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... Send *irtball a private message | | | *irtball's profile:Hello DC. Some of you may be wondering where I were I went. My life has taken a turn that has taken me away from here for the time being. I'm not really answering many questions at this time. If you PM me, I will respond, but it may be delayed a week or two. I had many problems dumped on me of my own, so I don't have much energy for the problems of others. I'll be back, but it just may be a while.
Wow, been away longer than anticipated. To sum it up, life sort of sucks for me at the moment. Not looking for pity, just letting you know why I haven't been around. I still hope things will get better soon, but who knows.
ALERT: If you're sending me a PM in regard to advice I've given you, please reference the thread or specifics so I can be on the same page. Lately I've been receiving lots of PM's with an answer to some question I asked, but since the question was from an Anon poster, I have no idea which answer it was in regard to. I give a lot of advice here, so I'm very sorry if I don't immediately recognize you. The question title or a link would be most appreciated. Thank you!
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Hi, I'm the bad bad charming sweetheart dirtball. Although recently I seem to have picked up the moniker "Dirty Balls" despite making sure to clean them thoroughly each day. Anyway, I love this site. I have a BA in Psychology which is part of the reason I think I like this site so much. I posted anon for quite some time before creating my profile. I took to the brutally honest approach which has gotten me in trouble a few times, but for the most part has gone quite well. I enjoy helping people and at times challenging them when I think it is appropriate.
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I've been getting lots of great feedback on my advice and I appreciate it, even if you didn't like it. With that said, I'd like to add a segment here I'll call (drum roll please)
DIRTBALL'S RULES ABOUT PEOPLE AND DATING (in no particular order)
Men don't befriend women who they are not interested in sexually. What do I mean by this? I mean that men will not actively seek out friends of the opposite sex unless they would like to make the friendship progress further at some point. Plain and simple, that's how we operate. Are there circumstances where they are actually just friends? Yes, those would be times when you are forced together in some way. Examples could be; fellow employees at work, a regular customer at work, shared friend circle. The key to watch for is if he looks to spend time with her alone. That's usually the sign that he has a romantic interest in the relationship.
Long Distance Relationships don't work. Go ahead and tell me your success stories, I don't care. Most of the time it is just way too hard for the parties involved. Too much doubt creeps into the relationship. Plus, can you really call it a relationship if you only get to be together rarely? I think not.
Once broken up, you should stay that way. Make up/break up relationships don't work. Why do you always feel the need to break up? It's because things aren't working. Then you miss each other and get back together, only to have the very thing that drove you apart last time do it again. It is a cycle that doesn't get better. All you're doing is preventing yourself from finding someone who will actually make you happy.
People only change if they really (and I mean REALLY) want to for themselves. Changes for the benefit of others are temporary. True change is very hard to make. It requires diligence, effort, and support.
Communication is the most important part of your relationship. So many times we have people here asking about how they should handle a situation when the solution is simply to talk to your partner about it. We forget how important this is. It affects everything. If you are feeling upset about something, it is best that you discuss it with your partner instead of burying it and letting it brew. Later it will explode when it could have just been a calm discussion if addressed right away. Communicate with your partner. If you never talk, why are you even together?
People can love each other and not be right for a relationship. This kind of goes back to the make up/break up rule from earlier but it extends to present partners or exes as well. When someone is part of your life, especially for long periods of time, it is natural that part of the love you carry for them will always be there. Just because you love someone though, that doesn't mean you should be together. That's the case with most of my ex GF's as I'm sure it is with many other people. Sometimes you need to consider if love is making you do foolish things.
You should set ground rules in your relationships. Let your partner know about deal breakers. Deal breakers being defined as things they would do that would cause you to end the relationship. It is good to get these out of the way when you are getting serious. That way, you can refer back to them if your partner does something against said ground rules. An example that I tell all my girlfriends (including friends who I'm not romantically involved with) is that I will never answer the question "Am I fat" or any variation of it (does this make me look fat, does my butt look big, etc). I explain why too. It's a trap question. Answer yes, and that's obvious. Answer no, and "you're just saying that." So I won't entertain that question. I know, silly, but this works for the bigger picture too. Figure out what's important enough to you that you'd be willing to end a relationship. Tell your partner what these things are. If they want to be with you, they should know.
When one person in a relationship has a problem, it's a problem for the relationship. You're not alone in your relationship, and dismissing your partner's problem doesn't solve anything. It makes them feel devalued and unimportant. Why don't you care enough to address something they think is a problem? It's because you know it's a problem but want to hide. Don't hide from it. If you do, it won't go away.
When a relationship ends, you need to give yourself proper time to grieve it. Like dealing with death, you go through the same stages. Denial, anger, depression, bargaining, and finally acceptance. This is part of the problem with rebound relationships. Take the time you need. Don't be afraid to wait.
Let the past be the past. It's over, it's done, and there is nothing that can be done to change it. There is no use dwelling on it because there is nothing that can be done about it. Don't worry about things that cannot be changed. You can't drive a car by only looking in the rear view mirror.
I'm sure there will be more to come, but these are the few I've seen myself repeat a lot in my rather short time here.
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This is, hands down, the best conversation I've seen about porn yet on this site: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/why-is-there-no-middle-ground-when-it.html
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Dirtball Rants:
1) What the hell happened to punctuation and grammar? I blame text messaging for the trash I see people write. It's not the content but the way it's expressed that makes me wonder what's happening to society. I realize that we're a multinational forum here, and I give a complete pass to someone who is doing their best despite the fact that English isn't their first language. But the crap I see from Americans, the British, Canadians, and Australians often makes me sick. If any of you read this, your posts would be much easier to read if you used paragraphs, sentences with punctuation, and whole words instead of abreviations like U, cuz, or wut! Quit being so fucking lazy if you want help.
2) There is a difference between the words your and you're. "Your" denotes ownership. "You're" is the contraction of "you are." Saying something like "your lame" is wrong wrong wrong! The same goes for there, their, and they're. "There" is used for things like places (look over there). "Their" denotes ownership (they wanted their cookies back). "They're" is the contraction of "they are." An example, "they're going to the service station over there to pick up their car which was just repaired." I bet that just blew your mind.
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Abreviations.
I use a lot of abreviations when I type advice so I'm going to start a list of the most common ones I see for use as a reference tool.
OP - Original Poster, the person asking for advice.
BF - Boyfriend
GF - Girlfriend
SO - Significant Other, your BF, GF, Fiance, or spouse in other words.
BTW - By the way
FWIW - For what it's worth
TBH - To be honest
IDC - I Don't Care
IDK - I Don't Know
IMHO - In My Humble Opinion
IMO - In My Opinion
IOW - In Other Words
THO - Titty Hard On (erect nipples) |
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I still have his jacket...should I give it back?
Q. Hey, My ex broke up with me about 6 months ago- but we've had this back and forth thing where he'll call me every 2-3 months (drunk and sober) saying that he misses me, that i scare the shit out of him. There's an age difference between us I'm 2...
A. 20 April 2011: Because I am a dirtball, just the sweet and caring kind... Get me on the right topic and it shines through gloriously! lol
Thanks for saying you respect me. I appreciate it. By the way, lots of people here call me DB instead (if that helps at... (read in full...)
I still have his jacket...should I give it back?
Q. Hey, My ex broke up with me about 6 months ago- but we've had this back and forth thing where he'll call me every 2-3 months (drunk and sober) saying that he misses me, that i scare the shit out of him. There's an age difference between us I'm 2...
A. 19 April 2011: LMAO! If you think my actual screen name is offensive, you should see how some people have twisted it over my time here...... (read in full...)
I still have his jacket...should I give it back?
Q. Hey, My ex broke up with me about 6 months ago- but we've had this back and forth thing where he'll call me every 2-3 months (drunk and sober) saying that he misses me, that i scare the shit out of him. There's an age difference between us I'm 2...
A. 19 April 2011: You seriously need to let this guy go. He's showing a pattern that isn't about to change. Next time he calls, ignore it. You don't have to answer if YOU don't want to.
Why perpetuate this failed relationship further? ... (read in full...)
It has been seven years and I still think about him
Q. I keep dreaming of a certain guy I used to see at church 7 years ago. We never dated but we used to act when we saw one another. I left church because always I was dreaming of him but he never came to me by then. Its been 7 years and I'm now married ...
A. 19 April 2011: Yet you avoided my question about loving your husband...... (read in full...)
How can I break up and afford to live on my own? he wants a threesome. He's over protective.
Q. Recently my partner and I broke up, but we still live together, he goes through my phone and expects me to have a threesome with him and one of my friends (who's a girl) He has been treating me a little child lately...xo. Here's more info I ...
A. 19 April 2011: So he has you trapped and it's starting to get abusive.
You need to figure out what you need to do to get out of this mortgage and do it, then leave this guy as far behind you as possible. If he lays a hand on you, you need to call the police. ... (read in full...)
My dad is having an affair, how should I handle this?
Q. Hi all, Sorry 4 the length. I had to explain in detail. I am so confused. I got an anonymous call with a hidden i.d a woman informed me that my father has a mistress and is willing to marry her. He is 58 years n has been married to my mum for 3...
A. 19 April 2011: That depends on who you ask. She would probably say yes, but she will resent you for telling her either way. Then because that's not news anyone wants to receive. And now for the same reason and that you didn't tell her earlier. Not to mention ... (read in full...)
For the first time I'm scared! How do you build the bridge between sex and foreplay?
Q. ok people, after years of being used and played with from girls it seems like ive finally found the girl of my dreams. we're together now and it couldnt work out any better than it is. and im like reeeeeeeeally in love with her, the feelings i h...
A. 18 April 2011: There's no rush. When it's meant to happen, it will. Your first time will likely not be anything grand. For most of us it isn't because we don't know what we're doing. The thing is, if you're with the right person you'll both want to learn how ... (read in full...)
My ex likes me quiet, but bugs me until I scream. How can I get his attention more? I still like him!
Q. The other day i was messing with one of my ex's because i still like him. Well he asked me if i still like him and i was afraid what he would say if i say yes so i told him i dont know, and he kept bugging me about it so i told him no. But now i am ...
A. 18 April 2011: Why bother? You're playing games, so is he. Nothing good will come of this.... (read in full...)
How can I stop thinking of my friend romantically?
Q. Okay, soooo I'm attracted to my friend. Really attracted. I think about her all the time. She's gorgeous, funny, smart. I need some advice on how to NOT think about her as much as I do. I asked her out the other day to sushi and she said yes, we...
A. 18 April 2011: I'm with chigirl, be direct. You see where indirect got you.... (read in full...)
How can I convince her to try something different from the "same old same old"?
Q. We have been together for nine years and have had a good sex life. But the thing is that I have to satisfy myself with the same sexual positions every time. My partner doesn't want to try new positions even after having a good sex drive. She wants ...
A. 18 April 2011: Why is she reluctant? What are you suggesting you try? Is there anything she'd be willing to try?
I think you need to tell her how much you love sex with her, and how much she turns you on. How you've wanted to try some things with her, but... (read in full...)
Why did she get so affronted by my suggestive email?
Q. Hello, I have a strange situation to ask about. Today, a few hours after my wife and I had had some very satisfactory intimate relations, I sent a suggestive e-mail talking about that in a rather oblique way. I used an e-mail subject line of "con...
A. 18 April 2011: Yeah, you definitely need to talk to her about it. She may have got some bad news when she got to work and no longer found it funny. Maybe she was just humoring you to begin with. Whatever the case, talk to her. ... (read in full...)
Am I too old fashioned about sex?
Q. It seems everyone is having sex these days. I'm only fifteen but I believe in 'no sex before marriage', I don't know why I believe in this because none of my family do. Everyone at school says I should try having sex with someone, I'm not at all ...
A. 18 April 2011: Of course it's alright. You have to live your life as you see fit. Don't expect everyone to understand, but the right person will, and that's what matters.... (read in full...)
I gave him oral, and now our relationship is too sexual. But how can I tell him to take it slow, while stay the model girlfriend?
Q. I've been dating a guy for a bit more than a month, but due to our history, it feels longer, and it's influencing my behaviour. --- Basically, most of my friends are guys, and I was therefore always surrounded by a bunch of guys wherever I went....
A. 18 April 2011: You should not try to fit into any molds, that's a sure way to bring disappointment to yourself and your relationship. Be yourself. Do not feel guilty about wanting to go slower, just tell him, but reassure him you still really like him.
Was i... (read in full...)
I want to stop masturbating because I don't feel good afterwards
Q. ok i haven't had a girlfriend before or had sex and i just keep masterbating. the other day i masterbated twice before 7am which is just crazy. what should I do to stop masterbating. i want to stop because i don't feel good after i have finished ...
A. 18 April 2011: Uncle Dave is right though, it is normal and healthy. Don't feel ashamed, but I do hope you feel in control of yourself.... (read in full...)
How do girls masturbate?
Q. hey, i'm 14 years old and like to masturbate but recently i want to try something different to my usual technique of 'humping' my chair. i don't want to use toys or finger myself. what else can i do? ...
A. 18 April 2011: I hear humping a pillow is pretty good if you don't want to do that other stuff. So is a detachable shower head.... (read in full...)
How can I get him to see that I really love him and I have no interest in any other man?
Q. Hi i hope you will be able to give me some advise. I have been with my bf for just over a year now. He went through quite a nasty break up with his wife of 25years, she came home one day and told him that by the end of the month he must move out...
A. 18 April 2011: Keep reassuring him. Really, he's overcompensating for what he thinks drove his wife away, even though it was likely all to do with her and little to do with him. He hasn't had time to fully grieve their lost relationship, and in a way he sounds ... (read in full...)
Found a condom in my BF's wallet...but we don't use condoms!!
Q. my boyfriend and i have been togther for 3 years and i found a comdom in his wallet we don't use comdoms i ask him about it and he said he was going to use it on me i don't beleve him what sould i do...
A. 18 April 2011: As a side note, never use a wallet condom. The heat from the body over time degrades the latex and they are basically worthless. Keeping condoms in your wallet is just asking for trouble if you ever end up using it.
I'd be willing to bet if y... (read in full...)
Am I clutching at straws?
Q. okay i no this is imature but here it goes my ex and i broke up 11 months ago after years of dating and he has a new gf but we have a kid together so i see him like twice a week well anyways i mentioned this chap i knew and he went nuts saying ...
A. 18 April 2011: He could be jealous, but really, that sort of reaction is a bit scary, almost psycho.
He's not coming back. It's best you do your best to move on.... (read in full...)
Is it normal to think about the date even though I was not attracted to her?
Q. Had a first date the other day. I didnt feel nervous talking to her, but im not sure whether thats because i might have not been interested in her, or whether the conversation was just too full on (we were talking about being materialistic and ...
A. 18 April 2011: Of course it's normal. Sometimes attraction grows instead of being instant. Still, I don't think you were really into her. ... (read in full...)
How can I break up and afford to live on my own? he wants a threesome. He's over protective.
Q. Recently my partner and I broke up, but we still live together, he goes through my phone and expects me to have a threesome with him and one of my friends (who's a girl) He has been treating me a little child lately...xo. Here's more info I ...
A. 18 April 2011: I think you need out of this relationship. He's way over the top if he's coming to your work to check your phone. If you can't afford your own place look for a friend, or adds for people looking for roommates. You have options if you look. This ... (read in full...)
Her immaturity is driving us apart
Q. Dear Cupid Key facts: -She is 18 years old -Maturity level of a child -Defence mechanism: complaining and irrationality When I first met her, I believed that beneath her immature perceptions of humanity there would be a deep philosophi...
A. 18 April 2011: Why do you have to be right about this? To me it sounds like you're trying to modify her to fit what YOU think she should be thinking and doing.
Walk away. You shouldn't want to change someone in order to be in a relationship. ... (read in full...)
How do girls want to be approached by guys?
Q. this is mainly aimed at girls i like this girl and i thought that she liked me but the other day when we were talking i just got the impression that she didn't like me. she is currently going out with my "friend" who isn't a good friend or boyfri...
A. 18 April 2011: I'm not a girl, but I've always found the direct approach is best. Usually talking first to see if there is a connection followed by either a date proposal or at a minimum asking for her number. ... (read in full...)
It has been seven years and I still think about him
Q. I keep dreaming of a certain guy I used to see at church 7 years ago. We never dated but we used to act when we saw one another. I left church because always I was dreaming of him but he never came to me by then. Its been 7 years and I'm now married ...
A. 18 April 2011: You don't even know this man. You have some fantasy ideal of him in your head.
Honestly, what sort of religious person says "leave your husband for the church?" Sounds more like a cult to me.
Are you happy with your husband? Do you love him?... (read in full...)
I want to stop masturbating because I don't feel good afterwards
Q. ok i haven't had a girlfriend before or had sex and i just keep masterbating. the other day i masterbated twice before 7am which is just crazy. what should I do to stop masterbating. i want to stop because i don't feel good after i have finished ...
A. 18 April 2011: You just do. It gets easy if you abstain the first couple of times. Do something else if you feel the urge, maybe some pushups, or go for a run, or go socialize with your parents or a friend.
Remember, you control your behavior, if you don't, t... (read in full...)
I'm not sure what do about my current relationship or this other guy
Q. What do you think about my situation with the guy I am dating and his friend?. I'll call the guy I am dating C, and i'll call his friend J. J winks at me a lot, and I knew him before C, as I saw him in a bar once and he kept looking at me then. On ...
A. 18 April 2011: J sure talks a good game. He knows how to badmouth C without seeming like he's doing it. A lot of what you describe I've read here: http://www.girlfriendstealer.com/
Do you like C? He knows that J is into you, so when you pay more attentio... (read in full...)
She seems untouchable but approachable, how can this be?
Q. The question sums this up. Theres this gorgeous girl i always see about at my college, we don't know each other though. But when i see her and we look at each other, there is a connection there. So we know of each other, im just not sure what sort ...
A. 18 April 2011: Why not try it? Friendships have to start somewhere, sometimes it's as simple as saying "hi, I noticed you from afar and you seem like someone I should get to know. I'm John."
You'll never figure her out if you just stare from a distance... (read in full...)
My dad is having an affair, how should I handle this?
Q. Hi all, Sorry 4 the length. I had to explain in detail. I am so confused. I got an anonymous call with a hidden i.d a woman informed me that my father has a mistress and is willing to marry her. He is 58 years n has been married to my mum for 3...
A. 18 April 2011: This is NOT something you want to be in the middle of. It sucks that you were put in the middle of this. Really, this is between your parents. As much as it sucks, I think you need to stay out of this for now.... (read in full...)
Is there a way to ask her out when I'm so shy?
Q. I'm too shy to ask a girl on a date, I'm not really scared of her saying no I'm just too shy to ask her but I really want to be with her. No matter how hard I try I can't seem to be able to pluck up the courage to ask her and I don't really want to ...
A. 18 April 2011: Some things in life aren't easy, but you do them because you have to. This is one of them. You need to believe in yourself and just do it. I'm the same way, so one thing I do is practice what I want to say beforehand. That way I don't go blank ... (read in full...)
I saw my ex girlfriend today and now I am very sad
Q. Dear All, I am 22yrs old single male. Its been almost one year since I graduated from university and now a few weeks back I finally found a good job. I had an year long affair with a girl during university and then we broke up after i found that tha...
A. 18 April 2011: Because you dwell on it. You've been lamenting this relationship for 3 times longer than it lasted. That's incredibly unhealthy and I think you need to get yourself into some therapy.
What have you done to grieve this relationship? Have you... (read in full...)
I still have his jacket...should I give it back?
Q. Hey, My ex broke up with me about 6 months ago- but we've had this back and forth thing where he'll call me every 2-3 months (drunk and sober) saying that he misses me, that i scare the shit out of him. There's an age difference between us I'm 2...
A. 18 April 2011: Yeah, I'd return it. It might help you let go of the relationship as well. It will be for the best.... (read in full...)
Should I be worried about his behaviour?
Q. Hi, my husband's sister's friend came to live with her for three weeks. Currently, me and my husband too are in his parent's house because I am due to deliver next month and will be staying there till I give birth. I don't want to be sad but I think ...
A. 18 April 2011: Do you have a reason not to trust your husband? He may enjoy the company, or it may be less than innocent. If there's something about it you don't like you should talk to him. Don't accuse him of anything because remember at this stage in your ... (read in full...)
Wife is away, does husband want to play?
Q. Can anyone please tell me why a married man has made it a point to tell me that his wife is out of town on business for a few days? Is this an innocent statement or is there a reason he is saying this to me?...
A. 18 April 2011: It could be either. He could be simply stating a fact, or implying that he's interested in partying while she's away. He could be coming onto you, but that's not a very smooth way about it. He may just be excited to have the house to himself for ... (read in full...)
How can I stop thinking of my friend romantically?
Q. Okay, soooo I'm attracted to my friend. Really attracted. I think about her all the time. She's gorgeous, funny, smart. I need some advice on how to NOT think about her as much as I do. I asked her out the other day to sushi and she said yes, we...
A. 18 April 2011: If you have such chemistry, why not ask her out?... (read in full...)
He flirted with me and then asked me to ask out my friend!
Q. I really like this guy. I could of swore he liked me. he would flirt with me all the time.He would sit by me in class.Sometimes he would put his arm around touch my hand.Then one day he asked me to ask out one of my friends for him.I was so ...
A. 18 April 2011: If you still like him, ask him out. He may have been trying to win you over because it's a pretty common rule that the more your perspective GF's friends like you, the more she will too. Getting in good with the friends has been around for a long ... (read in full...)
He won't respond to my text messages, he doesn't pick up his phone and I haven't seen him in 3 days because of World of Warcraft!!!
Q. So my boyfriend just started playing world of warcraft with his brother. They used to played it, but my bf quit because uni started and there physically was not enough time. He told me he used to stay up til 5am playing WoW during the summer and ...
A. 18 April 2011: I'd agree that he sounds like he has an addiction problem with that game. I've seen it all too often, and it's one reason I've never really gotten into that game. I could easily see myself slipping into that virtual world over the real one.
... (read in full...)
Why did she get so affronted by my suggestive email?
Q. Hello, I have a strange situation to ask about. Today, a few hours after my wife and I had had some very satisfactory intimate relations, I sent a suggestive e-mail talking about that in a rather oblique way. I used an e-mail subject line of "con...
A. 18 April 2011: Perhaps the timing just wasn't right, or she was having a bad day. You should talk about this the next time you see each other. Explain your intent and why you're confused. Try not to make this a bigger issue than it is.... (read in full...)
8 Golden rules!
Q. Hiyaaaa, Ever since I've join this amazing website which wasn't long ago, there is many question about relationships failures like cheating, no spark and all that so I've decided to come up with 8 Golden Rules on relationship! So here are my inte...
A. 18 April 2011: Good rules. It's nice to see someone your age with a good mindset toward relationships.
One nit-picky point. It's "Honesty" not "Honestly," however the point you were making is a very important one.
Cheers!... (read in full...)
What are the advantages and disadvantages of living together?
Q. Dear Aunts, Just wondering what you can say about couples living together in one house without being married. What are the advantages and disadvantages of such situations. Is this a bad thing or a good thing to do? Thanks!...
A. 15 April 2011: I think it's good to know if you can live together before setting out on a life where you're tied together. I wouldn't consider marriage without first living with someone. You learn all their good and bad habits, and can see the REAL them.... (read in full...)
I'm angry, confused and hurt at the way my ex is treating me.
Q. I have been on here so many times with my marriage separation, here I am again needing your help, I have two gentlemen who have emailed me, to take me out somehow my ex got a hold of the emails and emailed them back telling them I was not ...
A. 15 April 2011: No, he does not want you back.... (read in full...)
I think she is moving in on my BF. What shall I do?
Q. A girl kissed my boyfriend, well that's all that happened. apparently he pushed her off straight away and didn't kiss her back. i was hurt but forgave him, today she rang him when i was with him but he ignored the call and i said why dont you text...
A. 14 April 2011: Hmm, then maybe he didn't fight her off as much as he claims. That was pretty ballsy of her to ask you to give him that message.
You don't want to be overly jealous or controlling, but if he's giving you reason not to trust him, then that's u... (read in full...)
Is my daughter right that I am not grateful for what I have?
Q. I would have been married for 28 years. Last year Feb 2010 my husband walked out on me. We had been having problems but i did not expect him to go. Two months later his ex girlfriend of 30 years ago moved in with him with her adopted son. She has ...
A. 14 April 2011: I think you're in a rough part of your life and it's hard to appreciate what you have. It's true that you should be grateful for what you have, but you've also lost a whole heck of a lot recently, and it's perfectly acceptable to mourn that.... (read in full...)
I'm Chinese and her mom hates Chinese people!
Q. I have a little problem. I have met my current girlfriend online and have known her for over two years now. We recently began seeing each other but she hasn't told her mom about me yet. The problem is that her mom hates chinese and I am chinese. She ...
A. 14 April 2011: How old is this girl, and why does her mom have so much control over her life?
... (read in full...)
Why don't kids respect their parents anymore?
Q. I have three kids that I have raised on my own and I am proud of my children and the people that they are trying to become. Recently I had this big blow out with my children where they felt they had a right to sit there and disrespect me in ways ...
A. 14 April 2011: How old are your children?... (read in full...)
Need to get over a crush!
Q. How do I get rid of a crush? I'm married, so is he, it's highly innappropriate and it's starting to cloud my every thought. HELP!...
A. 14 April 2011: Cut them out of your life completely. Distance is the only thing I've found to help at all. It can suck, but it's for the best.... (read in full...)
Should I be his mother, or lay off?
Q. My fiance is starting to really pissed me off, and making me second guess my future with him! I am so TIRED of having to be his "mother" in EVERYTHING! Whenever I have to go to work, and hes home all day, I have to write a little list of things ...
A. 14 April 2011: I agree with CaringGuy. He's not mature enough to prioritize things in his life, or rather his priorities are different than yours. You are perpetuating the problem and that's why what your friends say is correct. He has to learn his lessons, and ... (read in full...)
True love or just wrong?
Q. I am married and have been in a relationship with the same man since I was 17 years old. I am now in my 30's and convinced I am in love with someone else. I had an affair a few years ago and was completly in love with the man with whom I was havin...
A. 14 April 2011: Why does your husband need you? A friend of mine has a saying, "Someone who needs you isn't someone you want in your life." We should be loved, wanted, desired, but if it turns into a NEED then that's like an addiction and stops being healthy. ... (read in full...)
I think she is moving in on my BF. What shall I do?
Q. A girl kissed my boyfriend, well that's all that happened. apparently he pushed her off straight away and didn't kiss her back. i was hurt but forgave him, today she rang him when i was with him but he ignored the call and i said why dont you text...
A. 14 April 2011: Do you have a reason not to trust your BF?... (read in full...)
I'm angry, confused and hurt at the way my ex is treating me.
Q. I have been on here so many times with my marriage separation, here I am again needing your help, I have two gentlemen who have emailed me, to take me out somehow my ex got a hold of the emails and emailed them back telling them I was not ...
A. 14 April 2011: Change your email address and use a password that he's not familiar with. That kind of behavior is inexcusable but the only way he'd have access is that you were using something he is familiar with and knows about.
Maybe, you need to deal wit... (read in full...)
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