A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am an 18 year old girl who is a virgin. All of my friends have had sexual relations prior to turning 18. They say I am a puritan and should be having sex at my age. I think I am right in that I want to wait until I am married. Am I wrong ? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Rain Flower +, writes (28 February 2011):
 you're very strong for staying a virgin i'll be doinf the same. I admire you, i'm glad your making this desicion.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2011): I have to say that it takes more courage and more confidence to be a virgin. Not many men and women are virgins when they go down the aisle to be married to that wonderful person in front of family and friends. I am a virgin and very proud of it. Many people regret having had sex with prior to marriage. Don't be one of them. Start the Virgin Revolution! I am and I'm taking the town by storm!!!
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female
reader, Inutashy +, writes (28 February 2011):
 I'm 17 and I am planning for no sex till marrige. Actually no more virgins my age, then non virgins. It's your choice and don't do it unless it's what you want, nothing is worse then being pressured into things, especially sex. Nothing is wrong with abstenence. And also it means that it'll be a new experience with your hubby. But if you choose sex that's fine too. It's what you feel is right.
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male
reader, Capri2  +, writes (27 February 2011):
The only person who can judge your sexuality is you. Other people can just give you hints or tell you what they think about you. And you have to take their word for that, a hint or an opinion.What I think is that waiting for losing your virginity with the right person is a good thing. And in the end you will be happier if you wait. Because you can check the internet and read about a lot of people who regret having lost their virginity too soon or with the wrong person.At the same time you have to be aware that one day you will possibly have a serious parter who may have decided differently. For example, someone who lost his virginity when younger. And you should not judge him either.
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male
reader, lkq123 +, writes (27 February 2011):
Well I wish I met a girl like you right now who truely values what sex is. You need to wait till marriage. I for example have a girlfriend who already had a sexual past and am thinking about breaking up with her due to her past (I am virgin and would dream for a virgin wife). Don't give into peer pressure, you are doing the right thing.
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male
reader, Kilcardy +, writes (27 February 2011):
You are not wrong nor a Puritan nor are you "prudish" as someone on here suggested. You're an aware young woman. If all your friends were jumping off a bridge, would you feel you too had to jump off a bridge with them? Of course not. If your friends feel the need to sleep around, that's their business. What you do with your body and brain (because sex also impacts one's emotional well being) is your business. You're making a wise choice. While your friends will be considered all used up by some, you will be the gold standard among them. This is not lost on guys who are serious about getting serious with someone. Good luck, and continue to abide your own good judgment.
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male
reader, jc2008  +, writes (27 February 2011):
not a puritan no, you just have respect for yourself and should be proud at your restraint. If someone loves you enough to want to marry you before sex, they are worth keeping! :-)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2011): HiNo you are not wrong at all...you are been true to yourselfand what you believe is right for you. Only lose your virginity when YOU are ready.....when ever you want and do not feel pressured just because others have lost theirs.I lost mine early, because that choice for me and my boyfriend was right at that time....not because others had or had not had sex, it was not about anybody else or any outside opinions and belief, it was about a boy and a girl who wanted to experience love and sex... i have no regrets and have no after suffering from been a sexual person. I could have waited for my wedding but i would have had a long wait because we never married ...or the next or next ...so i made the right choice for me :) ...you must make the right choice for YOU NEITHER CHOICE is right or wrong in my opinion as long as you are true to you and your values... nobody else's. Have no shame or regrets what ever choice you make.snky monnkey
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male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (27 February 2011):
 Ditto, fi the tree.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2011): You're making a wise decision at a young age. The only things you are missing out on are heartbreak, STDs, and unwanted pregnancy.
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male
reader, dobro +, writes (27 February 2011):
 no, it's fine. i am 21 and a virgin. it doesn't mean that much. I just think it's good to save it until you are with someone that you love
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A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (27 February 2011):
 Your friends are morons. Besides which, a puritan would have been married and have two kids by 18.
Waiting until marriage means you're less likely to divorce and more likely to be satisfied with your sex life after the age of 25 (where, generally speaking, women who've slept around a lot tend to begin experiencing a steady drop in satisfaction).
It will be harder to find a boyfriend, given that you're eliminating all the guys who will only date if sex is involved. But that means the ones who are left will tend to be of higher average quality, and will tend to care about you more. Good luck.
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female
reader, JDinCali +, writes (27 February 2011):
 You're responsible! You're a strong willed woman for making a man prove his love. When you with-hold sex you're telling the guy/man you're worth more than what you can physically give. A man should appreciate the fact you're respecting your body and he should realize this means you'll definitely be loyal to him. After all, Mothers tell their sons, "Don't marry the girl who quickly opens her legs." So, you're playing the love game well. Too many women give into sex and men just expect it now, (not to say most women are easy, just some are more impatient than others ..and 'patience is a virtue..', 'all good things come to those who wait'). However, because your view is in the minority ...you'll have to work hard at validating your love to the prospective husband. Good on you for sticking to what you believe is right!
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female
reader, Tifa02  +, writes (27 February 2011):
 Imagine if you took your friend's advice? In twenty or thirty years are you going to look back and say that was a brilliant idea? Or are you going to be married to the man of your dreams and wish you had saved yourself for him?You feel what you are doing is right by you, don't let them waver your ideals.Maybe in six months or a year you meet a guy, your first real love, and you decide to give yourself to him even if a ring is not in the cards. You will have made that decision and not your friends. Maybe you marry him or perhaps he will be the guy you tell your daughter about, that sweet memory that makes you smile. Not the guy you did it with just to get your friends off your back!You will know when the time is right. Listen to your heart. So far, it seems to be leading you in the right direction.
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male
reader, sevenseals +, writes (27 February 2011):
 No one call tell you when you should have sex but you, yourself.I will say that any perceived notion that sex after marriage "safer," "more desirable," and "morally of good virtue," are completely discredited by evolutionary history, biological necessity and the fact that disease knows no limits of human social construct like marriage.But as a choice, it's one that you're free to make, no matter what reason. Since that is your decision, it's more than likely (if you succeed at finding a partner) that you'll find someone with the exact same opinion. So, yes, you're "puritanical," though it's much more accurate to say that you're prudish. But hey, nothing wrong with that (unless you're attempting to force it onto others as so many zealots do. I trust that you're probably not like that, so all the power to you).
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female
reader, fi_the_tree +, writes (27 February 2011):
 No you are not wrong at all. It is your right to choose to wait until you are married.
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female
reader, GeeGee255 +, writes (27 February 2011):
 No you are just doing what is right for you. And your samrt enough to know that "doing it" just because everyone else is doing it is a stupid and irresponsible thing to do.You are more about yourself then that and you should. Too bad more of your peers aren't as strong intelligent and independant as you are. They would be a lot safer and happier if they were.Oh and just for the record, most girls your age don't even enjoy sex. (they just say they do) Their partners are so young and inexperienced themselves that they don't have clue about how to really please a woman. Next time they get on your nerves about it ask the girl this. Ok, so how many orgasam's did you have the last time you had sex with your boyfriend? Not during foreplay or oral sex, but during intercourse? I bet the answer is never.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2011): Well done...If you are saving yourself for marriage, I encourage you to....You aree saving yourself a whole lot of heartache and pain by showing restraint..My only advice to you is that not to think of yourself as being a puritan but stick to doing what you believe is right and yes you are right...Be careful however when you are ready to settle down to pick a good man who will love, respect you and be committed to marriage and your life together building a family...well done again
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2011): well sweety yes what you are doing is absolutely right you should be waiting for marriage just cos ur friends do it dont do it cos dees days sex is cheap game dont make it one for you..be modest and make your husband proud be being a virgin for him present it as a gift from your side and dear your modesty is your gift its precious so keep it safe@@
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female
reader, ellybabez +, writes (27 February 2011):
 You can loose your virginity whenever you feel like it..you dont have to loose it because all your mates have..do what you thinks best and do it when your ready not when your friends think your ready x
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