A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:What is considered too needy or clingy? How many phone calls/texts a day? And how much can we expect phone calls/texts/communication back from a person without expecting too much?
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female
reader, sammiiewammiie +, writes (28 November 2010):
 it all depends on who your talking about. if its someone you care about in a love wy then its never to ch but if its a nagging friend or an annoying family memeber then to much means to much....realize if your the lover wanting to love, the despreate friend or that annoying family member and go from there.
A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (28 November 2010):
 This is something to use your common sense about.
Surely, if you keep sending texts every hour on the hour, so to speak, or you send one text in the morning, have not received a response by noon, and then you go ahead and dash off three or four more (even two in a row would be too much) that's excessive. No, send one text in the morning, say, and if you have not heard by evening, you could send one more to ask if he received your original text. If no response, then I'd personally give it one more full (24 hours) day before trying again.
If you STILL haven't heard, I'd give up until such time as he finally gets back to you.......there is an exception to this, though, and that's when you have something important to tell him for which you need an answer (i.e., "I'm being admitted to hospital for emergency surgery tomorrow"; or "Have you got the tickets for our vacation next week? My boss needs to know how long I'll be away" - you get my drift).
Finally, you said your bf went to Las Vegas for a weekend with his friends and you sent one text and got told you were being needy........doesn't sound to me like you were doing anything unreasonable.
Finally, remember that bombarding someone with constant texts, emails, IMs, phone calls - unless they want to hear from you that much - gives the impression you have no life of your own, and "he" will see you as a pest......
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A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (28 November 2010):
This is something to use your common sense about.
Surely, if you keep sending texts every hour on the hour, so to speak, or you send one text in the morning, have not received a response by noon, and then you go ahead and dash off three or four more (even two in a row would be too much) that's excessive. No, send one text in the morning, say, and if you have not heard by evening, you could send one more to ask if he received your original text. If no response, then I'd personally give it one more full (24 hours) day before trying again.
If you STILL haven't heard, I'd give up until such time as he finally gets back to you.......there is an exception to this, though, and that's when you have something important to tell him for which you need an answer (i.e., "I'm being admitted to hospital for emergency surgery tomorrow"; or "Have you got the tickets for our vacation next week? My boss needs to know how long I'll be away" - you get my drift).
Finally, you said your bf went to Las Vegas for a weekend with his friends and you sent one text and got told you were being needy........doesn't sound to me like you were doing anything unreasonable.
Finally, remember that bombarding someone with constant texts, emails, IMs, phone calls - unless they want to hear from you that much - gives the impression you have no life of your own, and "he" will see you as a pest......
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2010): Actually Jmtmj it's 47 texts and 22 phone calls all at two minute intervals. 46 texts and they'll think you're not interested, 48 and they'll think you're a psycho.
It says it right there in the rulebook under the section about waiting three days to call after you get a number and above section explaining that you can pregnant from the toilet seat.
Seriously though OP it's not about numbers but content. It's too needy to keep texting if they haven't replied to ask them why they didn't, or texting a lot without good reason just to ask what they're doing when you asked them 5 minutes ago. I text my girlfriend 38 times yesterday because we had a text conversation for about 3 hours while she was at her parents place.
If you text a question then it's polite to reply as soon as you can, that's not to say you have drop everything to do so. As Jmtmj said it depends on the person. My girl texts me lots during the day mainly to tell me little details and events.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (28 November 2010):
 I agree: there's no rules about this. But there's perhaps some "general guidelines". If you text someone every hour, and that someone is, say, at work, then you might appear clingy. Now, if you do it every hour, but only for one day, then it can be a nice thing to do.
If you expect the other person to e-mail or call you every day, and get angry if he doesn't, then you're clingy.
Perhaps the rule of thumb could eventually be something like "as much as the other person does not complain, and as much as the other person doesn't have trouble managing the texting or e-mailing or whatever".
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (28 November 2010):
 I do it in 3's. If I text a guy, and he doesn't get back to me but a hour later(hate that)...I send no more than 3 texts in a row..Just a little friendly reminder, that hello I'm trying to keep up a texting conversation. No more than 3 calls a day.
It depends on the individual, how well he communicates, and if he's busy that day. There's way too many factors, to determine how many texts you should receive back.
Now if he bombards your phone with say 17 calls and 300 incoming texts in a day, then I'd say that's pretty psycho.
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A
female
reader, kirra07  +, writes (28 November 2010):
It really depends on what the interaction is like. If you're both calling each other and happy to hear from each other, calling/texting lots of times a day is fine and not clingy at all. If he doesn't want to talk so often, then even 1 call per day could be too much.
But if I had to generalize, 1 call a day should be okay. And a few texts (2-3) a day.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2010): No rule to thumb on this at all...
My gf and I text a fair bit, about 2000 texts a month, but we only see each other at the weekends.
Other girls I've dated, we hardly text at all, even though I only saw them a few times a week.
All depends on what feels right with the other person.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2010): If you're already in a relationship then the only thing that could make you appear clingy is if you are disrupting things that you would normally do in order to call/text the person. The person you are dating is supposed to share your life not be your life.
If you are not yet at that stage in the relationship then I would try to limit calls to an average of 5 times a week and call only if you have something to say or talk about not just to hear their voice. Texts are different but I would say as long as they're texting back it's ok.
Just think about how often you call and text your friends and adjust accordingly.
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A
female
reader, BB_Sweetie  +, writes (28 November 2010):
 Well actually, girls always have a need to text 24/7 and each like the rea der before me said has their own look to it, I'd like you to get back to me on this one because to be able to answer I'd need to know who you've been texting? A recent date, and ex, a boyfriend, a crush? It all depends.
If its a recent date- Its natural for him not to text you back as much because you have been dating and its not that he doesn't like you, he's just trying to take his time with things
If its an ex- well that shouldn't be it, now should it! XD
But just in case be careful with how many texts you send him, he could get a bad vibe whether he does still love you or not.
If its a BF- its normal you both text eachother all the time in the starting and depends if your love grows or is strong or if he just doesn't feal like texting if you get few messages back.
If its a crush- you should try to be friends and get to know him from there, but Do Not under any circumstances, none what so ever, smother him with texts, if you text him and he doesn't answer, don't text back! Let him send one back, because you never know if he's doing something important! If he does text back, then yay! Go ahead and text until you need to go do something or he needs to leave~
It also depends on the persons character. All boys are different (believe it or not! Lol)
But try to find out his personality in general!
I will need more information to be able to help you out but with the little you have provided, here is my answer.
Don't forget to get back on me with this~ Good Luck~ from:-BB
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A
female
reader, largentsgirl89 +, writes (28 November 2010):
 I think that depends on what the person (who is recieving) thinks is too much.
I think that if you are texting me every two seconds and I'm not texting back, then that should be a sign to you. Or if you send a text and they don't reply, wait until they reply and if they don't reply within an hour then text them again.
I don't think there is really an ettiquette on how many texts you can send to one person.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2010): Hi, I'm the op.
Thanks for your answer! I guess more specifically, my boyfriend went away on a trip for the weekend to Las Vegas with his guy friends, and the entire time he didn't contact me, though I texted him once to see how he was doing. When I asked him about it when he got back, he said I was being needy.... Now I'm just self-conscious about being needy/clingy...
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A
female
reader, eternallyinfinite +, writes (28 November 2010):
If the person is texting/phoning you to check up on you, then I would feel that's too needy/clingy/controlling. I'd probably also feel that it's too needy if one person is texting/messaging a lot more than the other.
However, it really depends on how you/your partner feels about it. Some people text a lot, and others don't ...
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A
female
reader, Lothorien10  +, writes (28 November 2010):
 Ohh dear, reminds me of an ex i dated a longggg time ago. Constant phone calls, texts, emails, he practically hijacked my Facebook! It seemed like he didn't have a life outside of our relationship. There was a time I put my phone on silent when i went to watch a movie with some mates.... 29 missed calls, and 16 texts... :/ I rememeber dicussing it with him and his simple reply was that he 'cared about me'. After a month of his constant smothering, i ended the relationship. I think he understood where I was coming from, but then I haven't spoken to him since....
Hope it helps! lol.
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (28 November 2010):
 Everybody is different, there's no rulebook on this.
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