A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:My wife caught her best friend saying very sexually leading comments to me. She confronted her friend on the spot and made her leave our house. Her friend called me in tears asking what she could to to fix it. I really don't know what she can do. This happened once before and I told her it's never going to happen. I figure the woman being rather unattractive and single seldom if ever has sex with a man. I know she wants to have sex with me, she said it loud and clear. I never led her on in fact I told her to stop it time she was doing that to me. I told that I could never cheat on my wife. My wife is hurt and angry at her friend and I understand her feelings of deception by a woman who were best friends for many years. My wife has been depressed about the whole thing, especially losing her best friend for trying to get me in bed.I hate that this happened, I am not guilty over any of it and my wife acknowledged that, she heard everything we said. Is there any way of clearing this up between them or is this a betrayal beyond repair?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2014): I can kind of relate to this.
A long time ago when I was with my ex, I found out that he'd been sleeping around with my best friend. Although after time I chose to forgive them both, to this day, even though it is four years later and I am now happy with someone else, I still think about her betrayal almost every day. The fact that he did it doesn't bother me at all now, but trust broken from your closest friend I've realised is a lot more difficult to get past. I feel like I have now lost that friendship for ever and although that has really affected me and she did apologise, she never made much of an effort to amend it. I am beginning to accept now that we will never be friends again. I think if your wife's friend is apologetic and wants to fix the relationship then maybe she should give her a chance, if that's what will make her happy. On the other hand, if she is isn't sorry then she probably isn't worth it. In my case, I thought that my friends betrayal was repairable but now I see differently. She should definitely take some time to clear her head and decide what is right. Although I know you want to support her, and you should be there to comfort and support her, this is really something that can only be fixed between the two of them. I hope it all works out.
A
female
reader, SeaGreen  +, writes (8 August 2014):
 Why would you even want to repair their relationship?? Who needs enemies if you have friends like that!!
I would forget about trying to repair their broken relationship. Any involvement on your part to fix anything will only backfire on you. Focus on being there for your wife. She must be devastated!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2014): Stand by your wife and support her.. you both need to dump this friend of hers. Imagine if your best friend did that to you, not once but twice. Try not to feel sympathetic towards her friend... she was clearly happy to betray your wife and stab her in the back. People like that are best cut out of your life... she clearly has no respect for your marriage or your wife's feelings
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2014): She's not her true friend, she just wants a shag and the friendship just makes opportunity less difficult for her.
Your wife deserves better, she is just a dumbo x friend.
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (8 August 2014):
 Are you kidding ? the woman has been caught TWICE hitting on her best friend's husband. First time, Idon't know, she can plead temporary mental insanity, the second shows that she is NO friend at all, forget about best friend, and she eeds to stay the hell out of your life.
I don't even understand why would you even want to clear this up between them or have them make peace or whatnot. So that this mature vixen can make a move on you for the THIRD time ?? It won't be by any chance , that although inattractive, she is still an admirers of yours and you feel a little bit gratified by the attention ?...
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (8 August 2014):
 Yes, it is beyond repair. The fact that your wife FORGAVE her once before, I'd say that the "friend" totally F'd up.
You know the saying:" Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on YOU. I don't blame your wife at all. I wouldn't touch that "friend" with a 50 foot pole. No one wants to walk around with a dagger in the back, specially not one placed by a "so called friend".
Cheer your wife up, take her out, support her and maybe remind her that REAL FRIENDS don't do THAT to friends, so maybe that "friendship" has run it's course.
None of this is your fault, you handled it like a champ.. BUT.... YOU should block that "friend" from calling you or contacting you. YOU should NOT talk to or have ANYTHING to do with her.
Time to move on.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2014): She is not a friend and you should probably not encourage a reunion. Support tour wife and let the chips fall where they may.
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female
reader, cmarieky +, writes (8 August 2014):
No way hosea. Friend definitely crossed the line. And if she is too a middle aged woman than she clearly if not should have considered the effects of such betrayal. She is now considered a threat by your wife. And we generally keep threats away. Your wife would be a fool to be friends with that same woman again. You try not to get them back friends as well. Because your innocent efforts may come off differently from your wife. Encourage your wife and console her that you are her friend and you're there for her.
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A
female
reader, xTheAlmightyDuckx  +, writes (8 August 2014):
 I think her friend may of crossed the line. Betrayal is an awful thing, it really hurts, but when its someone like your best friend it hurts even more. She obviously trusted her an awful lot, and if they have been friends for years then it makes it even worse. Its also obvious like you said that this friend of hers may be having problems when it comes to men, and relationships, as you have to sink pretty low before attempting to go for your bestfriends husband. Also, for your bennefit even though I think you've proved to your wife you woulld never go there, I wouldn't even speak to her on the phone, as after all, she has crossed the line. If your wife hadn't heard you denying her sexual agenda then it could of caused even bigger problems for you and your wife. I think at the moment all you can do is be there for your wife, comfort her and listen to what she wants to do regarding this situation, however I very much doubt she is going to want this friend of hers back in her life, as how on earth can she be trusted? Also to get an idea of how your wife is feeling, imagine if it was the other way around, and your bestfriend was trying to come on to your wife..I am sure you would be just as upset and angry as she is. Just be there for her, listen to her and let her decide what she wants to do, but don't stick up for this friend of hers, as problems or not what she done was entirely her own fault. Good Luck x
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