A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am just wondering how many relationship that have broken up due to one partner's depression. Who broke up with whom, and when when the others depression was better did you end up getting back together? Can a relationship be fixed if one partner needed out to fix their depression? What are everyones experience with this?
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female
reader, EtTuBrute +, writes (21 October 2010):
 I'm bipolar and when I get really depressed, fights happen often. They're always my fault and most of the time ridiculous. When I'm depressed, I lose touch with reality.
I usually tell him to leave me because he doesn't deserve to have to put up with me. He always would come over the second I said that and hold me. I would calm down and he'd ask me if I meant what I said. Of course, I'd say no. I love him so much and I would be heartbroken if he actually left me because of something I said when I was depressed.
At the beginning of our relationship, I was honest with him and we talked about my disorder. I warned him that fights like this would happen and that I would say things I didn't mean. I told him that I would be a handful and trust me, I have been. It took me an entire year to trust him but now that I do, our relationship is great. He's helping me set goals and realize what I have to do to obtain them.
Our fights because of my depression occur less and less frequently now. I'm slowly healing with his help. It does take time, patience, and understanding. If you can't help yourself, others won't be able to help you. Your boyfriend or girlfriend is not the cure to solving your problem but they are your support system on the road to recovery.
I sought help because I knew that if I didn't, it would tear us apart. I don't want that for us or for myself. I may have went into therapy because of us, but it's helping me get better.
I went through a lot of guys before I meant this one. If a guy wasn't going to stay, he would be gone in a couple of months. Most guys couldn't handle it especially since I'm younger and the guys I was dating were too.
A
female
reader, Prncess +, writes (21 October 2010):
I think that depression can definately damage a relationship if not cured. I, myself, go through periods of depression in our marriage and realize that it takes away alot of happiness from each other. I feel as if im constantly bringing my partner down with me, even though he tries his best to put a smile on my face. Depression only leads to arguments and making rash decisions that can have dangerous consequences. And yes, I believe any relationship can fixed with enough effort from both partners.
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A
female
reader, Kat_M_2011 +, writes (21 October 2010):
 Hey! I have suffered for years with depression, due to a dating relationship. I think a dating relationship, of fine sturdy foundation, can work through the depression and build up the depressed person.
But my story was I got dumped for my depression. He didnt know how to handle a depressed girlfriend cause he felt as though he was doing nothing to help me and nothing to support me, when breaking up with me only made it worse. Depression can take a toll on even the most sturdy relationship. If one partner feels helpless in seeing their lover hurting and they don't know how to reply, a distance builds between the two, and eventually the bond between you two fades out. But I think all relationships can be fixed. If you'r struggling with depression, see a councelor. talk to someone. Don't make it a burden in your dating life. Only you can fix you. But a relationship can easily be fixed even going through depression I promise
Hope this helps :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionJust to clarify my boyfriend left me because of his depression not mine. He said he needed a break to sort of his depression and get over it. Even though we both have depression. I have decide to go get counseling for mine though. We were both really happy together before his depression. I think it is just his job and the fact we were going to get married this summer and we were financially stable to get married. He didn't say he didn't want us to be together just right now he needs to get his head on straight and we may be together again in the future..
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male
reader, Ven +, writes (21 October 2010):
I have never been in a relationship where one of us was depressed, but my best friend is and I've been close by as he has gone through several relationships.
It is my opinion that depression is a strain on a relationship, but is only a serious issue when the depressed person expects their partner to be the solution. If someone is depressed, they are the only person who can fix their problem. When they rely on a relationship to magically fix them, it is an unhealthy dependency just like an addiction to medication or therapy.
In the case of getting back together afterward, I don't see it happening very often. When depression is a real issue in your life and you aren't dealing with it properly, dating is going to be a crutch. You really aren't trying to date someone who makes you happy, you are trying to date someone who makes you less depressed. Once they have managed their depression, people often realize that their old partners are not the kind of people who make them happy.
Overall however, you must realize that each person and their depression is different.
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A
female
reader, KaileyLove  +, writes (21 October 2010):
 I had 2 relationships damaged because of depression.The first one was my fault. I was going through a hard time and my boyfriend was NOT taking things easy on me, in fact, we fought a lot. Eventually all good things come to an end, and I broke off our relationship. About 2 months later I started talking to my ex again as friends. I apologized for my behavior and explained that I knew I was out of line and I sought help. I proved that I was completely better by being my old positive self again. We WERE going to go back out, but I refused because (secretly) I think he caused my depression.My next one was that my ex was depressed and would pick fights with me all the time. He'd call me terrible names, and we'd be on and off again ALL the time. I ended it due to the emotional abuse. Unfortunately, he's not cured and I don't think he ever will be, but despite all that happened I still want a relationship with him, depression or not.I think a rleationship can be fixed if the partner knows and accepts that they need help and will do everything in their power to be fixed and fix that relationship. It's most definately possible.
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male
reader, MikeEa1  +, writes (21 October 2010):
 It has had an effect on my relationship. My wife has depression and has had a few episodes. They were hard to get through especially for her. She also is a bit manic which leads her out of depression but can cost a lot of money. I'm currently considering my future or lack of it with this woman. I don't think there's much hope. If she's not depressed she's spending money like crazy. I love her to death but can't cope with her. She will only seek minimal medical intervention.
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female
reader, asian tealeaf +, writes (21 October 2010):
 a partner can for a time, be patient and understanding and sympathetic,but, only for a time... a lot of people cannot handle the emotional rolloercoaster that comes with depression, its very hard and especially if the other partner is an extremly happy person who floats along in life very happily, my bf is just like that, and once upon a time i was going thru a lot of unhappiness and depression, and he could not handle it, and told me that he loves me so much, but he cant and wont be with someone whos just not happy because my raincloud was sucking away his sunshine...and that of our family. and he would not subject himself or our kids to that, he had many exes who suffered clinical depression, (i dont have that) and while he loved them with all his heart, he could not be around that as it drained him and it sucked away at his own happiness. so i had to find a way to get over my issues, or be without a family and a guy who loves me as dearly as he does. and so i have. no matter what, be it weeks months or yrs, eventually one will call it quits as they wqant to be happy, and see that if u cant5 be, thats fine. but they cant and wont be with u. in his case i think he never really got back with any of his exes. and as for us, by the grace of some god, wew are still together...so i dont know if hed come back to me if i recovered or not. i hope i never find out because i do love him. i hope i helped u out.
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