A
female
age
30-35,
*pendy
writes:Why did he have to do that? I feel so bad.:(? ? ? Last week I went to a prayer meeting with the youth at my church and when we were praying the youth leader said the Lord revealed to him that I've done something physical and the Lord has given me a warning and one more chance.He told the youth to stretch out their hands and pray for me.I was so ambrassed, couldn't he have told me privately? Why did he have to tell the whole youth?When I opened my eyes after the prayer I felt like all the girls were looking at me funny.I have a feeling they are making me seem like a ****. I've had 2 boyfriends in the past that I loved dearly. Is not like I saw sleeping around. But am single now.. Been single and celibate for 2years now waiting on the Lord for the right guy.No one is perfect. I've been doing the right thing now. Should I ask him what the Lord revealed to him? I feel so bad.Thanks..xI rang him to ask him what it was that the Lord revealed to him and he said he doesn't remember.. and he put the question to me saying "you yourself you know"
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2011): If you can, find another church. NOONE should ever be public shamed like that. Your youth leader seems to be a sadistic bully who enjoys inflicting emotional pain on the very people he is supposed to be spiritually guiding. He does not deserve to be in a position of authority within your church, or any other.
A
female
reader, Shamandalie  +, writes (16 May 2011):
Wow, and he calls himself a youth leader? If I were you I'd get away as far as I could from him and his group. But not before exposing him as what he is. Talk to the person in charge of the church about it. No one has the right to humiliate you, specially someone that is supposed to act as a guide to you. It sounds to me like he is the one obsessed with "physical" stuff.Though I took a different path now, I had years of religious (Roman Catholic) education. The "the Lord has given me a warning and one more chance." is pure crap. What about forgiveness? And the making the whole group part of it and making them pray for you seems more like the sort of things those crazy cults you see on TV do.You did absolutely nothing wrong so don't be upset about it, and don't let this guy play with your head. That's what people like him do. I've seen some of them in my school years, trying to create guilt where there is nothing, just to gain control over you. Though none of them was as openly vile as this one.Remember this: he only has as much power over you as you let him. He is in no way superior to you to the eyes of God so why should he be getting messages that (if they were real - they're not, you did nothing wrong) are meant for you. He is no prophet, though he seems to be claiming to be one! And that is, I thing, a much more serious fault than whatever he claims you did.Don't let it get to you. I am sure you are a great person. Best wishes and lots of light to you.
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A
male
reader, jp23  +, writes (16 May 2011):
 I would say to him, All the things you have said her, go over all the facts with him and say do you remember now, and if he cannot come out with an answer then maybe he was lieing, it is writen, "Just as there were false prophets among the people, so there will be false teachers among" could he have been lieing? masterbation maybe or dildo, idk? Did you do that? or maybe its lust in the mind of thoughts. but If that is the case then what about the other girls. Do you cut your self? or did you hurt someone maybe? I'm trying to get all the thoughts out onto a page. just start to pray and as you are praying asking god what you did. begin to try to answer them and when you are doing this maybe God will open the answer to you and even though you are speaking the words aren't from you but the holy spirit. Or atleast thats what I do. but one thing you need to do is ask your paster to write down what the Lord tells him in a journal, keep track so when the next person comes to him about an issue like this he will be more clear in answer. second you only bring out a persons sin in the church if everyone knows or 90% know whats going on like in the story of a man that slept with his step mother. in any case the same consept aplys. 1 Corinthians 5:1-5. If everyone new of your sin and you were still in it then it has to be brought up and repented, and thats also as an active member of the church as well in a whole. Or if your on a retreat and its in a small group, it is also ok to bring up something someone is dealing with. But your paster shouldn't have confrunted you on that issue, he should have gave informed a woman paster on the issue to talk to you about. He needs to be a little more organized on how he proceeds in giving information. did he even pray on what he should do with the information God gave him or did he just react, and do. I think it is always important to reflect before reatcting. But pray and see if you find awareness, even fasting too. so you can get closer to the holy spirit. Be open to his thought. He is always trying to speak to us but we are just so busy with everything around us sometimes we forget how to fully listen. So taking stuff away will always help.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (16 May 2011):
 Pardon me for saying so, but the youth leader is full of it. Spendy, based on your other question about why your friend was trying to embarass you because of the top you wore, I suspect there are rumors out there about you. I think if this is upsetting you, you have to hold your head up high and make sure you hold your composure. You might want to have someone assess your wardrobe, as you may be giving off signals you don't intend. People are making assumptions about you so time to figure out why. It could be that a false rumor is making the rounds. Ask your girlfriend in a neutral and calm tone to tell you what she's heard about you.
And you have my permission to tell the youth leader he's full of it. Better still, go tell the pastor about the exceedingly embarassing and absolutely incorrect assumption this guy made about you. The youth leader needs some monitoring if he's doing this type of nonsense to vulnerable teens. Good grief.
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A
female
reader, based51  +, writes (15 May 2011):
 you should tell this guy that it wasn't so pure of him to humiliate you in front of everyone. What he did was wrong and in doing it he is hypocritical. He announces to your entire group that you've committed 'sin,' as though he had a right to judge you. Call him on this.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2011): This is why I hate organized religion :( He had no right to embarrass you like that. I am sorry he did that to you. That is between you and God, and if he wanted to talk to you about it, it should have been done privately.
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A
female
reader, MamaBear +, writes (15 May 2011):
My suggestion is to change to another youth group and/or another church. How cruel of the youth leader to single you out in front of the group - and worse yet, to later say he could not remember what the Lord told him. This is hooey! You are old enough to make up your own mind as to what church you wish to belong. I hope you can recover from this humiliation and soon.
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