A
male
age
30-35,
*ic
writes:hey wats going on i tried talking with my girlfriend about why she dresses better and more revealing when im not around and she got realy defensive and didnt let me finish she always does that when i try and talk to her about something we nead to work out. she wore a shirt that she bought from American apparel that is see through and should alot of cleavage and i asked her if she wore a sweeter and she said yes but then after i tried talk to her some more she got up set i love her so much and i wonna work things out but i just dont kow how to talk to her about somethigs with out her changing the subject or aavoiding it and getting mad and say things like "i feel so protected. one time i dropped her off a school after taking her to her friends school so we could chill she wore a top that showed alot of cleavage and her friend said cover up and she did and when i said it she got upset and said i dont nead a nuther father in my life. i meen like come on how would she like it if i wore something that showed off my arms or abs and then when im around her i change in to something that covers me up or how would she like it if i went to school and with all of her favorite stuf on of mine and when i get to see her i change in to something els. i meen dress to impress plz Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Plexi +, writes (8 October 2009):
 oy vey..........first of all an eye for an eye is never the right solution. she dresses like that because she wants attention, because she wants to extpress herself and her sexuality ( perhaps that is the real her. she gets deffensinve because thats what people do when they feel attacked because someone made them feel vulnerable by discovering the real " them". she knows shr dosn't dress " properly and is ashamed of that so she projects by getting deffensive. you can try talking to her by addresing how it makes YOU feel. Avoid blaming and "you statements"......tell her how you feel....eg......"I feel uncomfortable when you dress like that because i feel insecure when other guys look at you like you are a piece of meat and it makes me mad that guys may think that way and disrespect my girlfriend. Remember that this could be who she really is and you should never try to change someone else.........let her be herself........if after you express your feelings about the issue she still continues to disrespect you and herself then let her be and move on. Also women are not the same as men.........she would not care if you came to school in a muscle shirt to get attention from girls, she might just laugh at you and think you're pathetic for trying to get even. Just talk to her calmly and tell her only about how you feel and what you wish she would do.........don't demand, blame, attack or threaten JUST express yourself..........god luck and all the best to you both:)
A
female
reader, hijacked_dignity  +, writes (8 October 2009):
 Have you thought maybe that it's in your head a bit? I mean sure you definitely notice when your girlfriend wears revealing clothing when you're not really around her, but does she always cover up when you are? Maybe that's just how she dresses. If that's not honestly the case, then there are a few issues that you have to deal with.
First off, have you just tried asking her to wear a little bit more because it makes you feel uncomfortable? I mean if you just told her that you don't like the idea of other guys being able to check out her cleavage, she should understand. She is your girlfriend after all. However if she isn't willing to change, that's just something that you might have to accept about her personality.
Some girls just have to feel like other people want them too. It isn't enough that their boyfriend wants them, but they want to make sure that they look and feel sexy around other people as well. It's just a concept of self securities, or lack there of. She probably doesn't feel secure with herself, and feels like she has to make sure she is still attractive to others around her. Not that she loves you any less, it's just something that's a tad bit selfish. You can only bring this subject up so much however without becoming a 'second father'. I would just bring it up one more time with your feelings already known and some sort of idea in what you are going to say. If she still refuses, well you'll just have to decide if it's acceptable or not.
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A
male
reader, Confuzzled012 +, writes (8 October 2009):
 I'd say she has some sort of resentment built up and is snapping at every word you say to her. Either that or she's not really as gaga over you as she used to be. OR she knows she already has you and doesn't need to impress you but likes the attention she gets away from you with revealing clothing. Nothing you can do here. She obviously has no repect for what you say and want from her and she won't talk it out with you, so either accept it and move on, or leave her.
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A
female
reader, sunnycomet +, writes (8 October 2009):
 Try explaining to her you are worried about the imagine she is showing to the world. Tell her you care about her. If this doesn't work and she continues to dress this way I would reconsider your relationship with her.
Good Luck!
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