A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend needed to attend a formal dinner/dance event. Though I was the partner of choice, I could not get out of work on time to make it to the benefit. Instead, My boyfriend invited a friend to be his partner. Later that night, he told me that he danced with her and had an erection. I tried to act as if everything is okay but I am kind of torn on the inside. Is it normal for these kind of things to happen to men? Should I not worry about it? Or should I be concerned about the relationship between the two?
View related questions:
erection Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Illithid  +, writes (16 December 2010):
 Men cannot control that reaction. It's embarrassing, frustrating, and it totally has a mind of it's own. It's normal to get one when you don't want one, even if you're around a woman you aren't attracted to, even when you aren't around a woman at all. Your guy made a point to tell you because he's being completely honest. You possibly didn't WANT to know this, but he felt that he had to be honest.
Sounds to me like he just got an erection because he's still a healthy, straight male. But he's still totally YOURS, heart and mind.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2010): No sorry I don't consider his actions 'normal' - getting an erection aside - I think he was telling you to make you jealous. I mean what on earth were you supposed to think with that information. It was actually quite spiteful because if you said to your boyfriend I danced with another guy and was really getting wet doing so then I wonder how he would have felt? I think its easy to explain an erection - less easy to explain what he gets out of telling you. He doesn't sound mature or considerate to me.
...............................
A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (16 December 2010):
 My best friend got an erection in front of his boss and another co-worker (he's also on the "large" side)..so yes it's quite normal.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2010): Its perfectly normal that these things happen to men, we get erections quite easily. This woman who he danced with was probably attractive, so his erection was an automatic instance. He probably appreciates an attractive lady which means he will appreciate you. I wouldn't worry about it at all. If he can't get an erection with you but can in the presence of another female, then you'd have something to worry about.
The only thing he has done wrong is tell you about it, he shoud've kept his mouth shut because he has caused you unnecessary concern. I'm quite sure his "dancing moment" erection was meaningless.
...............................
A
female
reader, largentsgirl89 +, writes (16 December 2010):
 Yes it's normal. Some men can control when they have an erection and because of hormones, other men can't control when they get an erection and it just happens, even when they don't want it to. It's quite possible that your bf had one of those guy moments where any contact or any thought just gave him an erection.
Depending on your relationship with your bf and how you two communicate ( i wouldn't find it weird for my bf to tell me that because we have no secrets) I would find it in good faith that he told you and didn't keep this from you. I think that if it had meant something or wasn't an embarassing moment, he wouldn't have shared it with you. Did he say that he is attracted to her? Or has he had a past relationship with his friend?
I hope this eases your mind. Good luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (16 December 2010):
 Once in improv class we were doing some sketch, and I went to sit on a classmate lap. He jumped up like a jack-in-the-box literally sending me tumbling down . I hurt my knees, I was annoyed and thought the guy was crazy- then my classmates explained me what had most probably happened . So, yes, it's normal , it happens.
What I don't understand is why your BF had to tell you about it- it's sort of private, could he not have kept his big mouth shut ?:)
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2010): It is normal and not necessarily linked to him having sexual feelings for her. The fact he told you is proof he is not hiding it or feeling ashamed, and because of that, it is unlikely he had the erection of of sexual attraction, although being in her presence may have had a little to do with it.
Keep an eye on it tho. Sometimes little things like this open the door to further curiosities. If your marriage is sound, you have nothing to worry about tho.
...............................
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (16 December 2010):
 I too have to wonder what his motivation was for telling you. I mean honesty IS crucial to a good relationship but telling you about an "accidental" erection makes me wonder. He must have known that this little chunk of info might upset you, if he didn't he's rather obtuse.
...............................
A
male
reader, Cupid Boy  +, writes (16 December 2010):
 Yes, it is somewhat normal and he can't be blamed for it. But it's not quite normal to talk about it. So I have to wonder why he would deliberately point it out. There's no way you would have found out otherwise. Was that his way of trying to make you jealous?
...............................
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (16 December 2010):
Men wake up with erections, that's how unpredictable they are. I don't think you have anything to worry about at all. There's no relationship between those two. It was just something that happened. He wasn't even mentally turned on, and was so worried and embarrassed about how you'd feel that he even told you about it. I don't think you need to worry at all.
...............................
A
male
reader, steph007  +, writes (16 December 2010):
I say that any healthy men may have erection when dancing slowly & close with any kind of cute girls. This is not a sin, not a cheat, I do not see any problem, except that he has good sex drive, and reactive manhood. In your place I would not complain about this..:)
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2010): "Is it normal for these kind of things to happen to men?" Oh yeah that's very normal and embarrassing as hell.
"Should I not worry about it?" There's nothing to be worried about.
"Or should I be concerned about the relationship between the two?" No
Look erections can't be controlled and for a lot of guys any female contact can lead to one. I once got one dancing with my friends mother and she was old and I wasn't in the least bit attracted to her. I was wearing really light pants to so when I pulled away from dancing loads of people saw it and I was a laughing stock. I got another while doing a play, I was the lead and was holding the female lead doing a scene and had to carry on with my erection strategically placing my hands in front of it hoping no one would notice.
We can't control them and we can't control what sets them off, but they're not a sign of mental arousal at all. Just because we're physically aroused doesn't mean we are mentally.
...............................
A
male
reader, the_phoenic +, writes (16 December 2010):
you dont need to worry
sudden erections are very common in men
infact we can have an erection while praying !
in other hands a man who is honest and totally in love with his patner might have an erection wen seeing some thing good
or feeling or hearing some thing,
that definetly doesnt mean that he is welling to cheat
but we as men are created this way
...............................
|
