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Baby mama drama makes me doubt my boyfriend

Tagged as: Dating, Family<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 February 2009) 3 Answers - (Newest, 20 February 2009)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

me an my bf have been together for 2 years. he has a son and has full custody of him--mother has visitation rights. i have a hard time dealing with the situation. he tells me there's nothing to worry about because he loves me and he's with me. but how am i suppose to not worry when the ex sleeps over my bfs parents' house to be with her son? how am i suppose to not worry when my bfs parents hate me so much and favors the baby mama over me? she uses my bf for everything esp. after her bf broke up with hr bec she was cheating.

i try so hard to accept everything but i can't help to doubt my bf. it's hard not to get upset esp when people treat me like crap, but i love my bf that's why i'm still here. i don't wanna leave him. please help me handle the situation better...i don't know what to do anymore...thank you.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

thank you. my boyfriend knows though how i feel about the situation...he knows the solution too to this problem. he just got this new job recently and is hoping to save up money so they--him and his son, can move out of parents' house and be with me in future. you see, one thing i forgot to say is that he hates being home. the only reason why he's been home is bec. the grandparents take care of the kid while he's at work. he could not stand being with his own mother. he tells me i just need to be patient..but my question is...is it worth it? is it worth the hurt and the misery? he assures me that there's nothing between him and the baby mama but how do i know that? esp after i decided not to go to his house anymore. the only time is see him is the weekend when he doesn't have to wake up at 4 am.i isolated myself from his parents but i'm isolating him too and it hurts so much.i know it's a very complicated matter. i didn't bargain for this...all i wanted is to loved.

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A female reader, hrnts4 United States +, writes (18 February 2009):

First let me tell you it is not normal for the baby's mother to sleep at his place to see the child. Second it is very difficult to have a relationship work when the family does not like you and your bf lives at home. Perhaps you need to talk to your bf about this. Is there a good reason the family dislikes you, or did you just come in when they had just split? These are things you need to find think about. Whatever reason you need to discuss this with him and help resolve this issue, maybe that would help with the ex sleeping over. I would not be comfortable at all with this situation, but you also need to remember that she is an ex for a reason. If you really want this to work you need to talk things through. I would be careful how you approach this, be sure not to accuse him just talk to him.

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A female reader, huneygyrl United States +, writes (18 February 2009):

huneygyrl agony auntIs that what you want to deal with for the rest of your life?

Your boyfriend is going to have a different kind of love for his kids mother, they have kids together.

You are too young to be going through issues like that.

You have some serious thinking to do.

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