A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:hello everyone. I was wondering if you could shed some light on why my boyfriend acted like this? . . The other morning my boyfriend woke me up, the bed was shaking slightly and it was obvious he was masterbating. I dont have a problem with that and when he asked to remove hiS other arm I jokingly said 'oh i thought you were right handed' he went mad called me sick and twisted. I said i was just joking and there is no need for that but he got up kicked things around said he was leaving for good and stormed out. He had said was i calling him a liar to which i said . Oh ok then, but its no big deal what you were doin why do you have to react like that. He left sayin i was callin him a liar. Why on earth would he freak call me names etc then leave sayin thats it when quite obviousky was and i wasnt angry or nasty about it? I just dont understand why he would do it so obviousky then deny? I am really open and honest yet he has done this a few times. I thought we were on a new level after getting back together because he had not spoken to me for two weeks as was depressed. Now this. ?
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female
reader, svf  +, writes (19 June 2011):
 You poor thing. You did absolutely nothing wrong. He is feeling embarrassment and is taking it out on you. But to switch so suddenly is way over the top. Does he have mood swings? It does't sound right that he would pick a fight with you and then storm off...
How have things been between you prior to him getting caught out? Had you had a fight the day before? You say that he seemed depressed. This could be an indication of wear his mental state is at. When men get depressed they can act strangely in relationships, especially when it comes to commitment issues. This relationship could prove to be bigger than you can cope with if he isn't seeking help and I wish you the best of luck with everything. And please don't let yourself get caught up in his negativity and mood swings, as you deserve to be happy and loved. I think from what you wrote, you handled the situation ADMIRABLY and did not deserve the reaction you got from him at all. xx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2011): Okay OP lots of things wrong here.
First you say you've gotten "back together" which if you ask me is not a good idea. If it doesn't work the first time then it usually never will.
Second you say he's done this before. So he's prone to this kind of behaviour and if it's not a one off then this is pretty much the type of guy that he is. Not good news. He is just a man child with no emotional maturity at all.
Thirdly, his reaction to things is to not talk to you for two weeks because he's "depressed"? This guy is not relationship material at all. You need to ask yourself why you're letting him get away this crap, you need to think hard why you're still with a guy who acts like a child.
You have two options OP. You can stay with this guy and hope he changes just like you are doing (new level) or you can reconsider the whole thing. Now if you want to stay, know that you can't change him and this will keep happening. So think carefully why it is you're with him and if that really is worth it when you know for certain he's not going to change, this is who he is and this is how things are just going to go with this guy.
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A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (18 June 2011):
 My guess is that he was extremely embarrassed at being caught and he freaked out and made a big deal out of nothing.
Give it some time for him to come to his senses. If you haven't heard from him in a few days, give him a call and reassure him that you aren't upset and sorry that you made a wise-crack about his antics.
Hopefully this is something he can get over -- some guys are pretty sensitive about the masturbatory habits.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2011): It sounds like he was extremely embarassed at having been caught masturbating. He should have used common sense and done that in private instead of exploding on you.
He isn't very mature at all and his behaviour was abusive.
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