A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:lost my virginity last night - still feel like a virgin. It hurt and it was completely with the wrong guy - i remember crying after nad just wanting a cuddle - he feel a sleep and i was left in the darkness thinking about what i had allowed. I was dumb and so stupid but i wanted to not end up as an old virgin one day. I regret doing it with who i did it with but i don't feel too bad - it was only looking through some of the other comments about people waiting that got me feeling more bad. i still can't believe i am not a virgin - wow - a non virgin. wish i had a better story to tell - wish i'd waited in a sense but i'd built it up for years and last night, went with the flow perhaps too rashly. I don't think i'll see the guy again which makes me sad, my first time was a one night stand - not how i pictured it happening at all. I am dumb dumb dumb dumb. How does one learn to cope with this emotionally - i think i'm okay but feeling a bit so so about the whole thing. happy but not at the same time. I guess i was stupid and wanted to join the unvirgin club - thats why i was so stupid, but i can't do anything now except learn from this experience and move forward.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2010): Hey-You're not "dumb."I too lost my virginity to the wrong guy about a year ago.Overcoming all the bitter feelings that followed wasn't an experience that I would call pleasant, however, I can assure you that you WILL be okay. It may take some time to come to terms with what happened, but you will. The best part is you will someday find the man of your dreams and he'll make you forget about your bad first experience. Like it was said before, it will be like losing your virginity all over again, except with the right guy.Also, thank you for being so honest. I was feeling just like you about a year ago, and I know that there are other girls feeling the same way right this very moment. I hope I was able to help. Good luck and God bless you.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2009): Now don't become super sex girl now that that's out of the way.There could have been serious consequences.Your life is so valuable please don't waste it worrying about the past.It goes by so fast.Learn from mistakes and love yourself like God loves you.Unconditionally that is.
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A
male
reader, duce00  +, writes (7 December 2009):
 I had a crappy first time too. It is not uncommon and you should not feel alone in this at all. Very few people I know had a really special first experience.
The good news is that you will not have any trouble figuring out what you will not do again. Sometimes we have to learn about what we want by making mistakes. Again, you are not alone there.
You are no less a wonderful woman because of this experience and there will come a day when you get to have real passionate and intense love making with a man you really care about.
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A
female
reader, tjazzy  +, writes (7 December 2009):
Lest i forget absolutely DO NOT tell anyone about it as richtea advised.
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A
female
reader, tjazzy +, writes (7 December 2009):
So we've all made dumb mistakes and taken rash decisions. What is done is done. Look to the future and try not to sleep with dumb guys any more. At least you now know the value of your body. Don't give it so freely next time.
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A
female
reader, Araelia V  +, writes (7 December 2009):
 Okay, three years ago i lost my virginity to two guys on a pool table and it was one of the biggest mistakes of my life so i know how you feel.
The best thing you can do is to move on. One day you will have sex and it will feel perfect and when that happens you will truly feel like you have lost your virginity.
I will say this. Dwelling on it is not the answer, move on but do notpretend like it didnt happen. it will make you feel worse
hope i helped
araelia v
x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2009): I am so sorry to hear about this. Hope you feel better.
While, of course, you may not be a virgin anymore, the next time and the next time and some times after that will also be new(ish).
So do move on. But don't rush into anything else. Now that you have gotten rid of the hang up, wait it out for the nicest man possible with whom you can hours of cuddling before and after, and tons of exploring.
I wanted to thank you for sharing since this there sooooo many very young girls (14-15) on this site who keep asking for advice on losing their virginity or having sex for the first time. I have taken the liberty of posting what you wrote in two of those questions today. I do hope you don't mind.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (7 December 2009):
You look into a mirror, forgive yourself, accept it has happened and go and find a nice guy who'll love you. Get to know a guy first next time around, and remember there is no rush. And you're not dumb. You aren't the first, you won't be the last person (it happens to men too) who gave it to someone they regret it with. Forgive yourself
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A
female
reader, RichTea +, writes (7 December 2009):
 Your right, the only thing you can do is learn from this and move forward.
Maybe the lesson to learn here is that you should always do what you think is right, not just go with the flow. Also that you should get to know someone before you do anything serious.
Well obviously there is the fact that you did it and now your feeling bad. Well, that was what i was like. I rushed into it with my boyfriend and now i feel that maybe i should have waited because me and my boyfriend have broken up because of it.
Its not a nice feeling when it happens and it does really hurt. Have you spoke to anyone about it. Why not try talkin to a friend or relative. This is always a good thing to do.
Good Luck and I hope you start feeling better soon
x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2009): Realize that he is going to laugh about the next day with all his friends.
So you need to tell everyone he knows how lousy in the sack he is. Then you will realize that it is always the woman who has power in a (consensual) sex.
Happy non virgin. And don't worry about being dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb. Either you will learn from this or you won't. Either way, life is good!
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