A
female
age
36-40,
*urjourney
writes:My question is I'm 26 year old college student, I am so far working on my AA degree. I have a 4 year old child, will men still want someone like me or am I just damaged goods. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, meccamega  +, writes (14 January 2012):
Maybe if you date guys that also have kids too, then they would be a better match for you?
A
female
reader, 1sunshine +, writes (13 January 2012):
 I have had plenty of experience (being a woman) in that department ;) I am a mother of 2 and been divorced for over a year now. I am 40yo. I was afraid of the same thing for myself. Not only that, but I have problems with both knees due to having arthritis and can't move like everyone else. ( I was afraid sexually if you know what I mean. ) Where my ex husband was used to my condition. So finding someone new for me was scary... Well I have had two relationships one for 4 months and my present boyfriend now of over 7 months and I'm so happy! Having children gives you character, experience with life and patients too. I feel that it adds extra excitment to your relationship. My boyfriend has two children of his own as well. Between us both, it always keeps things interesting! Honestly, I feel that when I dated guys that didn't have kids? They seemed more immature ( no matter what age they were) I love that my bf has kids. It makes him the guy he is today and tells me that it really shaped his butt up ;) Don't worry!! Things will be awesome for you! :D Good luck!
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female
reader, ourjourney +, writes (13 January 2012):
ourjourney is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys very uplifting and encouraging.....
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (13 January 2012):
 If you're a likable person, people will like you.
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A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (13 January 2012):
 Okay okay I confess I confess... ready? Yep... I have a thing for some single moms. Why? cause I was raised by one. So, intuitively Im interested in the woman almost right away if she has a child. I nearly dated a girl in the us ( I say nealy cause at the time i was dumb not to know the rules of attraction when trying to gain interest of a woman.. she was 22, and had a boy who was 6 and a girl who was 4. Now, most people usually stereotype and say "shes a whore and has two kids as a result so red flag and stay away".. when in fact she was intelligent, driven, cared for her kids, was responsible in college, and not to mention, she was a damn fine cook. Now, is it necessary to have all those traits for you to be attractive? nope. People will criticize you for whatever reason. Ignore them. Youll find someone a bit different, maybe someone similar to my taste... just keep being who you are.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2012): There are so many men who will love you for you and love your child too! The ones that accept your child are probably better fit fathers anyway because they probably love kids. My aunt had four kids when she met my uncle, a successful lawyer. Kris Jenner had four kids when she met Bruce (who also had kids). My sister in law just married a dentist and she has a son. The key is not to look at yourself as "damaged goods"!! Because you're not! You're a mother, which should be a sign that you are responsible and loving! Good luck and don't settle!!
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A
male
reader, doublejack +, writes (13 January 2012):
OK, there are definitely shallow guys out there who will not date a woman with a child. There's no denying that.
However, there are PLENTY of good guys out there who will gladly accept you for who you are, child included. My girlfriend has two children - a daughter age 4 and another just about to turn 3. It isn't a problem for me AT ALL, and in fact I view her love of children and the responsibility that comes with raising them as a huge asset. It is one of the key reasons I like her so much.
So take heart, you are definitely not damaged goods. You just have to meet the right guy for you, who will appreciate all aspects of you... including that you're a mom!
Best of luck!
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (13 January 2012):
 you are NOT damanged. SOME men do not want women with children and others do.
You may even find a man who is divorced or widowed with his own child(ren)
if you present yourself as "damanged" it will be a bad thing.
Present yourself as a loving wonderful woman with the "bonus" child... that's how I thought of my stepdaughter... (I had two sons from my first marriage)
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female
reader, Mariab  +, writes (13 January 2012):
 Children are a blessing and thank God we can have them or else the human race would die out!!
Some men want to have a family and if they love you ...this will not be a factor at all! But you need to get your mind right. If you think you are damaged goods, you will behave like damaged goods by showing the guy that you are "grateful" for his acceptance of you! This is not healthy. Embrace who you are ...love your baby and the right guy will come along! Good luck hunny xxx
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A
male
reader, Tom Obler +, writes (13 January 2012):
 Hello,
The simple answer is that some men will, some men won't. Some will make their choices regardless of whether you have children. They may be attracted to you for "you" or not at all. Obviously, there are guys in this world that prefer "virgins" so that rules out girls without children too.
If I were you, I would carry on with your degree, carry on being you and bringing up your child and guys will come along without you having to worry. If your child ever became an issue, then you would know that that wasn't the right guy.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (13 January 2012):
 You are not damaged goods, and defining yourself this way is a lack of respect not only to yourself but to your child. Is your child a " damage " to your life ?
There are tons of single mothers around, or divorcees and widows with children, and just looking around you will tell you that not all of them are doomed to remain alone forever . They can, and do, find new partners .
To be objective, though, yes, your selection of partners is somewhat more restricted than if you were childless . Some men do not want to join a ready made family, they want to create their own " from scratch ", and that's a perfectly respectable choice too. To each their own. As long as they are clear about it.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2012): You're not damaged goods, but because of your child you are not free to plunge back into dating.
Worst thing you can do is start introducing a four-year-old to a parade of strange men. You need to take it slow and deliberate, keep your dating life completely separate from your motherhood life until you are absolutely certain there is a posssibility for a future.
Also remember that your child is under no obligation to become friendly or bond in any way with whatever gentleman friends to whom you may introduce her, and your kid(s) always come before your love life.
Given that your child is only four and is already the product of a broken home, I'd tread very lightly before disrupting her life any further. I'd say single motherhood and going to college is more than enough on your plate for the time being.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2012): You are not damaged goods! While it's true that some men do not want to date single mother's. There are quite a few men who do. My neice got married last year and was a single mother, her now husband is not the biological father of her child, but as far as he is concerned he is the boys father. A close friend of mine is a single Mum and just got engaged on New Years Day. All hope is not lost for finding someone, the man for you is out there and he will not see you having a child as any problem to dating you. I hope this helps.
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