Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI talked it out with my husband he didnt realize how much not being physical any more botherd me . He said it was because he wasint shure if he would satisfy me anymore as much as i would tell him he is a great lover. He had a dought in him self and would avoid haveing sex with me just for that silly reason. He felt a lil shy telling me about how he viewd it (I know we are married we shouldint be shy any more with each other), but he still has that lil shy boy in him when it comes to realy juicy things like talkin bout sex. I compromised with him and told him we would try new things he was ok about meaning spiceing up are sex life. didnt think the problem was cause he was shy in telling me about it i feel a lil silly now for thinkin there was sumthing wrong with me. He ashures me im perfect for him and we will try to work it out slowly in are likes in the subject of sex. Thanks every one for your advice and boost to talk to my husband I have no familly what so ever on my side to go to so thank u for your support and feed back lots of love from TX.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2010): good luck honey we are rooting for you. keep us posted. hugs, mal
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwe have bin together for 5 years we are going on 6 he works in construction
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthats not bad news just gives me more info u maybe right im willing to fix my relationship if he feels like that ill try figureing it out today im gona speak to him thanks for the advive every one
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female
reader, kayla20  +, writes (21 June 2010):
 i know sex can calm down alot when you have been together for a while i think his just being lazy but instead of letting him tell you its all in your head sit him down and say you cant deal with no passion affection intimacy wotever its not making you feel good about yourself and is starting to make you think he isnt into you anymore tell him if he wants to stay in this marriage then he needs to try abit harder unless he can give you a good enough excuse for not wanting to have sex
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (21 June 2010):
 I hate being the bad guy here,but, if he can get an erection, he is healthy,he is young, he is fit , he is not under stress, he is not cheating, and in the past had a normal sex drive,...the only other thing I can think of is that he is not atttracted to you any more. That would be shown by the fact that he's taking his distance from you not only sexually but in general- avoiding back rubs,cuddles, any occasions for intimacy.
Do not feel bad and do not take it personally, you could have the hottest body ever but sometime routine and habit and availability ( knowing you have somebody always at your disposal ) just kill the magic and decrease desire.
At least temporarily. I guess the spark can be revived by tryng something new or taking a romantic vacation, or acting out a fantasy etc.
But anyway , you have to ask him. Talk to him - without nagging or getting mad, but seriously. After all, it's not that this is a personal problem of yours so if you are not happy with your sex life, tough luck. You two are married so you'd have to figure out something that works for you as a couple.
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (21 June 2010):
He needs to visit a doctor.
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male
reader, RON_499  +, writes (21 June 2010):
 Try tellimg him about this...don't hesitate...speaking out will help u a lot...ask him about what he wants and in what way...but not before u've told him about ur worries k...tell him u think about him all the time when u masturbate...that should make him horny...and if it still doesnt work...tell him hes a limp dick...
Don't Worry Much About Whether ure hot or not...if it helps i think ur msg says that ure quite hot...since i cant see u this is the best i can give i guess..
Take Care n Don't Worry...
^_^
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionto the one who thinks its always the mans fault i think me nor him are to blame this is just a issue we are haveing nothing to point finger in blame ive done my part i just dont know how to help him do his part thats were im lost
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2010): ask him...how often do you think would be right for you? then look at your own answer...and try to compromise. in between times buy a vibrator...*wink* mal
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2010): ever tried to ask him why he does that? understanding communication really helps.
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male
reader, Honest Answer  +, writes (21 June 2010):
 I am assuming wrong that your sex drive was normal up to a few months ago? If so, you have to find out what has changed from then to now. New job? Lost Job? Death in the family? Other stressor? It could be as simple as extra stress or as complicted as a heath reason.
I would be willing to bet that this lack of intamacy has little to do with you and a lot to do with external factors. The key is to find out what these external factors are.
Good Luck!
Jeff
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2010): It's always the man's fault, isn't it? If he's not putting out, he's stressed, or cheated. If the woman's not putting out, it's the man's fault for not making her feel special enough.
I mean this with tongue slightly in cheek, but that's how it often seems. We all know that, USUALLY, at first, we're at it like rabbits and then things USUALLY ease off and this is when the problems occur because our libido returns to it's nore normal level and often we find one partner wants sex more often than the other. You just have to TALK about it. Amazing how much sexual incompatibility there is. Which is why sex before marriage IS a very good thing...
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhe has no std ive gone down on him he gets hard but still refuses strange as that sounds
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhe is not over weight at all he is tall and slender stress i think maybe it but not shure ive tried talkin to him about it ive even offerd back rubs and just laying down and watching flicks he refuses he rather sit and play videogames thank u for the advice every one
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2010): caring guy is right. something is off. has he always had a low sexual drive? is he under a lot of stress? is he overweight? does he have high blood pressure? those things can be factors.
the brain is the biggest sex organ and if he is under a lot of stress that has his brain derailed, and the more pressure you put on him the worse it will get. try to make him comfortable. hold hands, hug, touch him in non sexual but loving ways. be safe for him.
if he does not act loving or caring toward you in other areas...then i think the problem is greater than your sex life. good luck, mal
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female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker +, writes (21 June 2010):
 Seems to be something very wrong with him. You should talk about it. Don't ignore it.
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male
reader, Sorcerer +, writes (21 June 2010):
Not everyone has the same sex drive/libido. You're a couple TALK about this!
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhe is not younger than me he is 3 years older than i am dont know if that would make a difirence lol
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (21 June 2010):
Something is wrong when a young man (I'm assuming he's your age, by the way), is brushing his woman aside like that. He may have a medical problem or something like that. It's not you at all, it's clearly him. You need to talk to him about it immediately, because there is something going on here.
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