A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi there :)I have a wee question in general; why do girls like bad boys as opposed to the sensible, faithful guys who will treat them right?! Kind of a silly question, but just wondered if there was anyone else who, like me, is more attracted to the laddish lads and likes a cheeky man?? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2013): Thank you for all your answers - I've really enjoyed reading them and they've proved very insightful :)I now realise that its not a 'bad boy' as such I like; rather, I like a confident guy who's a smooth talker, but I do not find guys who get drunk/high/whatever else and who treat women like utter crap attractive. I'd never go out with a violent guy either. All of the guys I've thought about whilst writing this post are not true bad boys in the sense you guys are talking about (in some ways I cringe art myself for kinda liking them, I can see right through their facade and know what they're trying to do). I suppose they're just not as mature as they could be, but they'd never have fisty cuffs in barss or go out drinking EVERY night. They also wear aftershave/deoderant and aren't covered in tattoos! Thank you for all your answers regardless, I find this kind of thing really interesting! Cheers.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2013): I like nice polite men, who are confident but not cocky, intelligent but not pedantic and who respect women, so answering your question the answer is no, I prefer kind, nice, calm men, who are confident and have a sense of humor and have a job, and OP but answering for myself, I cal tell you that a bad boy kind of guy doesn't do it for me
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A
female
reader, Abella  +, writes (11 May 2013):
 Many don't like bad boys.
But those who do like Bad boys often have low self-esteem.
Bad Boys keep a look out for vulnerable and naive girls who the Bad Boy can manipulate.
And I totally agree with Maisy1.
Bad boys are, to me, the ones who end up as losers and become dead beat Dads who don't want to know their children.
Bad Boys often find it hard to hold down a job. Their lifestyle eventually catches up with them and they age faster than those who are into healthy living. They don't take care of their health.
They are untidy and sloppy and they sleep around.
They never think to put away any money for later. They prefer to blow their money on drinking, take-away meals, sometimes illicit drugs, gambling and being selfish.
I would call Bill Gates successful and for all the money he donates to charity he seems a good guy to me.
I think Paul Newman (makes the pasta sauces) qualifies as a success, plus it appeared that he was faithful to his wife and I'd call that a successful man.
Barack Obama seems successful to me - he seems to have a good sense of humor, he's a good Dad to his daughters and I call that success too.
Bad Boys are spewing in the gutter at three am and their homes are more likely to look like a pigsty. Bad Boys are more likely to forget appointments and are unreliable because they prefer no constraints and no structure imposed by others. So they live slightly disorganized lives.
Bad boys are more likely to get in trouble with the law and who wants to get out of bed at 4am to bail out your bad boy? Bad boys think rules are for other people and that they are entitled to NOT obey the rules. So who wants to pay his overdue bills? Or find excuses for him when his Bank calls? No thanks. Only a girl with very low self-esteem could like a bad boy.
Charm does not pay the bills. Liars do not make good parents. Rudeness is not easy to live with.
Ignorance, arrogance and rudeness are hardly traits one would recommend a girl look for in a man. Instead they are traits that a smart girl should run from.
And universally bad boys thinks it's no big deal to be unfaithful.
Nice guys are a joy to live with. They keep their promises and they are genuine, considerate and respectful.
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A
female
reader, maisy1 +, writes (11 May 2013):
i dissagree that bad boys are the most sucessful, most the bad boys i know dont work, have drink/drug problems and always in trouble with the police.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2013): Because we're more successful in life and make the best partners OP.
Before people start listing nerds who are rich and famous, people like Bill Gates, Steve Jobs etc. were alpha male businessmen even though they were nerds. Mark Zuckerberg, the google guys, all ruthless cut-throat guys who stepped over others to become successful.
You name any successful man, any man who is rich and powerful they're all bad boys in some way or another.
Plus women are genetically predisposed to find a man with the best genes. An aggressive no-nonsense male who knows how to get shit done and protect what he has is very desirable regardless of whether the guy is shy, skinny, short etc. any man of any shape or size, or any demeanour can be a bad boy and frankly OP the women that do like bad boys do want them to be faithful, sensible and treat them right too. Just because a guy is polite and respectful doesn't mean he'll be faithful or a good partner OP. Just because a guy is a badass doesn't mean he won't be faithful or sensible.
The problems only arise because women a lot of the time can't tell the difference between a badass and an emotionally immature asshole. The former being a guy who is alpha but good, the latter being a unhinged abusive prick that can't treat people well.
It is just as likely person12345 could find an abusive dick amongst her dating pool as it is for women who go for muscleheads.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2013): Bad girls like bad boys. Stay well clear. When you see a woman with 3 kids by three different fathers, don't ask god "why wouldn't she go out with me, I would have treated her right". Thank him on your bare knees.
It is harsh but guys that want to date bad girls and save them are no different then girls who want to save bad boys.
In general, questions like this tend sound a bit like:
"Why do all the girls want to be in the harems of bad boys and not in my harem". Wanting a harem is the hallmark of a bad boy.
A nice guy needs only 1 woman out of the 3 billion available. What the other 2.999.999.999 women do is no concern of yours.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (11 May 2013):
 They do ??
To each is own, I guess, as for me and most of the women / and girls I know ( and they are many ! ) - if by a laddish lad you mean an oaf or a lout, there's nothing more off putting, and if by cheeky you mean brash, loud, rude or abusive ... yuck !
I guess we have to define what a " bad boy " is. If it has to involve knocked out teeth, an endless string of baby mamas, and a fondness for drunken brawls , and perhaps, as WiseOwlE sayts, an avoidance of soap and deodorant... the only reason I can think of why SOME women like them, it's because they are women without self esteem , or common sense, or with a very waroed idea of what constitues masculinity.
If we mean, instead , a guy who is very self confident,( not cocky or smug ) , independent , maybe even a tad aloof...yeas that's sexy. Of course. A man that is with you because he wants to, - by choice. Not because he is afraid of loneliness, of not getting laid anymore, of spending time on his own, of being made fun of by his peers etc.etc. A guy that would have plenty of choices, sexually and otherwise, yet chooses you- yes , that's intriguing.
Maybe that's the fault with the " nice guys ", not that they are nice, that's always appreciable and appreciated, it's the sensation they give you that they HAVE to be nice or else. Some nice guys ( not all of course ) come off as a bit anxious and desperate, they are tring too hard, all the swetness, and compliments , and gifts... it's like they feel that in themselves they are not enough to keep a woman 's interest , so they have to sweeten the deal with extras. A confident guy, instead, with all his demeanour says : This is what I am. If you like it, great, if you don't... sorry, I am not going to bend over backwards to make myself more likeable to you ".
But a strong, self assured type does not have necessarily to be a Hell's Angel, he can also be gentle, and sensitive . He won't put up with tantrums or won't let women walk all over him, but in fact he is so secure in his virility ( and in his having plenty of options ) that he can afford to show his softer side. Heck, he can even dress like a metrosexual and get his nails manicured if he wants. He's man enough that he does not have to talk dirty or to win burp contests to show it.
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A
female
reader, maisy1 +, writes (11 May 2013):
Most of my friends like badboys and i dont get it! My friends see these guys as confident but most other people see them as arrogant, intimidating and cocky.
My mates say they like a man whos able to protect them, yet miss the point that its the badboy BF they need protecting from judging by the physical and emotional hurt they endure, and the number of times these lads take my friends to dodgy pubs and cause an argument which ends in fights!
Every girl i know who goes for badboy types gets treated like shit! Or they are left trying to sort out responsibilities while the BF is down pub each night drinking themselves stupid to prove they are a real man!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2013): For me it's not that I like a bad boy as such, but I do definitely like confidence in a man and bad boys usually have that. It's not the being nice part that puts me off, it's being TOO nice and a bit of a pushover that does it, and in my experience many of the 'nice guys ' are like that. A confident man knows he's a catch and it makes girls believe it too. I think that's the key - the nice guys think they are treating you well by being super agreeable and doing everything for you but it actually ends up being annoying and off-putting that they put your feelings before their own every time. Bad boys will have more respect for themselves and won't do that, which makes them more attractive I think. Plus the fact they are usually pretty good looking lads! ;) Btw, my current boyfriend is somewhere in the middle of nice and bad so it is possible to have both.
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A
female
reader, largentsgirl89 +, writes (11 May 2013):
 I love me a bad boy. I tried dating a "shy guy" and he wasn't aggressive enough for me when he needed to be. I was the protector in that aspect and I didn't like it. But there is a big difference in "bad boy" and just plain "douchebag".
As most experts will tell you, women associate these 'bad' traits with masculinity. From time immemorial, it's been men like warriors, gladiators, soldiers, etc, who've set feminine pulses racing. The intersting thing about bad boy is that they exude a kind of untamed masculinity, confidence and independence that women absolutely dig. And just like a woman's feminine charms turn a man on, this overt masculinity is almost like a natural aphrodisiac for the ladies.
"Some women love men with unconventional traits. Not only do these traits make them attractive, it also makes them more sexually appealing. Women get the feeling that these 'macho' men can satisfy them better than the usual, run-of-the-mill kind of men will be able to," explains clinical psychologist Seema Hingorrany. According to her, these kind of men give women an adrenaline rush.
"That apart, bad boys are famous and these women find it enjoyable and exciting to be in their company and be known as their friends," Seema adds.
Dr Kanan Khatau Chikhal, clinical and health psychologist says, "Most of these women who fall for these kind of men are intimidated by the outside world. They are shy by nature and are instantly attracted to someone who can take on the world, protect them and take care of them."
The interesting thing about bad boys is that they are a potent mix of confidence, indifference, mystery, intrigue and most importantly, excitement. Nothing they do is conventional or as per the rule book. As for their women, these bad boy knows how to tell her just what she wants to hear.
Seema, however, quickly warns that this fascination is just a passing phase and that as women mature and start thinking of long-term relationships and marriage, stability is the most important quality they look for.
Here are seven reasons why girls love bad boys:
They are confident
Yes, bad boys wouldn't be able to pull off half their antics if they weren't brimming with confidence. The intersting this is that this attitude of confidence overflows into everything that they do, be it the friends they make, the food they eat, the car or bike they drive, the way they drive, the way they order their drinks and even the way they talk to other women, even though the girlfriend may be just a step behind. And no matter what, such overt confidence is a major major turn on for women.
They are indifferent
They just don't give a damn. Rule books are not applicable to them and when it comes to getting things done, it's either their way of the highway. You can't expect to change him, or set him straight as they make their rules and believe that life is to be lived on the edge. Take it or leave it, that's the attitude they flaunt and that's one reason why they fare so well with women.
They are exciting and adventurous
Among the most prominent characteristics you'd find abundantly in bad boys is their love for excitement and adventure. According to them, if they aren't living on the wild side, they aren't living at all. Bad boys are always testing the boundaries and pushing the envelope when it comes to their life and women just can't get enough of this attitude. They find it intriguing and extremely exciting. And when you put exciting and adventurous beside the other rebellious traits, it sends women into a tizzy.
They are challenging and mysterious
Remember, if your behaviour becomes routine, women are bound to find you boring. women dig men who are a good challenge. As for the mysterious streak, contrary to popular belief that women love the tried and tested, the guessing game actually given them a high like no other.
They are very masculine
This often goes hand-in-hand with being confident, indifferent, exciting, adventurous... etc. Bad boys are often rugged and in-control. That doesn't mean that they are controlling, they just know how to get what they want without breaking into a sweat. They speak clearly and confidently, they look you in the eye, they are passionate about what they believe in... but most importantly, they still know how to treat a lady and make her feel good.
They give women a feeling of power
It's rightly said that the illusion of control is often more powerful than power itself. And when it comes to bad boys, they exude an air of power like no other, thus giving their women an air of strength and togetherness. Also, this power high does eventually rub off, even if just a bit, on their woman, too... and she laps it up!
They know how to talk to women
One of the main reasons why these macho men are such chick magnets is because they are so confident, especially when it comes to chatting up females. They give out this 'don't give a damn' attitude and are knowledgeable of almost every topic under the sun. That's not all, they are not afraid of putting across their opinion or making their point. Most importantly, they know how to woo a woman and her feel good with words. Smooth-talkers, they can walk their way in and out of situation is style and consequently set hearts racing.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2013): Some women believe it is their mission to try and change these men into something else. Especially the women that have frequent sex partners without establishing intimate relationships with meaning. They feel they can control and modify bad boys. But sadly most fail miserably while trying. Lots of these women are emotional wrecks when they are capable of creating and maintaining intimate long term relationships
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2013): Girls like the bad boys because they're more fun. They stay up late, lie, drink too much beer and come home and knock their pretty little teeth out. What could be cooler than that? They get them pregnant and leave the minute they get the news. The coolest thing is the way they'll have sex with their best friend(s), sister, and mum; if they can get away with it.They feel they can tame them by being sweet and aluring. Beauty and the beast. There's something cool about being seen with a guy who acts like a jerk, and treats them like something brown and sticky stuck to the sole of his shoe.Nice boys are boring. Their kindness is compared to weakness. Girls feel safer with bad boys. They think the bad boys will fight for them and don't take crap from anyone. They forget the bad boys use their fists when they don't get their way, and when dinner isn't on the table when he stumbles in late drunk from the pub.The bad boys are sexier and they talk dirty. They have nasty tattoos and forget to bring home money to pay the bills .They're too tough to wear after shave, use soap, or deoderant. That's unmanly.Seriously, girls like the bad boys because they have no positive male role models in their lives. They often grow up watching their mothers being abused or mistreated by men, and think that's what men are all like. If they do have fathers in their lives, but he is distant and unaffectionate, they assume that's how men are supposed to be. Or they think having someone abusive will keep them in line, because a father was missing in action most of their lives growing up.You can add any Hollywood fictionalized James Dean attributes you like. Bad boys break the spirits of the girls who think they love them. Why? Because they can.
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A
male
reader, human_male  +, writes (11 May 2013):
 Some women are drawn to men that treat them baddly because they believe that is all they deserve.
Also, men like the ones you like can be cocky and full of themselves and women mistake that for confidence.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2013): I don't like bad boys at all. Guys who cheat, lie and use women I think is gross. I like guys who look a certain way as opposed to the clean cut looking ones. Example: long hair, surfer, guys who are adventurous, fun, cool. But when it comes to treating a woman like a woman, there is absolutely nothing sexier than a chivalrous guy. It shows true confidence. Guys who treat women badly usually have low self esteem and probably not very good, weak mothers. I dont think that is attractive at all. I think the reason you like bad boys is probably cause you've never experienced what its like being with a good guy who loves you. Don't confuse a good guy with a clingy annoying guy. One has nothing to do with the other. Im talking about a guy who genuinely cares about you and respects you, treats you like a woman AND is cool as ^^it. Once you experience that you will definitely rethink your theory. Its like if you've only ever tried naval oranges you will assume its your favorite orange. Then later you discover blood oranges and valencia oranges and you realize there are way better oranges you didnt even know about. Its the same with guys.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (11 May 2013):
 I prefer sweet nerdy shy guys who are kind and caring.
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