lets cheers to that... goodluck anyway
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female
reader, SirenaBlusera  +, writes (18 January 2010):
 they are much cuter and easier to look after.
And they're loyal!!
I say, go to the pound and ADOPT! ADOPT! ADOPT that pet!! (Universal web chant)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2010): what the hell are you thinking child. no lad would want to have a baby with you at 14. the sex mabye. but no way would they stick around to raise a child with you. but think of the reputation your going to give yourself! a little tart? its not even funny you dont want that kind of rep because you seem like a sweet girl. to be honest you seriously need to think this through? yeah maybe your family want more children but i dont think its fair to exspect them to give up there life AGAIN, they already gave it up for you and you siblings. (if you have any) i can see exactly what would happen now... you get the baby, take care of it for a few week. dump it on your mam. its true. i think you should just get a puppy/kitten:D they are much cuter and easier to look after. plus all your mates would love you for it;)
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female
reader, el369  +, writes (17 January 2010):
Noooo please don't do that, I know you say you've looked after babies and that you know how difficult it is, but you never know how hard it is until you've had a child of your own. You will be responsible for this child until he or she is 21 years old that is a huge responsibility for someone your age to take on and if I'm being honest I think its truly unfair to expect your mother to take in this child as well as you. Maybe if you enjoy spending time with children you should consider baby sitting or something of that nature because the only future you should be concentrating on now is your own, concentrate on your education and socialising with your friends (because after you've had a child there would be no room for that in your life until he or she is much older). Try speaking to your mother or any other family members with children that you can speak honestly to and ask them about their experiences with their children and I'm sure they would advice you that parenthood is not easy in the slightest. You have so much time for babies and I'm sure you'll make a good mom when the time is right. Have fun in your teenage years, trust me they go quickly, good luck,,x
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2010): just think who would look afer the baby full time when you go to work, you will be up all night feeding and get no sleep, when u give birth you viginal area splits open, which make your "asshole" in such words, split open, your not fully developed yet wait aleast 2-3 yrs i would say.
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female
reader, SirenaBlusera +, writes (17 January 2010):
Puppies are cute!!
And they love UNCONDITIONALLY. Ditto for kittens.
Millions of them are dying in shelters... why bring a kid into the world that you're not prepared for? Get one of those millions of pets out there that NEED HOMES!!!!!!
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female
reader, problemmaganet  +, writes (17 January 2010):
 It's nice that you have the money for it, but keep it for yourself. Use it for college and supporting yourself first. Right now you live with your parents who take car of you. Continue talking care of babies, but also realize how you are setting yourself up. No boy this young will want to help you through this. At this age, boys are immature. You will be stuck trying to go to school and living your life. You want to hang out with ur girlfriends? Won't b able to happen anymore. You just can't do it right now. Enjoy your life, and when you have a stable relationship in your adult years, go ahead.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2010): You are only 14 years old!!! You have plenty of time to have a kid. What's the rush??? Do you want a boyfriend? Do you think he is going to want to stick around to that? Very rarely will you find a guy like that. Not to mention why would you put yourself throught that? If you think your mom is cool with a you havin a baby you either "A" never talked it through with her. "B" She doesn't care. or "C" she had you at 14 and wants to feel better about herself.
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female
reader, SirenaBlusera +, writes (16 January 2010):
I had to work my way through college. My parents weren't in a position to help me out then. I'm not bitter about it, BUT... it sucks. I've gotta admit that I felt jealous of the other kids who got to have a social life, date, participate in fun activities...
I've moved on with my life but I can tell you that it sucks so much to have to struggle to get through school, I'm not blaming my parents, but the moral is that before you have a kid, you need to be thinking about how you're gonna provide a great life for it.
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female
reader, SirenaBlusera +, writes (16 January 2010):
NO WAY is ANY 14-year-old ready to take care of a baby!!
Please open up your eyes to the consequences of what your'e doing, because I PROMISE you you're making a mistake.
You haven't finished high school, let alone realized all the other rites of passage that you need to do before you settle down. You don't wanna struggle in life.
I'm a college graduate and a qualified teacher, and I'm struggling right now to take care of a little 80-pound German Shepherd. How are you gonna take care of a KID? You're 14!!!!
Don't you want to go to college? Study abroad? Backpack through Europe? Maybe teach English in Asia or South America? There's so much you haven't done yet. It will be difficult to do these things when you have a kid.
I think you have this ideal picture in your mind of what it's like to have a baby, but it couldn't contrast more with reality. Babies are cute and sweet but they will require sacrifices on your part, that no one your age is ready to make. Furthermore, I have taught teenagers, and although I had some wonderful students, I can tell you that your heartwarming picture of your teenager as your best friend, 100% of the time, is more than a tad unrealistic.
I suggest that if you want a loving companion, that your family should consider adopting a puppy or a kitten. Please, PLEASE consider adopting an animal instead. Millions of animals, that have so much love to give, are being put to death in shelters every day, all over the country, all that love just extinguished forever. It breaks my heart. If I had this $200,000, then I would just go adopt some more pets.
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female
reader, Not My Name  +, writes (16 January 2010):
 Babies/ children are not the way to gain a 'best friend'. You have to be a parent, role model, and sometimes disciplinarian - which means you are not neccessarily going to be viewed by them as a best friend. You'll no doubt be the ogre at some point tho if you are doing a good job as a parent - it's just the way it is.
Go to school tomorrow and ask the other children there if they consider their mum to be their best friend. That might be a reality check for you.
If you need a friend, get a hobby, get socializing, and find someone on your level. Dont try to fill a hole missing in your life by not only having a child, but then expecting that child to fit whatever role you want them to. They are individuals - not puppets.
You're living in fantasy land. You seem to want your mother to raise your child so that you can have a 'living doll' to play with when you get home from your own chilhood activities.
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female
reader, Aunty BimBim +, writes (16 January 2010):
 If your parents are rich why not ask them if they will pay for some English lessons.
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female
reader, me10 +, writes (16 January 2010):
me10 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyeah i feel all of ur worries but my parents are rich not that that matters but u see ill be able to care for the baby..all of my family has had kids young and they want more....and as for the teenage years i will teach it the best i can..i understand i am young but i am mature...maybe ill wait until im out of highschool
comment!!!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2010): no sex till after marraige is religious crap. but i agree it is the wrong age for you to have a baby.
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female
reader, Ich_liebe_dich +, writes (16 January 2010):
therapist, yes.. thats the right word i need to say first. thanks Lonely two. i got it from you. Yes baby., You need to talk first to some therapist. 2nd grab a very lovely, sweet cute puppy for you. I think this is the best time for you to have it.. 3rd look at the mirror and look to some other girl like in your age.. wake up sweetheart you are really dreaming here. im really sorry to say this but you are not thinking straight.
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female
reader, r_a_w_r1645 +, writes (15 January 2010):
 no. dont. honestly ur not ready and u dont no everything that comes with it. have u watched the show teen mom? about 16 year olds who have kids. well guess what. they have a really hard time with it and if ur 14 ur gonna have a way worse time. it doenst matter how much u think ur gona be a good mom. ur not ready. u would regret it. theres a chance of death anywayz if u gave birth in the hospital becuz ur so young. and im 14 and i want a kid all the time too. but im waiting. ur not ready and it would sccrew up half of ur life. WAIT.
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female
reader, ShadowGoddess231 +, writes (15 January 2010):
 With all that was said to you, you really need to take off the "rose colored glasses" to really see the world what it is like. Your 14 and having yet seen or even been in the world. What you need is a cuddling from dear ol' mom. Long with spoiling the kid, it's not worth it. You do not want by any means want to spoil a child, you want to discipline the child so they will be upstanding person. You'll love to try and get them everything they want, but come on that is a fairy tale. My mom never spoiled me, and she discipline me so I can be an upstanding person like I am. With being the kid's best friend, where did you get that crazy idea from??? Heck my mom was never my best friend she was my mom. What you need deary is a best friend from school as in another 14 yr old girl so you can have sleep overs, have fun with. Yeah sure you've taken care of babies like as in babysitting, but there was something that you had, it was the parents of the kid that took the rest of the 24 hour care that you don't know about. You'll have school, work and baby business all wrapped up for ya. My advise is wait till you are married before you start even thinking about sex. Then you'll have a lover that will really help you out with kids. Heck you can stay home and be momma to your kids without the stress. Like what someone just told you, your kid will be wanting to know what your motives were when you decided to have them. With my mom and dad being married that took care of that for me. Because they love each other like no other and wanted to have a family. I have an idea for you, why don't you get one of these baby dolls that are made for girls like you to really see if you are ready. Let me tell you there is the staying up all night and or getting close to no sleep at all to feed the kid to change the diaper to soothing the kid to what have you and then there is school. Wow that is something. Then get this your friends well they are going to be having lives and you, sorry you have a baby and no life, and the when you do want to get married, sorry baby comes before mommy's wants.To top of that, there is indeed the cost of a child, I don't think a 14 year old girl has that kind of money. I don't think you are a rich girl and living life in the richie rich part of town. So get a puppy they are like babies.Things of you to really worry about is:1- be on time to school not skool...2- have good grades in school.3- be a kid!4- live life to the fullest!5- have good style.6- have fun!7- get a puppy or a kitten.8- NO sex till after marriage.9- find a guy that you are so totally head over heals about.10- Get a best friend forever, or a BFF.I hope this helps you!
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male
reader, Neboraic +, writes (15 January 2010):
Well you have the money and youve thought about the subject, so youll be ahead of the game. I would still wait for the right time, you may be ready but you didnt mention a father. The worst thing you can give your child is an absent father or one who doesnt get along with you, that will affect the child badly. Choose carefully and make sure he lives you when the baby arrives. At 14 your not gonna find any guys who also want a baby, so your gonna need to wait for that.
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female
reader, Harle +, writes (15 January 2010):
I don't really think you know all the ups and downs of having a child.
For a start it is ideal that a child have a family circle, not rise them in a broken family or just a mum who wants to be there forever. Remember that everyone has a different way to think than ours, as the saying goes, each head is a different world. Even if you have the money of the world to raise a child, you don't know for sure if in a future you might have to deal with anything that can come arise of anything that can't be prevented. And raising a child just because you want to or you feel like you are ready for it, does not necessarily means that you are in fact ready for it.
If you are ready for it, why then you want to put your burden in the shoulders of others, for example your mum, to take care of your child.
Even if you have the money of the world, money is not enough to raise a child, if I was you I would focus in school and having a good career and build your life the best you can. There is always time for everything. And when you have a good education or improve the one you already have, so you can offer moral values and a good education to your children when you are ready to have them.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2010): Ill be honest with you ok. I have an 11yr old daughter.
She loves me very much and we spend some time together, but as she is getting older her life is moving forward and she simply doesnt want to spend as much time with me.
She also disagrees entirely with my philosophy on life and resents when I try to explain the world to her. She thinks she knows better. So did I when I was her age.
Yes she has brought me great joy over the years but also great sorrow.
I know what you think the little one will be, but he/she wont be like you they will be like themselves and wont want you for a friend. You;ll always be mum and thats it.
Finally if you work full time you will wear yourself out and beacuse your tired all the time you will take it out on him/her. Thus the young one will resent you.
Simply wait till your an adult, see the world first ok, try things and live a lttle. Then come back get married and raise a family. Trust me that works.
Enjoy your teenge years, party and have fun. This can wait a bit longer ok.
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female
reader, angelgurl21 +, writes (15 January 2010):
14 is too young to be thinking about having a baby. you're just a kid yourself. enjoy being a kid while you can. so many children are having to worry about growing up so fast- don't rush it. you have plenty of time. having a child is a huge responsibility. how do you think you're going to be able to get a decent full time job once you graduate high school if you only have a high school diploma and no college degree?- it is difficult today to find a good job if you don't have a college degree. kids cost a lot of money and even when you do have a decent job you still can't give the child everything that they may want as they get older because you have bills to pay and their basic needs such as food, clothes, and medical expenses come first before everything else. and have you talked to your mom about this- its not fair to her if your assuming that she will take care of the baby while you are at school. also what are you going to do if a guy asks you out or your friends want to hang out? once you have a baby you're life is changed forever- you have to always put the child first and are going to have to make a lot of sacrifices. you really need to think about how having a baby changes your life. please wait until you are older- you still have plenty of time.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2010): Setting aside the issue of the baby at 14, and I am with the other posters on that, it is totally the wrong thing to do at your age. Apart from the fact you are still a child yourself, sex is illegal at your age in the majority of US states if not all. Do you have a committed long term partner, who will be with you for at least the next 18 years?
How exactly do you think you will get a job where you will earn enough money to be able to "spoil" a child?
At the moment, your language, grammar and spelling (mii, n, kno, u, wanna, wit, n wen, r, kno wut, mii, da, n, skool, plz, yhu, bakk)leave a lot to be desired, and no good company would employ you with that kind of skill level.
The best thing you can do, as a child yourself is to focus on your education. If you carry on like you are with that level of schooling, then you will have trouble getting a job that can support you, let alone a child as well.
The only way to get a really good job, that pays well, is to get a good education, finish school, go to college, university, and actually make a career for yourself.
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female
reader, Holli' +, writes (15 January 2010):
 First of all, your only a young teenager and your still developing, Do you know how hard a pregnancy can be, for months your feet swell and ache like mad, your back hurts, your shoulders hurt it's a very painful experiance. Even if it may be for something you really want, don't you want to live your life a little first, you can't juggle school, work and baby all at the same time, and your age would make it even more difficult, you won't do well at school nwith a baby on your hands, and you don't want to be stuck in some awful job do you? I had a stage like this when I was thirteen I even got baby name books and started pretending a little baby doll was real, forteen is no age to loose your virginity at, a fourteen year old boy wont want to be tied down with a baby for the rest of his life, do you want your baby to be tossed between you and your boyfriend. Your body won't be ready to have a baby yet, your still growing and could get nasty streach marks, and they won't be attractive. Get yourself prepared for the job of your dreams first, that could be involving children, then when your older have a baby with someone you love. It will be worth it, honest. Another thing wich you wont like either ways you'd have a baby at your age are dangerouse because if you were to have a siserian (or however you spell that word) you would be left with a scarr, and if you were to have a natural birth, there has been cases where young girls around your age have had ripped vaginas through giving birth because there body isn't ready. So I think you should hang fire, and think of yourself for a bit.
Good Luck. xxx
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female
reader, lola29  +, writes (15 January 2010):
i think what you need is a boyfriend, the way you're describing how you want someone to care for you, its just.... lsn, u think its that easy to balance work and school, ur crazy, ur overating the idea of it. and i dont think ur mom would be that happy for you, especially since ur a child urself!!
you sound like u dont care about ur social life, but once u have a baby kiss goodbye to that part of ur life. no more fun for u. For God's sake , enjoy ur teen years and then when ur friggin old enough and married or with someone at an ADULT age, then please by all means have a kid. just NOT NOW!
i hope ur taking all this advice into major consideration .
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (15 January 2010):
 Quick question, what state do you live in?
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female
reader, Missouri +, writes (15 January 2010):
You cannot even write a sentence properly - so who is going to employ you at a huge salary so that you can support your baby.I am sure your mom will be very excited to know that her daughter has life all planned for her - have you thought that perhaps your mom wants a life of her own after already having to bring you up?????
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female
reader, Aunty BimBim +, writes (15 January 2010):
your language doesnt indicate that you have a cool $250,000 laying around to raise your child to adulthood. That amount is what the US Dept Agriculture calcuated the cost to be in 2001. And that is for a lower income single parent family.
Of course, if you intend sponging off your mother for the next 18 years you can deduct $45,000 from the total. I'm sure she wont mind not even finishing the job of raising her child to adult hood before she takes on yours.
What if in about 14 years your sweet little chubby cheeked baby has grown into a snarly, scowly, disobedient, uncooperative, grumpy, grunting, uncommunicative male teenager --- farewell the dreams of the two of you, sitting on a chintz sofa, blonde heads touching, discussing feelings. Your child isnt going to want his mother for a best friend!
Why not have a trial run, you are now at the age your rose coloured glasses child will be at, why not sit down with your mother and discuss feelings - honestly discuss feelings, and instead of having some fairy tale in your head really listen to your mother's words .... you might be surprised!
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female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (15 January 2010):
Oh seriously... do you even know how income tax works? You say "I'll get a full time job so I can spoil it" like well paid good jobs just fall on your lap. Why would anyone employ you? There is a recession. Even if you did get a job, it's going to be so low paid that you couldn't even afford nappies, let alone "spoil it."
What you want is someone to love and someone to love you back.
The hormones raging through your body have told you that a baby is the answer when all you really want is a bit of a cuddle.
Get a boyfriend and stop stressing. You can have a baby when you have an established well paying career, a place to live and a marriage.
For that you will need to graduate high school at the very least.
Besides... Don't you have any friends? If you have a baby then you can say goodbye to your social life.
Good Luck!! xx
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (15 January 2010):
Not yet. Please wait. Apart from anything else, I'm sure it's illegal for you to have sex yet. Also, I'm thinking you don't have enough money yet. A child will cost an average of $200,000 upwards if you want it to have a really good life. Also, you haven't seen the world yet, and you need to focus on school. There is no rush into having a baby. Wait until you have good qualifications, a good job and a future before anything else.
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