A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:[MOD NOTE] 2 questions combined.can some guys (girls welcome too of course) explain to me how is it that alot of guys would literately have sex with any one. alot of guys can literately be walked up to, and if us girls wanted to, we could have sex with them. as i am a girl, i find it hard to have sex with just anyone, let alone someone i dont know. i could see a really sexy guy, and if he asked me to have sex with him and i didnt know him, my opinion on him would instantly change for worse, but about every guy i know says theyd have sex with a girl as long as she consented, even if they didnt know her. are most single guys really that care free about it? i want to know whats behind them being that way. (not hatin, just dont get it, thats all)i want to know why guys who cheat, get mad if they get cheated on. it doesnt seems to make since to me at all. is it because they find cheating wronge, but they do it anyways, then they hope you dont, or is it because they think it should have been better hiden, kinda like how they always try to hide it themselves. my question is basically, do cheaters only find it wronge when its found out by the other person? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, defeated  +, writes (27 November 2010):
yes you are right cheaters, people who have mutable sex partners with no emotional attachments dont think it is wrong untill they either get caught or try to settle down
who would want to be with someone if they are ridden more than a bus route
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2010): I too beg differ Danileepew. The statement I made was merely that those figures were non representative.
Of course there are lots of men who wouldn't and there are lots of situations where a guy who would, would choose not to.
It's never as simple as saying every guy would. Of course not.
But in my experience, if a heterosexual single girl approached a heterosexual single guy for sex. The majority of those guys wouldn't turn them down. As long as they were both normal, not heroin addicts, morbidly obese, etc etc.
I also think even more guys would consider it if the woman was very attractive, including a hell of a lot of guys that are spoken for.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2010): It's probably because most the guys are early 20's or late teens and are immature and think being a slag makes you more of a man
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female
reader, largentsgirl89 +, writes (27 November 2010):
 You know I don't think that is true. I honestly think it depends on the man and who he is as a person, I also think he it has something to do with how they were raised as well (most of the time anyway). Religion can also play a very big role in how men (and women) perceive sexual relations with one another.
I know men that will sleep with anything that walks and has a vagina, just so they can add another notch to their bed post and have more bragging rights than the other guys. These are the type of guys who think it's a status symbol that is based on how many sexual partners that you have had.
But I also know men who will wait for years on end for that right woman to come along before they every engage in any sexual activity. The men who are serial monogamists in their relationships.
There are also men who will go through a phase in which they sleep with random women (who proposition them) and they don't even know their names, because they are going through a very emotional time and they don't know how else to deal with it.
I don't really fully understand why men get upset when they are cheated on when they do the exact same thing. I think cheating is wrong. If you want to sleep with someone else, then break up with the person you are with and move on. It's that simple.
Most men who cheat are insecure, bored or just all around confused. Karma usually comes around and kicks them in the face though.
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female
reader, sarahlynn +, writes (27 November 2010):
 I am not saying that all men are like that, but for every 10 men that I meet, there are about half of them that would have sex with any girl upon asking. Some men just like sex, it is true. You can find almost always find something appealing about a person even if they seem like they wouldn't be sexually attractive at first. I thought that women were more emotional than men, but that is not always true. stereotypes of men and women aren't always true. I am strong and resilient while my kid's father is emotional and can't handle stress very well. My father on the other hand is just like me and my mother is just like my kid's father. I don't know. This seems like kind of a question where people would go in circles about.
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male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (27 November 2010):
 Cerberus, I beg to differ with you about that every man would sleep with any woman IF OFFERED. Would you sleep with, say, your brother's wife?
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2010): male anon, these figures you state don't prove that men wouldn't sleep with anyone IF OFFERED. "The average number of sex partners for the American male in a whole lifetime is around 4-8 depending on whose numbers you want to believe"
That statistic involves women too. It proves only the amount of sex partners they've had. Not how may they would have had if women actually went around straight up asking strangers for sex.
I when single and all my other male friends when single would have sex anywhere with most women on the asking.
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female
reader, sarahlynn +, writes (27 November 2010):
I think I can answer this question for you. Besides insecurity, there are a couple of other very logical reasons. When a guy wants to look like he isn't sensitive when, in fact, they are very sensitive, he will tell a woman that he doesn't care just to come off or look a certain way to woman: like he is tough. This does one of two things: it either makes you, the woman, run the other way, or it makes your competitive side kick in, thinking you could totally make this guy stay with you(and he is oh! so gorgeous). Sometimes woman like the difficult men, but it just makes you look like the fool in the end.
Another reason is that he is hurting inside. My oldest brother was cheated on by his fiance when he was just 18 years old and they took each others' virginity and they seemed like they were so in love. Subsequently, he broke up with her because of obvious trust reasons and has slept with over 200 women since. I don't even try to remember their names anymore. He is trying to find a woman who can fix his broken heart. And my brother is a very sensitive guy, not somebody you would think would sleep with anybody.
I believe that there are bad men out there who view women as somewhat of a game: no respect there! To those men, women are objects of lust, not people. And then the way women look when they go out anywhere nowadays is somewhat appalling. No offense but if you dress to impress: try to impress yourself, and nobody else. A little off subject, but important nonetheless.
Another reason is that the man, when he was a boy, was not brought up properly and when he was older, noticed that there were others like him so he must be somewhat normal.
And the answer to your "cheater" question. Of course they only find it cheating when you do it because they only respect themselves as a person, and they are in denial. How could they be wrong when they are the one that was hurt or sensitive. The answer to "why" is kind of a difficult thing to conjure up because we all come from some different kind of background and story, so you can only do one thing, keep your eyes our for players: they are the ones that are out looking for women while the ones that you women are looking for are out to be with their friends.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2010): The stereotype about men is not true. Just look at the plain old facts.
The average number of sex partners for the American male in a whole lifetime is around 4-8 depending on whose numbers you want to believe (and whether you think men or women are doing more lying since their numbers don't match each other.) There have been numerous studies over the past several decades and the numbers are never too far off this range.
If every man you know seems to have numbers way higher than this, then it indicates that you are not aware of an even greater number of men who have lower numbers of partners. And remember those stats were for the LIFETIME average of all ages. If you know mostly young men then their average would be even lower.
The stereotype persist because nobody wants to be the ones to fight it. Men want to be masculine and being a slut is part of the image. Women are more attracted to men who get lots of other women. Promiscuous women point to this stereotype about men to excuse their behavior as if normal men were all just as loose as they are.
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male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (26 November 2010):
You're wrong. It is simply NOT true that a man would have sex with ANYONE. Men would have sex with lots of women; but that does not make it ANYONE.
Men have to get women's consent to have sex. If you don't consent to it, it's called harassment and a man could pay dearly for it these days. But, beyond that, unless the relationship is violent, it's always the woman who consents to sex. Is it that difficult to understand, then, that many a man will sleep with someone who is willing to sleep with him?
I won't give names, of course, but there are some women I wouldn't ever have sex with.
As to why cheaters get angry if they get cheated on, it's very simple: they are human, too, and they feel hurt. Obviously they don't think it's wrong to inflict that same pain on someone else.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2010): Oh another point about monogamy. It is a means for the intelligent man to make sure his child raised well and inherits both his genes, title and wealth. It was a man's world so it was very important to pass on these generationally through bloodlines through male heirs. Women for millennium, and in a lot of countries still are, only property to be traded like cattle.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2010): yeah most of us when single would have sex at the drop of a hat with a girl we found attractive and very often with ones we don't.
We're designed that way biologically emotionally and psychologically. We can ejaculate lots of times in one day. Multiple times an hour. When you think that the whole biological idea of that is to impregnate a woman and we could technically impregnate multiple women in a day then you start you to get the picture. We can't carry the child, after insemination biologically we're done. Whereas women can only get pregnant once, by one guy every 9 months, so women have to be selective in order to find a mate that has the best possible to genes.
For guys in our most primal states as humans were designed as numbers machine, the more women we impregnate the more our genes get spread, plus with infant mortality rates the way they were exceptionally bad, it was very common for women to have 10-15 children all still born in their lifetime, or have one pregnancy go wrong and be sterile, or give birth to 10 children and only one survive to adulthood. So for the male the more women, the better that chances and for women the better and stronger the man, the more likely his child would be too.
Of course the concept of monogamy is a cultural thing and solely designed to ensure the purity of bloodlines. So important to status and power but throughout history monogamy has mainly been forced on women, men could pretty much do as they pleased unless bound by a marriage contract and the woman's family were of status.
Modern men and women like to think we've evolved or are enlightened beyond that now, and to a certain extent we have and we have the cognitive abilities to overcome these urges but most people don't use them.
No cheaters don't only feel bad when caught, they very often feel bad by the act itself, some don't ever feel bad at all.
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A
male
reader, ljhenhmla +, writes (26 November 2010):
for guys and girls sex have different meaning for guys sex is just that sex it more physical like a notch on there belt to say i was wit her. but for girls it more emotional and it more complex as a girl you would know. also when a person cheats it because they make the choice it may be just the change that they won't get caught.
if this is the relationship you are in it would be best to let it go becasue if you keep making excuse for him that it just all men then your saying it alright.
let him know what goes around comes around
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