Like what
he writes?
... Add *irtball to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *irtball a private message | | *irtball's profile:Hello DC. Some of you may be wondering where I were I went. My life has taken a turn that has taken me away from here for the time being. I'm not really answering many questions at this time. If you PM me, I will respond, but it may be delayed a week or two. I had many problems dumped on me of my own, so I don't have much energy for the problems of others. I'll be back, but it just may be a while.
Wow, been away longer than anticipated. To sum it up, life sort of sucks for me at the moment. Not looking for pity, just letting you know why I haven't been around. I still hope things will get better soon, but who knows.
ALERT: If you're sending me a PM in regard to advice I've given you, please reference the thread or specifics so I can be on the same page. Lately I've been receiving lots of PM's with an answer to some question I asked, but since the question was from an Anon poster, I have no idea which answer it was in regard to. I give a lot of advice here, so I'm very sorry if I don't immediately recognize you. The question title or a link would be most appreciated. Thank you!
_____________________________________________
Hi, I'm the bad bad charming sweetheart dirtball. Although recently I seem to have picked up the moniker "Dirty Balls" despite making sure to clean them thoroughly each day. Anyway, I love this site. I have a BA in Psychology which is part of the reason I think I like this site so much. I posted anon for quite some time before creating my profile. I took to the brutally honest approach which has gotten me in trouble a few times, but for the most part has gone quite well. I enjoy helping people and at times challenging them when I think it is appropriate.
_____________________________________________
I've been getting lots of great feedback on my advice and I appreciate it, even if you didn't like it. With that said, I'd like to add a segment here I'll call (drum roll please)
DIRTBALL'S RULES ABOUT PEOPLE AND DATING (in no particular order)
Men don't befriend women who they are not interested in sexually. What do I mean by this? I mean that men will not actively seek out friends of the opposite sex unless they would like to make the friendship progress further at some point. Plain and simple, that's how we operate. Are there circumstances where they are actually just friends? Yes, those would be times when you are forced together in some way. Examples could be; fellow employees at work, a regular customer at work, shared friend circle. The key to watch for is if he looks to spend time with her alone. That's usually the sign that he has a romantic interest in the relationship.
Long Distance Relationships don't work. Go ahead and tell me your success stories, I don't care. Most of the time it is just way too hard for the parties involved. Too much doubt creeps into the relationship. Plus, can you really call it a relationship if you only get to be together rarely? I think not.
Once broken up, you should stay that way. Make up/break up relationships don't work. Why do you always feel the need to break up? It's because things aren't working. Then you miss each other and get back together, only to have the very thing that drove you apart last time do it again. It is a cycle that doesn't get better. All you're doing is preventing yourself from finding someone who will actually make you happy.
People only change if they really (and I mean REALLY) want to for themselves. Changes for the benefit of others are temporary. True change is very hard to make. It requires diligence, effort, and support.
Communication is the most important part of your relationship. So many times we have people here asking about how they should handle a situation when the solution is simply to talk to your partner about it. We forget how important this is. It affects everything. If you are feeling upset about something, it is best that you discuss it with your partner instead of burying it and letting it brew. Later it will explode when it could have just been a calm discussion if addressed right away. Communicate with your partner. If you never talk, why are you even together?
People can love each other and not be right for a relationship. This kind of goes back to the make up/break up rule from earlier but it extends to present partners or exes as well. When someone is part of your life, especially for long periods of time, it is natural that part of the love you carry for them will always be there. Just because you love someone though, that doesn't mean you should be together. That's the case with most of my ex GF's as I'm sure it is with many other people. Sometimes you need to consider if love is making you do foolish things.
You should set ground rules in your relationships. Let your partner know about deal breakers. Deal breakers being defined as things they would do that would cause you to end the relationship. It is good to get these out of the way when you are getting serious. That way, you can refer back to them if your partner does something against said ground rules. An example that I tell all my girlfriends (including friends who I'm not romantically involved with) is that I will never answer the question "Am I fat" or any variation of it (does this make me look fat, does my butt look big, etc). I explain why too. It's a trap question. Answer yes, and that's obvious. Answer no, and "you're just saying that." So I won't entertain that question. I know, silly, but this works for the bigger picture too. Figure out what's important enough to you that you'd be willing to end a relationship. Tell your partner what these things are. If they want to be with you, they should know.
When one person in a relationship has a problem, it's a problem for the relationship. You're not alone in your relationship, and dismissing your partner's problem doesn't solve anything. It makes them feel devalued and unimportant. Why don't you care enough to address something they think is a problem? It's because you know it's a problem but want to hide. Don't hide from it. If you do, it won't go away.
When a relationship ends, you need to give yourself proper time to grieve it. Like dealing with death, you go through the same stages. Denial, anger, depression, bargaining, and finally acceptance. This is part of the problem with rebound relationships. Take the time you need. Don't be afraid to wait.
Let the past be the past. It's over, it's done, and there is nothing that can be done to change it. There is no use dwelling on it because there is nothing that can be done about it. Don't worry about things that cannot be changed. You can't drive a car by only looking in the rear view mirror.
I'm sure there will be more to come, but these are the few I've seen myself repeat a lot in my rather short time here.
____________________________________________
This is, hands down, the best conversation I've seen about porn yet on this site: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/why-is-there-no-middle-ground-when-it.html
____________________________________________
Dirtball Rants:
1) What the hell happened to punctuation and grammar? I blame text messaging for the trash I see people write. It's not the content but the way it's expressed that makes me wonder what's happening to society. I realize that we're a multinational forum here, and I give a complete pass to someone who is doing their best despite the fact that English isn't their first language. But the crap I see from Americans, the British, Canadians, and Australians often makes me sick. If any of you read this, your posts would be much easier to read if you used paragraphs, sentences with punctuation, and whole words instead of abreviations like U, cuz, or wut! Quit being so fucking lazy if you want help.
2) There is a difference between the words your and you're. "Your" denotes ownership. "You're" is the contraction of "you are." Saying something like "your lame" is wrong wrong wrong! The same goes for there, their, and they're. "There" is used for things like places (look over there). "Their" denotes ownership (they wanted their cookies back). "They're" is the contraction of "they are." An example, "they're going to the service station over there to pick up their car which was just repaired." I bet that just blew your mind.
____________________________________________
Abreviations.
I use a lot of abreviations when I type advice so I'm going to start a list of the most common ones I see for use as a reference tool.
OP - Original Poster, the person asking for advice.
BF - Boyfriend
GF - Girlfriend
SO - Significant Other, your BF, GF, Fiance, or spouse in other words.
BTW - By the way
FWIW - For what it's worth
TBH - To be honest
IDC - I Don't Care
IDK - I Don't Know
IMHO - In My Humble Opinion
IMO - In My Opinion
IOW - In Other Words
THO - Titty Hard On (erect nipples) |
|
Latest articles: The Curse of Over Thought
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
24 March 2011: The curse of over thought. I think many of us suffer from this curse. Some people may call it a blessing, but I tend to consider it a mixed bag. On one hand it can help lead people to some tremendous insights, on the other it can lead them do...
How Personal Bias and Gender Stereotypes can Influence Advice
This question has 40 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
19 February 2011: I write this article knowing full well it will not be received very well by some. I can only hope that this article will still be allowed due to the merits of the argument I am presenting. I have noticed on multiple occasions a prevalent double...
Why did you even ask?
This question has 22 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
25 January 2011: What brought you to Dear Cupid? Most likely it's because of some problem in your life or relationship. That's how most of us stumbled upon this place. You came here hoping that these anon people on the internet could offer you some insight into ...
Tis the season...
This question has 6 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 December 2010: Hello Everyone. Here at Dear Cupid we receive many requests for help. Some are serious relationship problems, others aren't quite so serious. One such question is "What should I get my significant other for Christmas?" I intend to give you some ...
What ever happened to communication?
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
17 November 2010: Having been here for a while now, I see consistancy in many of the problems people who come here face. One major problem, although it isn't usually the one that brought them here, is communication. Communication is usually the underlying problem ...
Paralyzed by not knowing
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
20 October 2010: After reading a string of questions today I started really thinking about the topic of: "do they like me back?" It happens a lot. We develop a crush on someone. We think about them a lot. We read into every little thing they do or say. We ...
Thoughts on technology and long distance relationships
This question has 6 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 September 2010: It never fails to amaze me how many questions I see on here about long distance relationships (LDR's). I will admit, I understand the temptation. I've been there. I've tried it. I've concluded that they don't work. Still, what is it about these ...
|
More memory...
Q. Guyz, My brother don't allow me to download my favorite online game in our family computer because i have not my own personal computer and/or laptop and because our computer don't have enough memory. please teach me something that can support or ...
A. 4 May 2011: A computer forum would be the place to seek advice about what you're looking for. This site is about relationships. If you'd like advice about how to deal with your parents and brother, then perhaps we can be of help.
Many computer stores s... (read in full...)
Help!!! I love my best friend...
Q. dear cupid, my problem is a universal one. i think i am in love with my best friend. about one and a half years ago was when we became real friends. before that we only knew each other and were on a hi-hello basis. he was going through ...
A. 4 May 2011: Why can he never be in love with you? What "type" of girl are you that he can't love you?
Honestly, I think you're giving yourself far to little credit.
Feelings like this don't go away easily, often they never really go away. The best ... (read in full...)
Should I stay or is it time to move on?
Q. my gf and i had a threesome with another guy and i went out side my room for a few minutes and they kept going. i have forgiven her but there has been nothing but arguements recently. i have also met somone else.what should i do, should i stay with ...
A. 4 May 2011: I vote to move on. If you're already looking for someone else instead of working on the problems, that should indicate to you where you stand on this one.... (read in full...)
Jealous now that my ex is with someone???
Q. me and my gf have been together for 6 months and are very much in love. but my ex is my concern. many people saw me and my gf as the perfect couple, but we werent so we split up and we were still friends. there has always been a connection and in ...
A. 4 May 2011: Those feelings are natural. When our ex moves on it's often harder for us than we think it will be. Especially if we've already moved on ourself. The feelings come from the residual feelings you still have for her, and a new level of "over" that ... (read in full...)
My whole family is hypocritcal about having sex before marriage!
Q. My whole life my family told me, 'sex before marriage it wrong and they never did it' now I have just found out my entire family lied to me, literally everyone had sex before marriage. I was shocked about this news because my whole life they ...
A. 4 May 2011: I think you're right to be shocked. Still, they told you that because it's sort of the right thing to tell kids until you think they are old enough to make an informed decision about sex. In a way, they are welcoming you to your adulthood. If you ... (read in full...)
Am I doing the right thing going on a date with a guy I'm not all that crazy about?
Q. I have a problem. I am in grade 12 and I graduate in 35 days. I started seeing this guy after finally giving him a chance, I can't say I'm that crazy about him but he is a nice guy and he has formally asked me to be his date to graduation. I ...
A. 4 May 2011: When he finds out you're staying with him more out of pity than any feelings you have for him, you'll crush him more. In some ways what you're doing is honorable, but in other ways you're just leading him on, even if you're pulling back.
How s... (read in full...)
I still can't figure out why he decided to cheat on me. My friends say dump him, but they don't understand him like I do!
Q. Okay, so I have a BF that had lied to me about being a virgin, I found out that he wasn't a virgin by a friend of mines who knew him longer than I have. I asked him multiple times, yet he denied it.. afterwards we was in a good mood.. and I asked ...
A. 4 May 2011: He shows he loves you by cheating on you. That's really showing a lot of love! After 2 whole months you think you actually know him... Sorry, but that's hilarious and nieve. The truth is he cheated on you with a girl he doesn't even know, had ... (read in full...)
It's started to bother me that we haven't committed to one another!
Q. Okay so me and my best friend have been friends for about 3 1/2 years and we've always kissed and have done other stuff.......but we've never really committed ourselves to one another! Were always doing our own things,dated other people. This hasn't ...
A. 4 May 2011: Has he said he doesn't want a relationship? Have you talked about that already? If not, you damn well should. It doesn't have to be a fight, it can be a conversation.... (read in full...)
Do you lose your virginity if you get fingered?
Q. Do you lose your virginity if you get fingered?...
A. 4 May 2011: However getting fingered can break your hymen. While I don't believe a broken hymen makes you not a virgin, it is something to be aware of. Especially if he inserts his fingers inside of you.
Also, if you have to ask this question, you're p... (read in full...)
Why do guys give mixed signals?
Q. Hi all. Can you tell me why men give women mixed signals? For example, they show you a lot of attention and clearly like you one minute and then the next they ignore you? Just when you were so sure you had them hooked, they suddenly act lik...
A. 4 May 2011: Yeah, that sounds like game playing to me. Women do it too, and it's very frustrating.
What you should do depends on how much you like him. If you really like him, then talk to him and say you don't appreciate what he's doing, and if he's rea... (read in full...)
He doesn't want to give me my stuff back. Do you think it means he wants to get back together?
Q. dear cupid, so, about three weeks ago, my boyfriend and i broke up. there aren't really any hard feelings, and we didn't fight about it--life just kind of got in the way of us being together right now, and we just calmly discussed the situation. ...
A. 4 May 2011: I don't get that he's not willing to give it back from that response. Not at all. He's more concerned about the possibility of never getting to see you again.
Yes, he still has feelings for you. They don't go away overnight. Part of him may ... (read in full...)
How do I get girls to hug me, to kiss me and how do I get popular?
Q. 1. How do I get a girl to hug me that goes to my school like a bunch of them that I don't even date 2. And how do I get girls to kiss me for no reason and all ways hang around me 3. And how do I talk to them and get them to all talk and ask...
A. 4 May 2011: 1. Be friends with hippies, they are all about free love.
2. Hang around hippies at parties, free love coupled with intoxicants...
3. You open your mouth and form words. You then string those words into sentences. If the sentences you make are... (read in full...)
Should I give my abusive boyfriend a second chance?
Q. Dear all, I'm 26 yrs old and I'm an introvert. I've been with my boyfriend for 8 months and within this short period he's showed me acts of violence 4 times already! It include: spitting, strangling, hitting, pushing and all the worst parts you ...
A. 3 May 2011: God no, do not give him another chance. Seek some therapy for yourself as well. You need to stay away from this man. His abuse will not go away.... (read in full...)
Fiance won't get rid of pictures of his ex!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and a half, he recently proposed and I said yes. Only problem is he won't get rid of pictures of him and his ex girlfriend. They had many issues, he said they would break up and get back together, ...
A. 3 May 2011: I'll add another NO to this pile. Really, you're being insecure and controlling. Like the others said, if he's not looking at them all the time, then drop it. I have pics of all my exes, and if a GF demanded I get rid of them, she'd be my next ... (read in full...)
Gave him heads and he refused giving me oral with him tongue.
Q. Last night i was making out with my boyfriend and i ended up giving him a blow job, after that i asked him to give me oral sex with his tongue and he bluntly refused, i begged him and he still refused. I was hurt so much that he couldn't do that to ...
A. 3 May 2011: Did he ask for the blowjob?... (read in full...)
Would you be so kind as to comment on my poem?
Q. I'm entering a poetry contest can peeps tell me what thy think bout this poem thanks xx to be with you is all i desire, with out you my hearts on fire, my hearts in pain ,bleeding,aching for you, only in my dreams u luv me 2 . m battling ...
A. 3 May 2011: I'm with sexlessintheuk. Content is good, the verse is nice, but if this is actually for a contest, you'll want to eliminate all that text speak for proper grammar. Spelling will also need a touch up. Keep in mind, a literary contest takes ... (read in full...)
Is Pornography cheating?
Q. The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...
A. 3 May 2011: Ok, so stimulation in the brain is similar. Great. That does NOT mean they are perceived as the same. Perception is far more complex. I watch porn, and never have I felt like I'm having sex with the people in the video. I know it's not real, ... (read in full...)
What constitutes a healthy relationship?
Q. Have been enjoying reading a lot on this site. Thanks to you all. This is my question.how do one know a healthy relationship ....
A. 3 May 2011: To me, a healthy relationship is one based on trust, communication, and love. Respect is also very important.... (read in full...)
Her past is tearing me apart, but I love her so. I don't know what to do.
Q. So I've been going out with my girlfriend for 4 months now, she's my first real girlfriend and I do love her so much. Everything is perfect except for the fact that I can't get her past sex life out of my head. She's 18 and has been with 10 guys bef...
A. 3 May 2011: Sorry if this sounds cynical, but I doubt you'll be able to get past this. It may be best to walk away. She deserves a guy who won't look down on her for her past. If you love her, you'll know that her past is what made her the girl you fell in ... (read in full...)
BF has been collecting nude pictures of girls off Facebook. What should I do?
Q. I have just found out that my boyfriend of 10 months has been collecting naked pictures from girls off his facebook the whole time we have been together. He says he doesn't understand why he did it and he has promised me to stop. He has deleted a...
A. 2 May 2011: Honestly, the "I don't know why I do it" thing is complete bullshit. You know it, and that's why you can't trust him. He does it because he can, the girls are willing, and he gets off on it. It's that simple.
How can you trust him again? ... (read in full...)
My son's friend stares at my breasts. Should I say something?
Q. I'm a 46 year old woman with a 17 year old son. Whenever his friend comes over he always stares at my boobs. No matter what i'm wearing or if im showing cleavage or not he still stares at them. Should I say something to him when he does this or ...
A. 2 May 2011: Call him out on it. Absolutely. He needs to know that you've noticed and don't appreciate it. You can choose to be descrete, or you can embarass him about it, that's up to you. Having been a teen boy once, I think embarassing him about this one ... (read in full...)
My wife kissed a girlfriend. Should I be worried?
Q. i don't know if this is even an issue to any one but myself. as most people are aware, the thought of two girls together is very cool as far as the male species is concerned. my young wife and i have discussed such activities, and have openly ...
A. 2 May 2011: It all depends on how much you trust her.
Is it unreasonable to be upset?
Yes and no. You've discussed this kind of thing in the past, so it's not out of the realm of your relationship. She also told you about it right away, so she's not try... (read in full...)
When Does the Art of Compromise Become Compromising?
Q. I have been dating my BF for about 9 months and our relationship is getting very serious. We are both 33 years old and have had our share of bad relationships and no luck in love until we met each other and are now looking at taking things to the ...
A. 2 May 2011: Excellent question Ana, and well presented.
"Am I just not ready to grow up in a relationship as he is accusing me of not doing?"
That doesn't appear to be the case to me at all. If anything, he's being overly controlling. Everyone needs f... (read in full...)
He wont holiday with me through fear of upsetting his kids, is this weird? What do you think?
Q. hi it's me again...well this Easter holiday my lovely bf of almost 1 year has decided to spend this holiday without me...he says manipulatively 'well hon you have plans with your family.' (which i asked him to join as he always does)he also states ...
A. 2 May 2011: At least you know where you stand and you can start moving on. ... (read in full...)
I love my English teacher so much.
Q. I'm only 15 years old and he is 26. Seriously i can't stop thinking about him. I miss him so much. I'm pretty confused as to how to make him love me. I always wear short skirt and tiny clothes in dress up when i come to his class. please help me?...
A. 2 May 2011: You cannot make him love you and nor should you try. It is illegal for him to date you as you're both a child and his student. The only thing you'll do is get him in trouble and hurt his future as a teacher. If you really love him, you'll want ... (read in full...)
How do I deal with my friend's pets?
Q. I am losing my friends over their dogs. I am not originally from the USA. It’s in not common to have pets at home in my country so I can’t deal with it now. It is like a torture to me when I see people walk with their dogs in the places that they ...
A. 2 May 2011: Ok, as for dealing with this, I think exposure therapy may help. You basically have to desensitize yourself to the animals. That means putting yourself in their home and facing your fears. Perhaps just start by sitting on the couch, then sitting ... (read in full...)
Is it normal for him to continue looking at girls on the Internet?
Q. My boyfriend has a issue with porn and watching other women on the internet. we worked out the whole porn thing but for some reason he will not leave watching other girls alone. I've expressed my emotions to him about it but he just cant leave it ...
A. 2 May 2011: Is it normal? Depends on who you ask. What I will say without a doubt is that if you've compromised on this issue, his continuing to do something he knows hurts you shows very little respect for you. After all, he hasn't given up jack and you're ... (read in full...)
What can I do? The girl I love is ignoring me and took me off her FB friend list.
Q. Please help me! The girl whom I love had killed me out of her friend list on facebook and ignores me in school. About three weeks ago, I stupidly sent her a goodbye letter due to I have accumulate far too much negative emotions in my head. Ever...
A. 2 May 2011: No man, the reason for her doing this is because you won't take the hint and go away. You keep ignoring the advice people give you to walk away, and give her space, and it keeps blowing up in your face. How many times are you going to keep ... (read in full...)
Is Pornography cheating?
Q. The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...
A. 2 May 2011: I think you missed my point with the chips, it was to demonstrate the slippery slope of your argument, not to equate it. Of course eating chips being cheating is a ridiculous concept, but in the statement I quoted, I just replaced porn with chips. ... (read in full...)
Penis size insecurities......
Q. OK, so we've seen the barrage of penis size questions. Got me so curious I decided to actually measure mine. What I encountered was that it may be impossible to get an accurate measurement because there are probably 13 ways to measure it. I know ...
A. 2 May 2011: FWIW, Pirate (sorry, I know you're anon, but on the landing page it says who wrote this article so you might as well stop being anon in any further follow ups), I didn't misinterpret what you wrote. I just think it's silly to break out the ruler ... (read in full...)
I told my ex that I'm breaking plans to see her later in the year. Was this the right thing to do?
Q. I met with my ex for lunch today. It was the first time we had seen eachother in about a month and a half. We broke up just over 2 months ago after a 4 1/2 month relationship ended because I'm leaving town later this month. Contact between us have ...
A. 2 May 2011: I think you did the right thing, and kudos to you for being honest about your feelings and what you're capable of handling with her. It took a lot of courage for you to stand up for your feelings.
As for what to do next, you know what I think on... (read in full...)
Is there something wrong with my Gf? Her eyes check out every guy.
Q. hey people!! just want to know, what does it mean if your girlfriend is checking out guys in front of you? her eyes are always on some good looking guy. she never seems embarrassed to stare in guy's eyes. once we were out for shopping, and i ...
A. 2 May 2011: What does it mean? It means she's not shy about checking out other people.
Is it something wrong with the girl? That's subjective. Does it feel wrong to you? For me, that's disrespectful, but I don't fault people for checking out other pe... (read in full...)
LDR b/f wants us to have sex when we meet!
Q. Okay, so I really don't know how to start. I'm having a long distance/online relationship with a guy whom i'm supposed to meet in July. He is a really great guy, fun to be around and a really nice person. The only problem is that were not on...
A. 2 May 2011: Do NOT do anything you don't feel comfortable with. If he forces the issue, then that's a sign you're right that you're not on the same page.
I do think you should consider discussing a compromise. Maybe let yourself kiss some more, and have a m... (read in full...)
Is Pornography cheating?
Q. The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...
A. 2 May 2011: Which neurotransmitters are you referring to when you equate porn use with Cocaine? My guess would be Dopamine, and I'm sorry, but unless it's something else, this is ridiculous. Dopamine is present in 90% of the brain. It's what your brain ... (read in full...)
Wife is just using me, she no longer loves me and is in love with a female friend!
Q. Hi there about 18months ago my wife told me she had feelings for her female friend. I took this on the chin and we carried on about a year later she told me she loves this woman but no longer loves me or fancyss me. We no longer have sex she ...
A. 29 April 2011: Yup, time for the divorce. It's bad enough that she treats you like crap, but your children too?!? Not cool at all. ... (read in full...)
Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
A. 28 April 2011: Having not checked back here in quite a while, I've got some thoughts to share about your last post person12345.
To me, it's not just the women in porn that are interchangable, but the men too. Often they are nothing more than a hard cock. I... (read in full...)
Dating a guy out of my league.
Q. I've been dating my boyfriend for 6 months now and things between us are great. We get along, we make eachother laugh, the sex is great and we are happy together. So whats the problem, right? The problem is- He's extremely attractive. I on...
A. 28 April 2011: If he likes you the way you are, you should like yourself too. ... (read in full...)
A little girl accidentally got hurt while I was babysitting and I cannot get over the guilt!
Q. During the day I look after two little girls aged 3 and 5 (I'll call them J and K respectively); I collect J from nursery at lunchtime and K from school a few hours later. When I brought K home this afternoon there was nobody else around, as her ...
A. 28 April 2011: How can you make up for it? Don't repeat it.
How do you stop beating yourself down? Remember that accidents happen, even when you're doing your best to avoid them.
She'll be ok. She's likely already ok. Kids hurt themselves all t... (read in full...)
Sex once a month isn't enough for me and I'm afraid I may cheat!
Q. HI, I have been in my relationship for 4 years and we have an 18 month old daughter, however my sex drive has become very high over the last 2 years and my partners is quite low compared to mine. I find myself feeling totally unsatisfied with the ...
A. 28 April 2011: Please tell us how you tried talking about it. What did he say? Did you explain why it is important to you? Has his sex drive always been this low?... (read in full...)
Will I lose my virginity if I give him oral? Will he love me more if I do it?
Q. i'm a 17 years old girl and still a virgin. my boyfriend is asking me to have an oral sex with him, he's 18 and were both virgins. i keep telling him that i don't want to because i'm reserving my virginity till the day i'm married. (even though im ...
A. 28 April 2011: "will i loose my virginity by that?"
Not really. At least not that an OB could check, but if your mom actually took you in to have your hymen inspected that would be horrible!
"will he love me more if i gave him an oral intercourse?"
... (read in full...)
Oral Sex Can Be A Sharing Experience - Swallowing IS Equal...
Q. I am in my early fifties and my man is as well. We've only recently become intimate and I was not involved with anyone for a few years prior. So, I had a long time to think about sexuality and what I would do when back into it. My thoughts are tha...
A. 28 April 2011: "Are you talking about squirting though dirtball?" The girl I referenced, no. However when she came, it was similar in volume to my own, and I swallowed it plenty of times. It was definitely different than just normal "wetness" as well.... (read in full...)
Penis size insecurities......
Q. OK, so we've seen the barrage of penis size questions. Got me so curious I decided to actually measure mine. What I encountered was that it may be impossible to get an accurate measurement because there are probably 13 ways to measure it. I know ...
A. 28 April 2011: Argh matey, it ain't the size of the mast on the boat, but how it handles the swells that matters.... (read in full...)
Oral Sex Can Be A Sharing Experience - Swallowing IS Equal...
Q. I am in my early fifties and my man is as well. We've only recently become intimate and I was not involved with anyone for a few years prior. So, I had a long time to think about sexuality and what I would do when back into it. My thoughts are tha...
A. 27 April 2011: I've said it before, but it warrents saying again, I think it should be individual choice. It's definitely not necessary, but it is a huge turn on when someone does do it.
For what it's worth, I've swallowed female ejaculate before. While in... (read in full...)
He wont holiday with me through fear of upsetting his kids, is this weird? What do you think?
Q. hi it's me again...well this Easter holiday my lovely bf of almost 1 year has decided to spend this holiday without me...he says manipulatively 'well hon you have plans with your family.' (which i asked him to join as he always does)he also states ...
A. 26 April 2011: I think you put your needs first, and that's what you needed to do. It is understandable that he wants to keep things as happy as possible with his kids, but there comes a point where they can be manipulating him too.
The truth is, he's separate... (read in full...)
Oral Sex Can Be A Sharing Experience - Swallowing IS Equal...
Q. I am in my early fifties and my man is as well. We've only recently become intimate and I was not involved with anyone for a few years prior. So, I had a long time to think about sexuality and what I would do when back into it. My thoughts are tha...
A. 25 April 2011: A fan of my poem?!? That made my day!... (read in full...)
Oral Sex Can Be A Sharing Experience - Swallowing IS Equal...
Q. I am in my early fifties and my man is as well. We've only recently become intimate and I was not involved with anyone for a few years prior. So, I had a long time to think about sexuality and what I would do when back into it. My thoughts are tha...
A. 25 April 2011: Cheers! Great post. I couldn't agree more.... (read in full...)
Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
A. 20 November 2010: Yes, I'd still do it but not very often. There are other reasons behind the behavior that don't all revolve around sexual satisfaction. It is a stress relief. I also use it to help improve sexual stamina so that I can perform better and last ... (read in full...)
Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
A. 2 November 2010: Holy crap! I think we just had breakthrough time didn't we! I'm very glad that there are women like you out there. I hope to meet one of my own someday. I'm also glad it seems like you've found the source of your feelings about his porn ... (read in full...)
Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
A. 28 October 2010: Sad, I know. Actually, I can think of one time it happened and one time it almost did. Once it happened on accident, but fortunately for me we were in a 69 and she was having one at the same time so she didn't care. Another told me she swallowed ... (read in full...)
Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
A. 28 October 2010: Good point Gabrielle. Let me rephrase, your attitude about sex is special. As is yours Smiliek. I hope to meet a woman with similar feelings toward sex someday.
Do guys prefer a handjob or bj when getting a "release?"
This guy prefers a bj... (read in full...)
Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
A. 27 October 2010: You're a special girl Gabrielle, and I envy your partner. The only girl I've met who had a similar attitude to you as far as sex turned out to be a manipulative psycho. That relationship never would have lasted so long if the sex wasn't so ... (read in full...)
Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
A. 27 October 2010: Good questions, and no you're not all alone, I keep checking in and referring people in situations similar to yours back to this thread.
Can a guy have enough sex that he doesn't need to masturbate?
Yes and no. I've found that (at least in my ... (read in full...)
Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
A. 13 October 2010: Welcome back Mia. Glad you got everything sorted out!... (read in full...)
Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
A. 8 October 2010: I agree. It is lazy. It also becomes harder to fantasize if you're constantly bombarding yourself with these images. The problem in my life is that I haven't found many women with comparable sex drives. Most of the women I've been with have ... (read in full...)
Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
A. 7 October 2010: I agree to a point. I think part of the appeal of porn with regard to masturbation is that it is easy and highly accessable. Can I masturbate without it? Sure. The thing is that it takes longer. At least for me. If I just want to make it fast, ... (read in full...)
Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
A. 7 October 2010: Ha! Just because they happen doesn't mean they need to be accepted. I see people who don't pay their taxes every day. Death is hard to cheat though.... (read in full...)
Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
A. 6 October 2010: Nobody ever has to accept anything they don't want to. I do believe that a lot of people believe that someone may have to accept something but the truth is that it is your right as an individual to make your own choices as to what you'll accept or ... (read in full...)
Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
A. 5 October 2010: I'm still reading it. :-)
I think that's because of the fact that it's viewed as "taboo." These are conversations that need to take place in a relationship. It makes the relationship stronger if both parties lay out their expectations for each... (read in full...)
Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
A. 30 September 2010: I think you're right person12345, there is a bit of the ostrich syndrome going on here. I have some thoughts on this question though: "If she's already insecure and that makes it worse, why wouldn't he want to make her feel better?"
This is a sli... (read in full...)
Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
A. 29 September 2010: OK Friends, we're opened back up. I just wanted to post a reminder to everyone to keep it civil. I haven't seen anything like that in a while, but it's still worthy of a reminder.
So, without further delay, please let the conversation continue... (read in full...)
Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
A. 2 September 2010: Katy, I didn't realize you were the anon poster. However, I never said you don't belong here, just the negativity you were expressing.
I was pushing for contributions, not attacks. Please do contribute. ... (read in full...)
Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
A. 2 September 2010: Anon poster, where your argument about men fails is your statement about their actions. Actions and thoughts are two very different things. Just because we may fantasize about something, that doesn't mean we will, or even we want to in reality, ... (read in full...)
Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
A. 26 August 2010: "Why is it you don't talk about 'masturbation addicts'"
LOL Mia, a masturbation addict will eventually be unable to even view porn since they'll go blind and have super hairy palms.
Don't you love those old wive's tales?
I also have pro... (read in full...)
Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
A. 26 August 2010: "As for Dirtball's theory about masturbation is dirty, I think porn would actually lessen especially in how degrading it is if masturbation wasn't thought of as hidden and dirty."
I agree. When we're hiding something already, it becomes easier t... (read in full...)
Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
A. 25 August 2010: "But lying as a teen to your mum is surely different to lying to your partner?"
It is and it isn't. Your point is valid and the way things should work ideally. The thing is that learned behavior is difficult to change. An example. I live alo... (read in full...)
Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
A. 24 August 2010: Why is this "ok" to lie about?
It really isn't. You are right that a relationship built around lies doesn't have a real foundation. Now, what I'm about to type, is the justification.
It's not that it's ok to lie about it, it's that men ha... (read in full...)
Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
A. 23 August 2010: Be careful when you say such things, especially if the pig is around. He tends to get very funny ideas when you say "woman, naked, ogle"
Ha, Q isn't the only one who gets crazy thoughts in his head when he hears (or reads) those words. ... (read in full...)
Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
A. 23 August 2010: If I had a gf who would take sexy pics of herself or star in a video with me, you better believe I'd watch that above anything else in my collection. The problem is that, like with just about anything, the same thing can get boring if repeated ... (read in full...)
Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
A. 23 August 2010: "sorry to drag it back, but im still at a loss as to what to say to women who post on here who cannot accept their partners porn use, but love him and do not wish to leave the rship. If he wont stop (even if he only does it sometimes) what should ... (read in full...)
Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
A. 22 August 2010: I should add, thank you for identifying yourself!... (read in full...)
Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
A. 22 August 2010: Sorry person 12345... I was writing my response at the same time.... (read in full...)
Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
A. 22 August 2010: Anon, she says you're hiding because you haven't signed up and given us a user name to call you.
As for the prevalence in today's society... I blame "girls gone wild." My mom had an argument with one of my brother's girlfriends once because ... (read in full...)
Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
A. 21 August 2010: I'm going to step out of the porn discussion for a second and address the Neuroscience issue (as this was one of my primary collegiate areas of study).
What you see activating in the brain of an addict during a scan is their dopamine centers.... (read in full...)
Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
A. 21 August 2010: My point is that "normal, mainstream porn" can be all the things I listed. It's all out there for anyone with internet access. Even in your "expert" opinion you have to see you're over generalizing. Also, just because something is out there, it ... (read in full...)
Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
A. 20 August 2010: I'm with Tisha. There is every kind of porn out there under the sun.
You've got the ones where they are actors with lines and are playing out a scenario. Heck, I just saw a XXX parody of "That 70's Show." It was hardly degrading. It was funn... (read in full...)
Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
A. 20 August 2010: Wow, this thread really exploded didn't it.
First. To LucyLoos. I was the responder who discussed my sex drive. I find it admirable that you've been able to enhance yours to meet your husband's needs. That's excellent. My first choice i... (read in full...)
Why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?
Q. ok, so my question is simply 'why is there no middle ground when it comes to porn?' It seems there are two sides, those for porn, and those totally against it. I have read many a question about porn on here, and there are the guys and some women who ...
A. 19 August 2010: "I love the man i met, i dont have any need or want to change him. I may not love the man he became if he tried."
Of your whole post (which I agree could really have used paragraphs) this is the sentence that summed up my stance on this topic. ... (read in full...)
| *irtball's friends
These are mutual friends, so *irtball has
added them and they have added *irtball!
|