A
female
age
30-35,
*&M 185
writes:I need opinions here! Do you think it is possible for a guy and a girl to just be friends or is there always/almost always romantic feelings at some time for the other person? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, marisangel08  +, writes (22 September 2007):
i don't know if a guy and girl can be just friends I was really close to this guy this year we were like best friends he was the one i told everything to and you don't find that very often now I never thought I could like a friend like this I had guy friends before who I never liked so this is different his name is mike and he use to call me like every night around 2 in the morning we would talk about anything I loved that we even use to kiss and cuddle when we would be at his house and being alone in my car he'd even hold my hand, at the mall too so I really began falling for him he's a good looking guy and to me the combination of the two was hard for me to just keep it at a friendship level. He would tell me he liked me to my face and say all these sweet things it was like it wasn't even real but it was he made me feel so special he even told me he liked me in front of his friends and most guys don't do that but just a few months ago he ended our friendship and that he never wanted to see me again or to be close again but it's been hard I really like him and I still do I miss him and I don't know I might have loved him because I felt he did too, but I was wrong I guess was what we had a FWB thing or was that something else I don't even know I just wish I had a chance to be with him I guess things like that can't happen o well.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2007): i think they can be friend but I was just in something where I was really close friends with this guy for a whole year he was like a best friend kind of but it's kind of weird because he would call me every night around 2 in the morning we'd even kiss & cuddle and share things with each other this made me start developing feelings for him because I thought he had feelings for me too he even said that he liked me to my face and even in front of his friends but a few months ago he ended our friendship and doesn't want to be close anymore and i'm not sure why since he was the one who was doing all of that I would never of liked him if I didn't think he was trying to pursue me and what he did are good signs that he liked me more than just a friend am i right or wrong for feeling this way and now it's taking a real long time for me to get over him I moved on but I still think about him and miss him i think i might even of loved him and that's scary for me because I never been in love before and I never thought it would happen over a friend or something unless its what you called friends with benefits but I dont know I thought it was developing into something more but obv I was so wrong :(
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2007): Ah, this seems to be one of life's great questions. I guess from reading these answers that it varies for everyone. Personally I find it hard to be good friends with guys without having any feelings whatsoever for them. I mean, I would go out with most of my guy friends, and not because I haven't got offers from other people, because I've been able to choose them as my friends so they are the kind of people I like. Maybe it depends if you like going out with the same type of people you're friends with, because I know that my friends' personalities are awesome and I'd want a boyfriend like that.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2007): Of course a guy and a girl can be friends, 2 of my very best friends are girls, one of which is married to a very good friend of mine, and one of which is single. Like duce says you have to know where to draw the line. The married girl i talk to every day of the week and her hubby knows we are best of mates, he also knows that nothing more will ever happen, and I know that cos i have no other feelings for her at all.
her sister my other very good friend is single, she I am very fond of and she knows that, however as it stands nothing will ever happen. They say that the best relationships come from being friends to start with, but the hardest thing to do is to take it to the next level from friendship, ie cross that line. I think males would find it harder to be friends with a female without some sort of feelings for her especially if the female is single, if not single then no.
My point is yes they can be friends of course but if they take it to the close friends level I feel that there is some sort of chemistry there.
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A
female
reader, atarisrocks +, writes (6 September 2007):
 yeah im friends with loads of guys and only ever ha feelings for 2 out of like 50 guys ive been friends with over the years
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A
female
reader, penta +, writes (6 September 2007):
 yes, it's possible. I have male friends from college and my husband has female friends from highschool (20 years now). I get along with his female friends (and their husbands) and he gets along with my male friends (and their wives).
It's absolutely possible.
What duce said about respecting their and your partners is crucial, though. Never give your partner (or your friend's partner) any reason to think that there is anything more than friendship. And never try to go the FWB or more than friends route -- it will destroy the friendship in 90% of the cases.
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A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (6 September 2007):
 It's possile to be friends with memebers of the opposite sex. BUT...men can take it to the next level(sex) without any thought.
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A
male
reader, niceguy07 +, writes (6 September 2007):
 I would have to agree with Duce on this. I am actually finding myself having more and more friends who happen to be girls. Whether it be at work or class i find myself talking to more women than men. At first i felt like i was doing something wrong cuz i am not single, but i do not find myself interested in these women in anyway besides a casual friend. Its tricky, but definately, as duce has stated, careful in times of breakups. again reiterating what duce has said, you will find that you wont relate to women as much as you can a fellow man. But i am all for men and women being friends, they can be great help when you need advice from women, duh..lol.
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A
male
reader, duce00 +, writes (6 September 2007):
 Sure men and women can be friends. The catch is how close they are. I have alot of female friends, infact half or more. I can trust them and get good advice and have alot of fun, but there sre certain boundries that cant be crossed or it makes for trouble.
#1 Always respect your partner or theyrs. Dont create grounds for resentment. Yes, this means putting your friendsips second, thats exactly what Im saying.
#2 Careful around times of breakups or relationship trouble (yours or theyrs). Things can get really off and people can make bad sexual decisions.
#3 Women and men can only relate so far. If you think a woman can really understand a man or vise versa your fooling yourself. We are different and thats a very good thing!
Hope my opinions help,
Duce
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A
male
reader, Jamer70 +, writes (6 September 2007):
 correction i put no at the front of my asnwer instead of yes. Yes they can be
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A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit +, writes (6 September 2007):
 Short term, I think it is possible, but long term I don't think so. I think that adults who are in serious relationships, and if they are looking to be monogamous will not be so open to the idea of their spouces hanging out with "friends" of the opposite gender.
-Frank B Kermit
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A
male
reader, Jamer70 +, writes (6 September 2007):
No. Men and woman can be friends and nothing else. I have alot of girl friends who i have no romantic feelings for.
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A
female
reader, Tray-Lou +, writes (6 September 2007):
cause its possible for a guy and a girl to be friends there is no rule. but it sounds to me like you fancy a girl that you are friends with if she feels the same way it sounds like a great idea but make sure she does otherwise there on after it will be really awkward so you have to be sure. but remember if it goes wrong your friendship could be ruined if you dont finish on platonic grounds.
but yes of course you can be friends
good luck
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