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He doesn't want to date but wants to "hang out" should I?

Tagged as: Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 March 2012) 7 Answers - (Newest, 2 March 2012)
A female Canada age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I was seeing this guy for almost two months. Everything was going great but he told me he wasnt ready for a relationship at the moment and wants to see other people but he still wants us to hang out. Should i continue to be friends with him or just stop talking to him all together?

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (2 March 2012):

So_Very_Confused agony auntI would not hang out... it's hard to go back to being friends after being more than friends...

it rarely works out.

say thank you and move on.

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A male reader, Tom Obler  United Kingdom +, writes (2 March 2012):

Tom Obler  agony auntHello,

If you really like him, DO NOT do the friendship thing. It is a codeword for I am not into you for a relationship. You will waste months and years hanging around in false hope and real despair. However, if you don't mind the platonic thing then that's fine but do not go along with in hope of a future relationship as that will not happen. Thanks.

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A female reader, Denise32 United States +, writes (2 March 2012):

Denise32 agony auntHe's telling you he isn't ready for a relationship. What that basically means is that he's not ready for one with you.

However, he wants to keep his options open in case dating other girls doesn't work out.

If you and he have had sex, then the general understanding is that neither of you is supposed to be dating anyone else.

Sort of makes you exclusive even if you haven't actually discussed it together.

So, it really depends on what you want.

Do you want to have him as a boyfriend, or would being platonic friends be okay with you?

It's your call.

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A female reader, Deagan United States +, writes (2 March 2012):

Deagan agony auntSave yourself the trouble, it's going to be hard maintaining a friendship when you like him but he doesn't like you back the way you want.

It's best you stop talking to him, he's made it very clear that he is not interested in dating you, and he made it clear in the nicest way possible.

Sorry, but good luck.

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A female reader, maverick494 United States +, writes (2 March 2012):

I think you should make it clear what you want. Considering his responses, there are basically two possibilities here:

#1. He's too chicken to admit the truth, which is that he's not interested

#2. He "wants to keep his options open," which basically means having you around while he also dates other women.

So be straight with him. As him if this "not ready for a relationship" really means "not with you".

Now, if it turns out he's not interested in you romantically, and you're not looking for friendship only with him, I wouldn't "hang out" with him after that because it's never going to work. Friendships between men and women only work when they both feel the same about each other.

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A female reader, babygirllovej Canada +, writes (2 March 2012):

babygirllovej agony auntHello,

It depends really. Do you want to be friends or do you want a relationship? If you want to be friends then go for it but I suggest being careful so you DON'T turn it into a friends with benefits situation. Don't cross the line if you are just friends or you could get hurt.

However if you want a relationship then I would stop seeing him as he clearly told you hew does not want one.

Good Luck!

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A female reader, CollegeCutie Canada +, writes (2 March 2012):

CollegeCutie agony auntit depends how great of a guy you think he is.is he worth waiting for? or is he just a good guy right now.

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