A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I was at my job and starting and about a year and a half ago I noticed what I think is two co-workers flirting with one another. One of them is married and I know the partner. If you were in a position to tell the married partner whether there was something going on what would you do? They often giggle and laUgh together and sometimes get very close to one another. They sometimes sit very close together at breaks. I am not sure if there is something going on or not . What would you think? I am not sure if I should say something to his partner. Often they are not together but are sometimes chatting and laughing and sitting together at breaks and so on. The other has a relationship but is not married. I am wondering if you think they are having an affair or are just friends.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2010): If you know the person's partner like a best friend, then yes, have a quiet word. Ask what they know about the co-worker in question. If it was my best friend, of course I would say something. I have a partner and I wouldn't dream of flirting with another man at work - flirtations by their very nature tend to lead to other things. There is a big difference between getting on with a co-worker and flirting with a co-worker and your gut instinct, which we women do not trust enough, is clearly trying to tell you something. If someone tried to flirt with me at work, I would cut them dead and probably avoid them. Especially the guys that check your tits out as you walk past - Yucccckkkkkkkk. You obviously don't have to say you think they are having an affair, because you don't know the facts, but you can still ask the partner what they know of the co-worker? If intentions are good and done with a good heart, then it will all work out well in the end.
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (19 May 2010):
 See no evil, hear no evil and speak no evil and life will be more peaceful and pleasant.
Do not go looking for troubles or troubles will find you .
Do not meddle in other's affairs . They will reap what they sow.
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A
female
reader, Neera  +, writes (19 May 2010):
I personally believe that we shouldn't poke our noses into others' problems.
I don't think it matters either way - whether they are friends or lovers, how would that affect you?
My dad was having an affair with a lady at work,and most of my dad's colleagues knew my mom, but none of them said anything to her. She found out many years later. But in the interim, things were fine at home, we grew up without problems and my dad was a big support to my mom when she struggled with her illness later in life.
Had someone told her earlier, my parents would probably have fought about it, even separated, and who would that have helped?
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (19 May 2010):
 I agree that this is none of your business.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2010): You really can't tell from flirting if two people are having an affair. Many people flirt with other people whilst in a relationship...it does not mean that they would cheat.
I think it is best not to say anything as it could cause problems in their relationship for what could be no reason. Also, you would end up being the bad guy to all involved.
If you knew for certain that they were having a relationship....that is a different story, but from what you have said it is all heresay at the moment.
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A
female
reader, Aeval  +, writes (19 May 2010):
 I dont really think it is any of your business. They maybe just good friends. Stay out of it, you may end up causing problems for a couple and they are unfounded. let them sort it out themselves
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A
male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (19 May 2010):
 I wouldn't say anything at all. In the end it could just end up causing you problem in the work place that you don't deserve. The one doing the flirting will obviously be mad with you but the person you tell may also take their anger out on you. Unless the person you would tell is a good friend of yours its not your place to bring this upon them. They could be just friends and then you're in trouble. If they are having an affair things will work out how they are supposed to without your interference.
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A
male
reader, The Great Mark Says +, writes (19 May 2010):
 just chatting and laughing and sitting together at breaks isnt even close to crossing the line. you need to give us some more info to even consider this. from just that it sounds like they just enough each other as friends. if you can provide us with anything more concrete than that. then just relax and stop thinking about it. i guess the biggest question is do they meet outside of work?
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