A
female
age
30-35,
*ylassie10
writes:Hi everyone. So I have been dating this guy for a little less than a month and it had been going very well. We click so well and have a lot in common and I believe that he likes me a lot. Hes told everyone close to him about me and they all knew my name before I even met them. I spent last weekend with him and went to a wedding as his date. Now a couple days before the wedding I noticed that he glanced at a girl as we were walking so I asked if he was the type of guy who has to look at girls all the time cuz I dont like when Im with a guy and he looks at other girls and he said he wouldnt do that. The next night he was telling is brother law how I asked that question but this time he said yea I like to look around and I didnt like the way he said it and I got a little mad at him but we talked about it and everything was fine..but then two days later he did it. We were waiting on line outside of a hot dog place and we were having a conversation. I notice that he is looking behind me a lot and more so in this one area so I turn around and hes looking at another girl while we are talking and I found it completely disrespectful. Now I have very low self esteem and I feel that if he likes me as much as he says he does and finds me attractive, why does he feel the need to look at another girl especially while im right in front of him, having a conversation?? It has caused a lot of stress for me and it has reminded me of my ex who was very into looks. He admitted he was looking and apologized and told me he was looking at everyone not just her and that he wants to change and doesnt want to hurt me or let this affect the connection we have. I have asked other people about this and they think its disrespectful but not a deal breaker. Now when I went out with him tonight we had a good time and it was the first time we hung out since then but throughout the night, I kept thinking about how he did that. I think hes a great guy but when I think of that my stomach turns and it haunts me. I dont know what do. I wanted to try to give myself some time to see if I can get over it but I cant get the image out of my head of him looking at a beautiful girl while Im looking at him. You think I should try to move past this and continue building the relationship or do I already have my mind made up deep down and Im wasting my time? I do feel paranoid now and I get nervous that if theres an attractive girl around, hes gonna look while im with him and I find myself watching him and waiting to see what hes going to do and I drive myself crazy. I dont want to be one of those crazy jealous girls but I cant help the way I feel. I just cant help but think that if he likes me so much, why do his eyes have to wonder and especially take more than one glance at a girl.
View related questions:
jealous, move on, my ex, self esteem, wedding Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Roshii  +, writes (22 July 2011):
 Hmm this is an interesting situation right here. I'm honestly in two minds about this. lets look at the facts first. Everybody, i dont care if your black, white, male or female. Looks at the opposite sex, its how we are wired. The main differences with this is openness or lets call it tact when doing so. A female is more likely to do something like that with friends not her partner thus creating the illusion that she only looks at him (or her for political correctness's sake)
Men can be quite less tactless or honest as i like to think, where we will look at a woman where ever we are with who ever and believe were not doing any harm.
The thing that's slightly different with what i read seems to be he deliberately increased this actions, And its this Increase that i see as disrespectful (not the action of looking itself.)
You told him you didn't like it and he continues to do it more so than how he did at first.
He obviously (great guy or not) Didn't care that looking made you self conscious.
There's something more important here about weather you choose to forgive and forget or not, and that is your low self esteem. Its apparent in this that that is the root of your insecurities. I would say that it would be quite difficult for you to forget and move forward (in any sense of the word) whilst you have such a low opinion of yourself. I think in order to answer your question you need to start building up your self confidence by doing things that make you feel great as a woman, be it being more active. Dolling your self up what ever floats your boat.
Once you gain in confidence you will find your answer im sure.
Good luck
Roshiii. (feel free to message me if you want more help)
|
