A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have just found that my gf (2 years) has a subscription to zoosk. Should I be worried ? I feel angry and betrayed. I assume zoosk is an online dating site ? I reckon she is up to no good? Could anyone advice me on how I should approach this? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2013): Maybe your girlfriend feels that if you can go outside of your relationship for sexual satisfaction (on the internet) and look at porn, she can go outside for emotional satisfaction (on the internet) and talk to someone that actually listens to her and doesn't always tell her that she is wrong. But ultimately she only signed up using an email account that YOU have the password to so you would find out and feel as awful and betrayed as she feels when she sees that filth on your computer! And BTW i did not have to pay for it! As far as people thinking that if i thought you are a keeper i would delete it.... I guess if you thought i was a keeper you would delete your stuff! It's not really the women that decides on the "keeper" status anyway, bc you already know im not going anywhere, its you that has the job of asking the big question.
A
female
reader, largentsgirl89  +, writes (11 May 2013):
 My bf had one but it was from two years before we met and he forgot about it. He deleted it.
You need to find out if she is actively using it and go from there.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2013): You have been with your girlfriend for two years. You must pay for zoosk in order for it to remain an active account.You will still have the website address and home-page; if you have never deleted it. So don't jump to conclusions just yet. You didn't say that it was active and if she was still receiving hits.The only way you will know for certain if she still uses it, is to ask her. If she denies it, then ask her to show you the date of her last activity. Ask if she can show the date she terminated the services. You are her boyfriend and deserve the right to know. Why would she refuse? Here's an opportunity to put egg on your face! I would be calm and controlled. Don't lose your cool. She may be perfectly innocent. Explain your shock upon the discovery, and apologize.If you should find recent activity?Then you make your decision to remain with her based on the evidence found. Not based on hysteria, suspicion, and over-reaction.
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A
female
reader, Intrigued3000  +, writes (11 May 2013):
 Zoosk is not a free dating site. I would think only people who are serious about finding someone would pay. You need to find out when she paid for this subscription. Was it before or after you met? If it was before you met, then maybe she paid for an annual membership fee and forgot the cancel the renewal so it just renewed automatically. Is she active on the site? When did she last sign in?
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A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (11 May 2013):
 Yes, zoosk is a dating site.
The question that needs to be answered is she active on zoosk or is something from the time before she met you?
Assuming you are in a committed relationship (and I assume you are), I think you need to make a determination whether she is actively looking for your replacement or this was a passing fancy.
In short, you need to do some detective work as well as coming out and asking her what she is doing on that site. I would certainly consider this a betrayal if the worst is true.
Eddie
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2013): Its possible she joined the site before she met you and just never deleted the account. I wouldnt freak out about it yet.
Just ask her. Tell her you somehow noticed she had a zoosk account and naturally were curious to know if there is something you should know. There is nothing wrong with bringing it up. Im sure she'll appease your concern and probably tell you that its an old account, which very likely it is.
If she gets defensive, you might have a problem on your hands. But I suspect its nothing. You'll never know until you bring it up. Stop worrying, stop assuming and just do it. Ask her about it.
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A
male
reader, human_male  +, writes (11 May 2013):
 It IS a dating site and you should be angry. You should ask her point blank why, after being in a relationship with you she has an account on a dating site. If she doesn't give a satisfactory answer you should dump her, because she's obviously keeping her options open in case something better comes along.
Note: I can't really think what would be a satisfactory answer.
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A
female
reader, banditsmom1124 +, writes (11 May 2013):
 talk to her calmly about it! i personally have alot of friends i talk to on dating sites iv joined years ago.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2013): You can register as a zoosk member without having to pay money. You can even conduct a search on zoosk and see if her profile is still on line. If it is you can wink her for free and then let her have a piece of your mind if you find her on it. You decide. It is very evident that your girlfriend of two years has been successful in hiding her true intentions. You had no idea about this secret life if it is in deed that way? You still have a lot to learn about her yet. My advice to you is simple if I was on zoosk and met my man I would delete that account as soon as I found out he was a keeper. Good luck on your investigations.
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