Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2011): Thank you everyone. I am the OP. Everyone said the same thing and I do feel better. I was feeling like a jerk. I guess I still let her get to me. Thanks again, really.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (11 July 2011):
 I agree you are being more than fair. and she's being a jerk.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2011): You are right. She is wrong and wanted to use you to get freebie jobs done.
...............................
A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (11 July 2011):
 Starts out as an odd job for an ex, then it turns into a regular thing... even you can see that happening, and I'm guessing you don't want that.
Gotta draw the line sometime and right after a break up is when it should be drawn.
Good for you aye.
...............................
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (11 July 2011):
 I agree with Annalisa and Birdy.
...............................
A
female
reader, VSAddict +, writes (11 July 2011):
 The relationship is over. She can't expect you to work for her for free just because you two once loved each other. That's ridiculous. Let her know that if she can't accept that she's not a free customer then she can find someone else.
...............................
A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (11 July 2011):
 What is the statute of limitation on being obligated to help out an ex with a 'Honey Do' list after a bad breakup?
There is no obligation. You absolutely said/did the right thing by stating clearly "I was qualified to do this, I normally got paid for this; but I wish there to be No Hard Feelings between us. I would be happy do this work for you if you pay me and we each get something out of it."
Otherwise, you would just be willing to be her doormat, right?
You handled it brilliantly.
You are right.
...............................
A
female
reader, Tbosse  +, writes (11 July 2011):
 Dont get used.she either pays you or she gets another plumber
...............................
A
female
reader, Fxfearas +, writes (11 July 2011):
Your not being a jerk, she just trying to guilt trip u! if ur relatioship hadn't ended badly it would have been different, but not to talk, then to assume you'll come right over and help..is different. If you have kids together then that can change a situation, I don't blame you asking for some money, I would feel used too! Good luck with everything!
...............................
A
female
reader, hannah76  +, writes (11 July 2011):
 Hello,
I wouldn't bother if I were you. She is using you for free work as she has run out of options. When you mentioned the money, she suddenly showed her true personality. Don't bother now.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2011): No you are not being a jerk. I would charge her also, but to be real....I would tell her to call someone else....another repair man
...............................
A
female
reader, Lizzy111 +, writes (11 July 2011):
I see nothing wrong with that, ex owes nothing to other ex for free and shouldn't ask anything from each other too...so don't let her make you feel guilty...
...............................
A
female
reader, SeriouslyStephanie +, writes (11 July 2011):
 You're not being a jerk, she is trying to take advantage of the free help. Tell her if she does not want to pay then she will have to find someone else because to do the work for free! You are absolutely right in saying that you want to keep boundaries between you. So no, you are NOT being a jerk!!!
...............................
| 