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female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: Why is it that everytime i have sex with a man they always ejaculate too quickly? Is it me or what? Im getting rather frustrated over this.
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male
reader, iforgotmysn  +, writes (22 September 2010):
Eh I think it matters if the guy has cum within the past week ..for me If I haven't came in 5-7 days I am lucky if I last 10-15 mins steady ..but If I have came within 3 days I can go for 30-40 mins...also switching positions gives me a few secs to relax also I squeeze the head of my penis between switching positions cuz i read somewhere it helps { and it does} ...When we go out and drink with friends I have the issue of lasting a hour or so ..Which ends up being painful for my partner .....I mean I am not small by any means so a hour - to a hour 1/2 of pounding makes her vagina bleed.
A
male
reader, Hot Rod +, writes (12 July 2009):
Listen, here are the real reasons as I have experienced myself. 1.) When someone turns you on so much, it is hard to control the timing because of the passion. 2.) Lack of communication as stated earlier. 3.) When you're hot your hot!
What to do about it? 1.) Communicate
2.) I always jerk off an hour or two before which takes the edge off.
3.) Don't do it.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2008): The problem is most likely that there is no communication. You stated yourself that you asked him to slow down but why not try communicating that before you start. I have been married for over 30 years and my wife still does not clearly communicate to me what she wants because of inhibitions she has. A man is out to pleasure himself when the time comes and he will do it his way if he does not hear from you what you want.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2007): I have been with my current partner for three months now. Previously I had never come through penetration. But by some freak accident last week I managed to come. This was because he took it slower. It helps if the guy comes through a handjob/blowjob first of all. There is a reason for foreplay. After I've done the deed to him, he returns the favour. And by the time he finishes that he's ready to go again.
The reason why he managed to last longer was because I said to him 'I want you to hold it, don't orgasm before me'. I thought I was incapable of having an orgasm through penetration. But as it turns out, I only need a couple of minutes longer that what he has given me previously. Being on top is better for controlling his ejaculation as you can decide what speeds and how deep you want him. If he's going to come, rest for a few seconds and let him relax a little.
I hope this helps! I'm awaiting an orgasm from him today! Haha! Good luck!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2007): Hello, most of these guys have said that the male could ejaculate beforehand, and that does increase the stamina that the male has, but for me it also eliminates more of the pleasure I get from having intercourse with someone. On another note, what Carrie Magdelene said is also very true. If you are just meeting these men at a bar or having a one night stand, most of the time you won't enjoy the sex as much as you would if you had built up a relationship (with sex included!) over a couple weeks.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2007): maybe because u are so fine that the male gets over xcited try lots of fourplay and havin them pleasure you first.
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A
male
reader, JackBauer +, writes (8 January 2007):
 It always happens to me and it's embarrassing, but what I've done to help control it is usually masturbate before the girl I"m going to have sex with comes over. Or blow it once while she's giving head, I go from lasting 2 minutes to about 10.
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A
female
reader, Lilly223 +, writes (8 January 2007):
 Okay, I'm gonna add my two cents to this thread now that I've had a chance to read some male opinions on the matter. This "premature load shooting problem" is not uncommon, at least in my experience. (Not giving anyone numbers on this!! LOL!) For those men that commented how how they control it (Dr. Pete - wink wink way to go! and Ponungalungb - my little, no BIG!, cake maker!) you should get together and write a book as you two seem to know something that most guys don't. Honestly, I think the average for most guys is less than 5 minutes. Ladies am I right? Or have I just picked the wrong guys?
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female
reader, DeeDoc +, writes (6 January 2007):
 THESE ARE MY THOUGHTS: Honey, please consider yourself lucky. Apparently, you ARE the reason why. The reason why is because you are getting them so excited that when "the time" comes, they cannot control themselves and they "explode". Good for you. I do, in fact, have to state that I hope you are practicing "safe sex". Guys that have sex often, well, it takes them a while before they "explode". So, honey, if your special someone goes quickly, it's because YOU excite them...PERIOD.
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A
male
reader, moomoomoo +, writes (6 January 2007):
 wow everyone answered this question already... ill just add to it cuz i have nothing to do right now... they enjoy it so much that they can't control it. there!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2007): I doubt it's you but it's interesting that you must be meeting the same kind of guys that seem to lack this control?
Personally I became aware of how my body worked and aimed to improve things pretty much straight away when I was in my first proper sexual relationship.
Maybe they are very, very inexperienced, all suffer from premature ejaculation or you're just so amazingly hot that all men just uncontrollably ejaculate when they see you?
Have you told them about this problem? Perhaps someone can correct me if I'm wrong, but men can generally stop or "calm" down when they know they are going to orgasm. Only for half a minute or so and then they can continue without orgasming so quickly. It's called self-control.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2007): It could be their way of flattering you! ;)
During intercourse I sometimes ejaculate earlier than I'd like if I am really turned on all of a sudden. It could be just a wiggle of my girlfriends hips in a certain way or something as simple as seeing her body moving in some way that totally sends me over the edge without warning! As a man, usually you can stop yourself by easing off a little, but in these cases there's no stopping it! but that just means you can have another go after a quick cuddle and snooze!
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male
reader, Ponungalungb +, writes (6 January 2007):
 Where do you live?
I don't want to know.
It's off to the cold shower for me. . . .
Seriously. How old are the guys you are with? I think most guys past 25 know how to control themselves to some extent. Here's a trick I use. Right when I think I'm ready to blow my load, and I don't want to, I think of Margaret Thatcher in a string bikini. LOL. Not really. But that sure as hell should work, eh. LOL.
I just slow down. That usually works for me. If my partner is doing most of the movement, then I try to get her to slow down, if at all possible. Snicker, snicker. Wink, wink. Nudge, nudge. Say you will.
Good luck!
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female
reader, rammsteinfan +, writes (6 January 2007):
 You are so good in bed that they can't control themselves!! There are things that they could use to keep their erection...like a cock ring or a cream that de-sensatizes their penis so that it lessens the sensations. I know this because the same situation happened to me.
I hope that this helps you out!
Love and Hugs
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell i only have to kiss them passionately and other things like foreplay and wen it comes to intercourse they ejaculate! I thought it only happens to young fellas but im talking about men in their 40's!
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male
reader, eddie  +, writes (5 January 2007):
 I've got an answer. IT feels SOOOOO darn good !!!!! Actually, I think some people think it's like the movies, porn or otherwise. It's not. Most men, I'm told, don't last as long as they like. Most women, I'm told, don't want steady intercourse for as much time as most men might assume. In other words, guys are trying to live up to some expectation they've put on themselves. Generally speaking of course. The idea of some guy going on for 20 minutes of straight forward in and out intercourse is probably much higher that average. Think about how long that is. Timewise I mean, not inches.
There are things a guy can do to last longer. Ejaculate once before intercourse, go slower and other techniques as well. Do some research.
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male
reader, maxsteel86  +, writes (5 January 2007):
 I dont know... you haven't given up any real info. Perhaps they're inexperienced
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2007):
How soon do you want them to cum? Because boy does that vary between women. No point in him guessing, these guys might be thinking that you never orgasm.
I'd advise starting by telling them what you need. If its 20 minutes, you had better change to side by side, use some additional equipment or date a tri-althelete.
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female
reader, sweetiegirl +, writes (5 January 2007):
 you never know you might be just to sexy for them,
but to get a little more in depth it could be just moving to fast if you now what I mean, try slowing down the motion control what they are doing, try you on top it's a sexy posistion and it's take a guy a little longer to ejaculate. or try skipping fore play, and just move in for the main event, there are many good websites that you could try and see if there might be a good website with some ideas on what you can do, to help your partner with his "problem"
Hope that Helps
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A
female
reader, CarrieMagdelene +, writes (5 January 2007):
 Howdy! Pre-mature ejaculation occurs for many reasons. Perhaps you are just really good at sex, hehe. Other reasons could be that your partner is nervous. From my own experience, men talk a real good game, but unless they're scripted porn-stars, they kinda sit back a little with a new partner, not really sure what they're interested in or care to do with them, and how they care to do it. It may take several weeks to build up a mans complete confidence, which will probably mean optimal time before ejaculation. Nervousness, as said so far, is a big reason for pre-mature ejaculation, but it's also a medical problem that just can't be helped on its own sometimes.
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female
reader, Lilly223 +, writes (5 January 2007):
This question is great!! Unfortunately, because I am female I can't answer it... BUT.. would LOVE to hear what you guys have to say! I can't wait for this! :) - really cheesy smile.
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