| A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: My boyfriend is really into anal sex and I am fed-up with it. We've been going out for over a year now so it is not as if I haven't tried. I am prepared to do it to please him on occasion but do not want to accept this as a function of our everyday sex life. It is extremely rare that it give me any gratifying physical sensation but makes me feel I need to use the bathroom and is always painful to start. My boyfriend is the only man who has managed to make me orgasm through vaginal sex and does it all the time but once I am satisfied he wants to stick his cock in my arse and I have succumbed in order to satisfy him the way he satisfies me but I am sick of constantly doing this. My previous boyfriends made me orgasm through oral sex but my new partner doesn't do it, I feel if I respect he has his reasons for abstaining from that then he should respect my reasons for abstaining from anal sex but I don't know where this will leave us. Can this one aspect of our relationship mean we are not compatible and that I should walk away. I am really unhappy about this.
View related questions:
anal sex, oral sex, orgasm, sex life, vagina Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi all who replied to my question, you have been a great help and I appreciate the suggestions also and assure you I will work on them. It's a delicate matter and I didn't know where to turn so Cheers. x
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2007): He probably thinks you like it... Have you actually told him that you find it very unpleasant for the reasons mentioned? If he is as keen on pleasing you as you say, he simply may not mind dropping it!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2007): Is it possible your partner thinks you like anal sex because you always succumb to it without complaint? I would be very honest about the fact that you don't like it and would prefer to stop doing it as sex is supposed to feel good not like a chore or be painful.
Some doctors even say to avoid this practice as you can get some pretty serious infections from it through tears in the rectum, and you can actually damage the rectum...it wasn't made to be an entrance for a large hard object, but an exit for soft, maleable fecal matter...and I am not afraid to say I am from the club that does not engage in anal sex ever as I do not like it....and I know plently of men who are not into it either and plenty of men who are more concerned with pleasing their wives than with anything else.
...............................
A
female
reader, sweetiegirl  +, writes (5 January 2007):
 if it doesn't feel right to you then tell him that. just sit him down before any sexual acts happens and say hunny look i love you but i really don't like having anal sex it really hurts, and it's very unpleasure for me, don't be mean about it and tell him how would he think it feels having something the size of a now what ever you can come up with make it big like a cucummber into something the size of a hot dog, it really hurts. tell him there are other ways to have sex with out having to have anal sex tell him maybe on special occasions if that's alright with you. just tell him the truth,
hope that helps and let me know if thing work out ok
sweetie
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2007): Agree on an anal schedule together, maybe once a week.
Look for other way to increase satisfaction from "plain vanila sex". Maybe you two can do some semi-public sex to get the same taboo feeling. Like a hotel balcony at night. Or maybe your own backyard when its too dark for anyone to observe you.
Also you could have him start anally, remove the condom and continue vaginally.
...............................
A
female
reader, CarrieMagdelene  +, writes (5 January 2007):
 Good question! One thing that definately needs to be discussed with your partner is mutual stimulation. Now, try to understand where he is coming from (no pun intended); he pleasures you, and you pleasure him. But when I say 'mutual stimulation', I mean activities you BOTH enjoy at the same time. Confront him about the no oral sex issue, and explain why you feel that because you respect him not being interested, that he should respect you for not being interested in anal sexual intercourse. Hopefully, this will clear things up. If not, perhaps sexual relations with this individual is not compatable. Good question, and enjoy life! -Carrie
...............................
|
