A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:When I was 15, I got into a 3-year long relationship with a then 17 year old boy. The first year was great and yes, I lost my virginity to him (he did not lose his to me). But then he went off to university five hours away and we only saw each other on holidays and one weekend every month. It was too expensive to travel much more than that. Two days after our three year anniversary, he confessed that he'd been cheating on me since a month after our two year anniversary. I felt disgusting knowing I'd been sleeping with him the entire year prior and finding out that I had other women's germs inside me. My first question to him was if he contracted something that I should know about and he said, "Luckily no." And that was the end of that relationship. And yes, I still got myself tested for pretty much everything under the sun. I did not want to take any chances.I spent the fist three years of my college life single by choice. Mainly I was still getting over my first love but I also just wanted to concentrate on my studies and the two internships I had going for me, and just hanging out with friends. I never even one-night-standed anybody. Literally, I remained a "college virgin". Until I met my second love. He was 37 and a college professor (not mine!) and I was 21 majoring in the field he taught. Again, I did not take his class. The first few weeks after we met, we just had coffee and what not and then a week after my junior year was over, he asked me to be his girlfriend. My god, we talked for hours about everything under the sun and the sex was ridiculous (even though I only had one other guy to compare him to). But of course, I was fooling myself. After two years of being with him, I found out he had a wife of nearly 10 years and a five year old child. I ended it abruptly.Now it's been eight years and yes, I've gone on dates and have had sex with other people but I'm 31... and single. My longest relationship since 'the professor' has been four months and he broke it off with me because "I wasn't interesting enough". What the hell is that crap? I'm a successful, college educated woman with a fantastic career and my own damn house. I read TIME magazine and Stephen King novels, and do cross-words for fun. I'm an upstanding citizen, I pay my taxes, and vote. I consider myself financially conservative but socially liberal. I rock climb, run the track at the local park on a daily basis, and go drinking with my slightly younger friends every other weekend.I've done the dating site non-sense, had my parents and various friends set me up, dated good male friends (and lost them in the process), I've even gone to church (I'm atheist) to find a good man. I've been up and down the desperate roller coaster so many times, it kills me. And it doesn't help that I've talked to my gynecologist every six months since I turned 29 about my fertility options. Yes, I am fertile and can get pregnant and carry the child to term. No, I don't have any sperm to fertilize my eggs. My gynecologist says I only have about three or four years before I put any baby I have at major risk for birth defects like Down Syndrome. I literally don't know what to do at this point. Yes, I want a man who wants relatively the same things that I do out of life and a man who will love me but I also want children.What am I supposed to do???
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2013):
I love Steven king, James Herbert (rip) Clive baker so hi .. You sound very nice . And I wouldn't worry to much about babies having health issues.. I had our son at twenty who is autistic and then wouldn't have any more.. Nature however has a way and at 35 I fell pregnant with our daughter who is academic and extremely health then 3 years later had another daughter now 20 months with no disabilities . Age does not guarantee a healthy baby ..
Now finding mr right.. You have been through the mill.. First loves don't always last, I'm in the minority met my hubby at 15 teen still together lol . And you were right to end the relationship with the professor abruptly though I guess very sadly . Men can be baskets , and of course your interesting that guy was a twit and thought ok there some grass over there I haven't mowed best be moving on, sweetie say good bye to bad rubbish ..
Your too good for him, so stop pondering over some donkey who lets his head in his pants dictate his fate. You my dear want a man who can stimulate your mind as well as your panties so start choosing wisely . First off no more one night stands .. 2ndly it's time to change your drinking venues and your game plan. A night out with the girls, is just that a night out... Have fun, drink, dance oo flirt your eyes off, but no more ( and as I said different venues). If your going to the same places week in week out, people get to recognise you, if not by name then by face sooo it's onto new pastures ..
Don't go looking and that's when the unexpected normally happens .. The saying goes you kiss a load of toads to reach Prince Charming .. And you do not have to rush .
Keep us posted and happy fishing ( psst just throw the tadpoles back in, lol you soon find your dishy fish£
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2013): Its sounds like you have this little obsession with fertility issues. At 31 it's way to early to worry about baby disorders. Yes, they do tests on down syndrome after 35, but majority of those tests come back negative.
Ussualy women start experiencing problems with fertility in their late 30 s, like 38-39 and after 40 it gets even tougher. But you have a bunch of years in front of you to meet a guy, marry him and have couple of babies.
I just want to comment on this college professor fling that you had. How could you not know that he is married for the whole two years. Is it even possible?
He said you were not interesting enough becaus he got tired of , it was time for him to finish an affair.m
Also u sounds a bit desperate. Desperation is hard to hide, men can detect it immediately: facial expression, mannerism and so on. Until you relax and have a different look at your life, nothing will change. Good luck!
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A
male
reader, Xearo  +, writes (11 May 2013):
You do seem a pessimistic perhaps almost defeated and this vibe can be felt by most guys.Take a trip outside your state. Maybe you need a vacation to readjust yourself and who knows, you might even find an interesting person to lean on. You deserve a guy on your level so don't panic.
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