A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together for two years. He's bisexual and I have never had a problem with it. He's never cheated on me with a guy, although in the past he cheated on me twice with the same girl. Anyways, the other night while we were out after having a few drinks, he brought up the fact that one of his co-workers had asked all of the third shift workers what their penis sizes were. When I told him that I was totally upset by this, he tried to reassure me by telling me that this was normal guy talk, but while he was telling me this, he was acting really nervous, doing the whole nervous laugh thing and not looking at me. Then last night he brought up the idea of having a "third shift sleepover" at our house sometime this week on a day that I have to work, but he's planning on having it after I leave for work. Everyone he works with on third shift is either bi or gay. (Not and exaggeration). I am a little concerned that he is or is going to cheat on me with one of the guys he works with. Should I be concerned?
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female
reader, 2confused137 +, writes (2 December 2007):
 I think that yes,you should be concerned but if you have been going out with this man for a while and you love him or care about him then you shouldnt be worried. I am guessing he has the same feelings for you but then again,why are you with this man if he cheated on you? I would kick him to the curb lol but i wouldnt be so worried, just a little bit. I think you should check on him every once in a while. Calling him or if you have a long enough break go and check.I also think you should suggest that the "sleepover" should be after you are off work. Or it just shouldnt happen.
A
female
reader, missmel34  +, writes (2 December 2007):
 Ummm......sleepover, its not 3rd grade. I think definitely no! Adults don't have sleepovers??? Do they?? .....its a kid thing isn't it? Only time I've had a sleepover as an adult is visiting an interstate friend or if I'm having sex that night...hmmm....its got me suspicious.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (2 December 2007):
 I have a gut feeling that you do have reasons to be concerned.
He wants to have a sleepover precisely when you won't be there. I don't think that's mere chance. What he wants is to have his coworkers at home, with all the freedom that allows, without YOUR seeing it.
I'm not sure about other cultures, but, where I live, men do not discuss the size of their penises. Doing that would be like manifesting too much interest in another man's private parts. I can't know what things are like in the United States, but, I think the motivation to ask for somebody else's penis size would be the same, a particular interest in the subject. This is my gut feeling.
In this same line of thought, I don't think he made the comment about what his coworker said just out of the blue. Maybe he's been thinking about that for a long time and he felt like he had to bring it up.
If he's cheated on you with another girl, then he might cheat on you with a man, too, since he is bisexual. You don't know if he's cheated on you again. This doesn't mean you should be certain he has, but, you need to accept as a reality that he could cheat again.
So, the interest in the size of other men's penises, and his wish to have a meeting with those men when you won't be home, are suggestive of a gay interest. I can't be sure, of coure, but that's what it suggests.
If I were you, I would disagree very much with the "sleepover" thing.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (2 December 2007):
 Penis size talk, well I don't think you have much to be concerned about here. I work at an men's underwear boutique with all gay men (except for one of them) and they talk about the raunchiest things. None of them have ever hooked up... but they certainly are open about talking!
It's sort of like when me and my girlfriends get together and we compare boobs (come on, you know you do it with your girlfriends too... and if you don't, I know I'm not crazy and other chiquitas do it too).
The "third shift sleepover" sounds like he may just be trying to have fun and at least he's telling you about all of this. But if you aren't comfortable, let him know. I think I wouldn't be cool with that either... at least not with his track record.
I don't think he's cheating on you. I wouldn't think that he would except for his track record isn't so great - cheating on you twice with another girl? Grr... I hope he groveled for you back.
Good luck, sweetness.
xxIndia
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A
female
reader, bqagirl2692 +, writes (2 December 2007):
 Well it does seem to be a little suspicious to me. He gave you a reason to be cocerned and to have lost trust in him. You are aware of his sexual status and to me he disrespected you when he was discussing to other men who are also bi or gay about how big their penis's are. Be very careful with this guy. He cheated on you twice so he can do it again. Let him know how you feel about the situation and that you dont like the fact about having a Third Shift sleepover. Let him know that he needs to start respecting you as his girlfriend and as a person. Investigate more on your boyfriend and all his little " Third Shift Buddies".
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