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age
26-29,
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writes: DearCupid I have depression and i have been to the doctor and becuse am under 18 (am 17) they wont prescibe antidepressants to me. I feel awful i am constaly told at home how useless i am and made to feel i worthless i am. I desperatly want to find love i know this sounds silly at my age but i have never had a boyfriend which is sad cuz am lonley and i was to have my first kiss. My dream is to be happy be married with this greate guy who will tell me he loves me every night before we go to bed and when we wake up in the morning. That is all i want just to be happy and be in my soulemates arms. But right now i feel like i will never be happy and no one will ever love me i have the worst style which is why boys dont look at me twice and i dont have a job i feel so ugly compared to my cousin who get fit guys and me nothing. This depression is eating me up it slowly eating away my comfiden and my self esteem sooner or later i will have nothing i feel like no on is every going to love me.
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confidence, cousin, never had a boyfriend, self esteem Reply to this Question
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female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (5 March 2012):
 You are very welcome and it is my pleasure. You really can make things work for yourself if you work hard and don't let others hold you back. There is so much help available for people your age and yes, the world is your oyster honey and you can go as far as you wish.
If you ever need an encouraging word or want to come tell me how you get on I will be very interested to know and you can always mail me here at DC because i think I shall be here forever xxxxxxx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you soooo much AuntyEm that was a fantastic advice i feel like i can do anything now you are so totally righ am going to go out there are achive all my dreams people can say negative things they want about me i dont carfe anymore because i am better than what they all say. ONE day am going to sit down with my husband and tell him how silly i was when i was younger. Thank you AuntyEm i feel so much better i feel like the world's my oyster i will never forget your adive and going to contact chidline and connextions to see if i can get some help. Thank you
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (2 March 2012):
You know what...life is a funny old thing. There are no guarantees for anyone (not even your perfect cousin) that all will be perfect in the end and life is almost NEVER perfect for anyone, not even the most beautiful attractive successful people.
You have suffered and been told bad things from your family (this happens to lots of people because again, families arn't perfect) and this can make you feel like you are not good enough...but (and it's a huge but) the one person who can and will love you forever and help you is YOU.
When we feel low and unloved we often think being in a relationship will cure all our problems, but because we are a sad and lonely person who doesn't really like ourself, we don't attract anyone to us. When nobody is attracted to us we then feel worse and worse and worse so its a viscious circle.
You need to shut out all that is going on around you and focus on yourself and how you would like the world to see you (not who you are with). There are many things you can do to compat depressive feelings and two of the most simple ones are sleep and exercise (one helps the other). Try and stick to a healthy diet and allow yourself time to have some deep relaxation (a candle lit bath is blissful).
If you are having problems at home you need to contact one of the many UK young adult organisations like CHILDLINE or connextions who will be able to put you in touch with free counselling. They can also help you get onto work programs and college courses and all this will boost your self esteem.
http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/YoungPeople/index.htm
Once you feel a bit more in control of your life and have a few goals you will feel so much better and the thoughts that only a relationship will save you will fade. If you do begin to get out more you will naturally meet new friends away from your unhappy home environment and that can also give you a boost.
You are almost an adult and eventually you will be out on your own and not have to suffer abuse at home but you must accept responsibility for making these changes yourself because it is YOUR LIFE and ONLY YOU can live it. Nobody else is going to make it happen for you and there are many adults out there sitting and scratching their lonely unachieving butts wondering why their lives are so shit...and it's mostly because they didn't help themselves and expected someone to come rescue them (this never happens in the real world).
I also recommend that you go to the library and read a book by Constance Briscoe called 'UGLY'. Its a true life story about a young girl who was abused by her mother and was almost a servant in her own home (In the UK). She felt ugly and alone but she struggled and fought to get through college and university, escaped from her abusive family and became a barrister. She also found love and had a child. It's a very inspiring story and just goes to show what you can achieve whilst coming from a very sad and underpriviledged background.
Be bold, be strong, don't be lazy with your life because before you know it...it's over and you HAVE TO steer your own ship and make your own happiness.
OK lecture over baby girl...now go do it!!!
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